Let Inside

White Raining in Black

C-c-cold...

That was the first word I could probably use. It always snowed amongst the night sky, the light from the flakes seemed to be falling specks from the stars themselves. This was mostly the only things my eyes were presented with every silent second I stood amongst a wall. Grey bricks stacked to create a sanctuary on the other side, a window and door the only thing providing color to my life.

I should probably give you who I am first off, or at least how I'm represented in this. I'm a young boy who's given their life to become the sacrifice to the outside. The one who made sure that suffering and pain had somewhere to collect, so no other person would have to feel it. My friends were my priority, my life was only for them. My needs? My pain? My health? My survival?

N-n-no need to worry a-a-about the small things...

While I had free reign of walking to a degree, and there was no obstacles between me and the sanctuary, it wasn't my place to take it. Whenever I thought about entering through the door, my mind refused it, when I tried my heart denied. I was supposed to be the protector, so I had to take the pain for them, make it so they could rest easy. Besides, it's the one thing that gave me purpose in life.

W-w-without them, I'm n-n-nothing...

Every moment watching through into sanctuary was blissful, even if it was poisoning me, I still watched. It brought my chapped lips to lifts its ends for a moment, everyone sitting around with basic luxuries and each other. I enjoyed their enjoyment, hearing them laugh, seeing them healthy, it was all worth it. In my state, that's all I really needed to enjoy outside.

At the root of it all, it just became routine and instinct, hiding myself from the others. Year after year I'd do it, and when I caught someone hurt, no matter how mild, I matched it as much as I could. By now I was very damaged, though, I was already from the start due to having nothing. But, that was the basic life on the outside, you give up your will, your wants, and even your why at some point.

I'm o-o-only good when I'm destroyed...m-m-maybe I'll b-b-be even more when I'm d-d-dead...

N-n-no rest...

No desires or h-h-healing...

O-o-only standing h-h-here...

P-p-protecting those I l-l-love...

I collapsed there, another part of my life, as I'm still mortal, and still at risk of death. Though, at that point, I even became numb to that thought, I giggled at the thought of being useful. It was my paradise, it was my claim to fame, but, that'd all change when they started opening the door. Inviting me inside.