Beauty in the Stars

One

      Have you ever wanted to be normal? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to fit in? Have you ever tried to change yourself for other people? Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if we all just fucking got along? I think about these things all the time. Everyday, whether I'm wandering through the lonely streets of my home town, Grove Bay, Colorado, or getting lost in a world full of fantasy in my head. What would it be like to be normal? What would it be like to not be me?

      "Josephine Marie Star get your little butt down here right now!" I was pulled from my mind by my step mothers screeching voice. Reluctantly, I arose from my desk and made my way to the parlor where she was sat. She never moves from that damn couch, the television is her life. 

      "Yes, Alison?" I gave her a forced smile, knowing she hated when I used her first name. I could already hear her piercing voice ring through my head, I am your mother now, address me as so! Alison wasn't my mother, Camilla Higgins-Star was, not this red haired, monstrous woman my father decided to marry. Her short red curls bounced as she shot up from her seat. Pointing one of her long, crooked fingers at me, she hissed,

      "Josephine we will discuss your disrespectful behavior later. For now, what is this?" She pulled a crumpled up letter from her pocket, shit, I knew what it was. It was the letter I had written to my twin brother, who I knew was still alive. I hoped the mailman would come before Alison found it. Obviously, that idiot didn't do his job right. 

      "It's a letter, you should probably put it back in the mailbox so it can get mailed. That's what letters do, Alison. They get mailed." I spat at her with so much sarcasm I think her head nearly fell off. 

      "It's addressed to your brother, Josephine. Your dead brother. Who died. You need to stop living in your damn fantasy world and grow up! You are seventeen years old and will be eighteen in a few months. Start acting like an adult!" With that, she ripped the letter into a million pieces, each piece gently fluttering to the floor. I watched Alison's crimson red acrylic nails rip through my plea for help. That letter was suppose to get to Evan. He was suppose to save me. 

      "He is alive you psychopathic bitch!" I started to storm toward her, I was going to hit her I swear. As fists started to form at the ends on my arms, the doorbell rang. My eyes shifted to the clock hanging on the wall, I forgot about school.  

      "That must be that damn boy from down the road, huh? That boy I don't like you hanging out with. He's a terrible influence on you, Josephine." Alison grabbed my wrist, I turned my head and our eyes met. I yanked my wrist from her grasp.
      "Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me." I hissed. Grabbing my bag from beside the door, I threw on my high top converse and slipped out the door.

      Alexander had already left the doorstep and was leaning against his car. He gave me a small, sympathetic smirk as he opened the passenger door. I ran down the sidewalk and basically jumped into his car. I was so desperate to get out of that house, to get away from Alison. The door slammed next to me, then Alex got in. 

      "Another fight with the wicked witch?" He chuckled, pulling out a cigarette from his pocket and handing it to me. 

      "Of course, what else do I do?" Quickly, I took the cigarette and lit it. The burning taste of nicotine filled my lungs, running marathons through my bloodstream. My head fell back against the head rest. 

      "Maybe school will get your mind off it." The car roared to life, my head turned to look out the window. I took slow drags of the cigarette. Houses flew by in a blur of dull colors, sunlight painted a thin layer of warmth and glow on our small town. I looked over at Alex, I admired him. He always wore a black leather jacket, it was his grandfathers. The leather was cracked and dry, but he always said he would wear it until it turned to dust. His dark brown hair was slicked back, and his cross earring dangled from his right ear. He was truly a bad boy from the eighties who was born in the wrong time. 

      "Thinking about how I'm a time traveler again?" He laughed, I always teased him for being a time traveler. His pale grey eyes met mine for a split second before he looked back at the road.
      "You have to be. No one in this generation dresses like you, listens to your type of music, nothing. You're literally straight out of an eighties movie. You give me cigarettes, I mean come on!" I giggled, flicking my dead cigarette out the window. 

       "Listen, Josie, I'm just a small town bad boy. Your average trouble maker. Your best friend." He smirked. 

       "Our best friend..." my voice trailed, I reached into my shirt and pulled out Evan's fake dog tags he had made. 

      "Right, our. You're sure he's still alive?" Alex's voice shook as he asked his question. He was probably worried I would freak out. Blow up. Scream. Yell. Something. But I could never snap at Alexander. Never. 

      "He's my twin. I feel it. I can feel him. He's still out there. He's with my mom. I know it. They are both alive. They have to be. They wouldn't just... leave... they couldn't just... die.... right?" I looked at Alex, hoping for agreement. 

       "Yes, right. You're right. They loved you, you know that?" I could hear the fear in Alex's voice. Everyone thinks I'm a ticking time bomb. Everyone walks on eggshells when they are around me. Like I'm crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm just lost. I didn't answer his question. Instead, I stared out the windshield as Grove Bay High came into view. I sighed. 

     "I hope Evan's at school today." The same thing I said everyday when we approached the school. Everyday I hoped things would go back to they way they were. They only thing that kept me going. Hope.