Beauty in the Stars

Six

      Time drifted away from me, when I looked at my phone for the time, the numbers flew from my screen and into the air. The dried blood from my split lip clung my skin together, not even the growing cold air could get through it. I could hear the cheers from the football game in the distance, all those people who didn't care about me. I found myself in the middle of the road. I sat. 

        The stars were so beautiful, there was so much beauty in the stars. Each one was a unique ball of light that gave people hope. A trillion tiny painted white dots in the sky that sent a message so much more powerful than most think. I laid back in the middle of the road, staring at the sky. When I die, I want to become a real star. I closed my eyes. 

       "You know, Josie, you're the kind of girl that we read about in books." I kept my eyes closed, Alex's voice rang through my head. Why he had followed me, I would never know. 

       "Buzz off, kiss ass. Your gang buddies are probably looking for you." I heard him lay next to me, the letter of his jacket scraped against the pavement. He sighed heavily. 

       "I only laughed at you because they did-..." he started to speak, but I already knew the answer. 

       "Save it." I breathed. I craved silence, that's all I wanted. The blissful silence of being outside alone. My eyes slowly opened, staying toward the sky to avoid looking at Alex. Moonlight covered the tops of the trees in a soft, eerie white blanket. The branches were coated in a thin layer of ice, the morning dew had iced over with the growing cold.

      "Let me tell you something, Alex. Imagine you're driving your car on a road. Your car is you, the road is life. When you look out the window of a car on a highway, what do you see? A blur of trees, bushes, and grass, rushing by your window. Trees, bushes, grass. Trees, bushes, grass. Fast. Fast. Now try to focus on one tree as you pass, you can only do so for a few moments before it's out of sight and you focus on another one. But billboards, billboards seem to last forever. This is a lot like how people work, best friend. People you don't care much for are trees, they pass quickly through your life. Billboards on the other hand are people you enjoy having in your life. You look up and saw me coming toward you, your focus only lasted a moment. Then I fell. Your gang buddies began to laugh and your focus darted to them. You stayed watching them for a long amount of time, laughing. They are a billboard. I am a tree." Silence followed. 

        I left Alex in the middle of the road, I went home. Though home wasn't that safe for me, it felt safer than being in the open. I just wanted to see Evan again, maybe even mom. Someone who was on my side. Someone who wanted me for me. I collapsed onto my bed. The angry slamming of my fathers bedroom door shook my core, yet I did not move. Alison's thundering footsteps approached my door. 

     "Josephine Marie Star do you realize what time it is?!" She screeched. It sounded as if a small bird had been squeezed. I didn't want to deal with her. She began to bang on my door. With each pound I felt the blood in my veins jump. 

     "Josephine answer me now! Your father is coming home tomorrow night, I will tell him how disrespectful you are!" My body shot up from my bed, I stared at the door. My father was coming home. Lovely. Sometimes I wished he would never come home from his business trips. He stopped believing that mom was going to come home. He stopped believing Evan was alive. He is no longer my father in my mind. Just a man who lives in the same house I do. I arose from my bed, reluctantly opening my door to face my horrendous step mother. We stared into each other's eyes, rage filled mine and I watched tears fill hers. I felt nothing toward it. 

     "Dearest Alison, please, refrain from disturbing my slumber. And please, do not refer to Dustin has my father. Goodnight." With that, I slowed closed my door. I heard a faint sniffle as I retreated back to my bed. Alison's soft steps went back to Dustin's bedroom. Again, I collapsed onto my bed. Without a single second wasted, I fell into a deep sleep. My dreams were consumed in anger, fear, and pain. But for some sickening reason, I preferred this over reality.