I can't get out of bed. It's not just your typical 'oh let me sleep longer.' No. My body doesn't want me to move. My mind doesn't want to function. I don't want to think because if I start to think my mind will never stop. Is this what it's like living with depression? A constant weight on your shoulders that you can not get rid of . No matter how many meds you take. No matter how many therapy appointment you make. They say "just get over it." Depression is not something you can just get over. Do you know how hard I've tried? I've tried discovering new hobbies, but my depression always seems to take control. I can't make peace with myself. I'm always thinking, thinking, thinking. It won't stop. Why won't it stop. Can I please just make this all stop. But it's not that easy. If it was that easy I wouldn't need medication. If it was that easy I wouldn't need appointment after appointment after appointment. If it was that easy I'd have hobbies I'd enjoy. If it was that easy I would be happy. But here I am. Still lying in bed. Not moving. Not motivated. I have never been motivated. I'm here. In this body I'm supposed to call mine. In this body I hate. I'm here. In this bed. Lonely. Trapped. Unable to move a muscle. I'm here. One this planet I'm supposed to call my home. But wouldn't it be easier if I wasn't. If I wasn't here at all. What if I just disappeared. Nobody would notice anyway.
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Midnight Sorrows
PoetryI kind of write just to write. Most of my work is free verse, but here and there I'll be in the mood to rhyme. Some of my writings are also personal and can be about specific people or events in my life. It just all depends on what I feel like writi...
