"Getting laid on your first college party kinda sucks if you can't remember anything but their bare back and hair color." "You also don't have a kitten." "That's not the point here, Ethan."
Craig just wants to find the person who he fell in love wit...
"There was a time where I was...really bad." Ethan started to confess over a hot cup of Cocoa, staring at its contents rather than Craig.
Both of his hand were clutching the cup as if hanging on them for dear life, for the little warmth they possessed. His knuckles white, his face pale and he was shaking.
"I don't like to talk about it, but I kinda owe you because I lied to you...and also, you nearly started a fight for to me, so...thanks...", is what Ethan had told him with a weak smile, but it was definitely uncomfortable for the other to talk about it.
Shortly, Craig considered to tell Ethan to not talk about this if he wasn't comfortable and that he could wait with the explanation, but Ethan spoke up gain, this time with newfound resolve, finally looking up at Craig's face.
"I was suicidal, you know. He saved me."
It was one of these situation where anything you say sounds wrong. That situation you see in movies or stories and the main character always says something stupid and you want to punch them.
Craig couldn't say anything.
"My father is showering me with affection since that incident. He wanted to make me feel less alone and even takes weeks off to go on trips with me. My sister, you know, my actual real sister, is barely home, but always calls to make sure I'm good and brings me gifts every time she's home. And I realized...that I wasn't alone."
There was wistful expression on Ethan's face, as if he was thinking about something pleasant. Craig could only guess it was his family and their affection.
"I wanted to thank him for saving me. But I might have gotten a little clingy in the process. I...got attached to him. He was the one who saved my life after all."
After a sip of his Cocoa, Ethan stayed silent for a minute. However, Craig knew that his explanation wasn't over yet, so he didn't say anything. Like he thought, the younger boy continued to talk.
"In the end, I was completely dependant. Asking about every problem that occured to me, bothering him whenever I could. Sorry I dragged you into this."
A quiet "no problem" is all Craig could choke out in the end and Ethan left after another apology.
It was when the younger one was already standing in the door frame of the Cafe when Craig finally realized what happened. He jumped up and grasped Ethan's shoulder, who turned around in surprise.
"Let's talk", Craig breathed out and dragged the other back to the park to sit down on the same bench on that he found Ethan earlier.
A few minutes of silence passed until Craig finally uttered the words: "I don't think less of you because of this."
Ethan stayed silent as if he was waiting for an explanation of the words. He was watching every movement, distinguishing between lies and truth, genuine reactions and pity.
"Ethan, I think you're very smart, nice and easy to talk to, okay? What you just told me about yourself doesn't changed that at all. We all had difficult times, okay? I accept you the way you are, I can forgive you for your lying now that you explained to me. So...stay my friend, please?"
At the end of his little speech, Craig jumped off the bench to face the other, extendimg his hand for him to take. Ethan did not take his hand, however. Instead he faced the ground, muttering word under his breath.
Craig grew worried. Did he say something wrong? He wanted to ask but then he heard snippets of Ethan's murmuring: "..love you"
"Uh, what was that?" He asked, with a sense of dread filling him. He couldn't return the feelings he suspected the younger boy to have, he loved someone different after all. And dating him out of pity doesn't seem like a good idea, Ethan had a sharp mind, he'd notice. If maybe they could stay friends after that? But after the things Ethan told him, is that wise? And his reaction to the proposal spelled otherwise.
It was the three words Ethan uttered that shattered all off Craig's hope of friendship.
"I love you."
Followed by six less shattering words.
"Is what you should say now."
When Craig met Ethan's eyes, he didn't see the face of someone who just confessed. Instead, he was faced with a mischievous grin and a snort, exclusive by Ethan Eliot Hollow, the I-just-tricked-yo-ass expression the older boy knew too well.
"What's wrong? Cat got you're tounge?"
Oh that little.
"What the fuck Ethan." The other was openly laughing now. Craig on the other hand was red in the face and didn't dare to meet the younger one's eyes.
"Sorry, did I offend you? It just sounded like one of these movie confessions."
Laughing, Ethan clasped his shoulder lightly. "Were you worried that I'd confess my love and destroy our friendship? I know you love someone else, Craig."
"Oh God, sometimes you're too sharp for your own good...wait, how the fuck do you know about who I love!?"
Ethan turned his back to him. When he followed the other with his gaze, he saw the brunette pick flowers on the grass, with a serene look on his face.
"It's the way you looked after Tweek. You looked like you did the biggest fuck-up of your life. Combining with the sighing when we first met, he was probably the person you were looking for. You actually were in love, sapp."
"Don't call me that." "Craig 'Sapp' Tucker, in his natural habi-" "DON'T."
Another laugh. "Don't worry Craig, you're like my best homie. I think you're a great friend, nothing more."
A sigh of relief escaped Craig, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that this was a temporary affirmation and that Ethan might fall in love with him in the future. It worried him, as he nothing but feelings of friendship towards the other, and he didn't want to break his heart after the backstory the younger had. Ethan took notice of that.
"And I won't fall in love with you anytime soon. You know why? 'Cause I'm straight."
Oh. Like actually too sharp for his own good.
"Ya know, like super hero straight. Your gay thoughts can't reach me, villain!"
Laughing, Craig sat down next to where Ethan was picking flowers. To his relief, the other was smiling, more radiant than he did ever did in Craig's presence.
"I don't mind your preference." Ethan hastily added suddenly, as if he felt bad for making fun of it. The older boy just laughed standing up and extending his hand to the other once more. Ethan just looked at it curiously.
"Prove it by shaking my hand right now and confirming that you will still be my friend."
That he had to iniate a handshake a second time reminded him of their first meeting, where he had to ask for Ethan's name three times.
Now that Ethan will listen after the second time, that would be progress right? Or so Craig thought, but all he got in the end was a few flowers in the face and no hand to shake, accompanied by Ethan's laughter.
---
A/N: Creek stuff will come very soon, I promise. On the other hand, what was I thinking in chapter 1? Snowy brown hair? What does that even mean???
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