Silent Blue ✦ 2jae (discontinued)

. twelve .

"I think Jaebum's gonna quit soon," Mark told the bartender who he didn't know very well. The bartender didn't know his job particularly well either, but that didn't matter.

"Like, actually?" he asked, stopping in his tracks with wide eyes. "No, he wouldn't."

"Yugyeom-ah, he wants to..." Mark felt bad that he'd figured out so much from another one of his encounters with Jaebum at the bookstore café. "Hell if I know why, though." He took another sip of his virgin cooler, deep in thought.

"I thought he liked it here when it closed. Is he over that now?" Mark only shrugged, not knowing what answer to give. He really had no idea where Jaebum's head had been and could only assume based on past experiences. It seemed to him that Jaebum was gaining interest in something else.

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"Youngjae."

He was lying in his dorm room then, over his flu and deep in thought when Jinyoung called him.

"Where have you been? Seungkwan said you haven't been in the dorm for like three days, what happened to you?"

"I was with a friend, Jinyoung. He was taking care of me while I was sick." He knew Seungkwan was also away with friends even more than he was, so he didn't see the issue Jinyoung was having. Three days wasn't a lot, he thought. "Besides, I still don't feel good, so don't come by the dorm."

"Fine, fine. But you're okay, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. And stop calling me so late."

"Stop picking up so late," the older retorted and hung up.

Youngjae laughed and put his phone down, stomach turning as he thought about the morning. He wanted to see Jaebum at the library early in the morning again, but part of him wanted to be back in his apartment. He felt comforted by the older when he held him like he had when Youngjae was upset.

Youngjae fell asleep, almost feeling a ghost of Jaebum's arms on his shoulder.

In the morning, he dressed himself in a long t-shirt and a beige jacket. He spend longer on his hair than he'd intended, but he decided that a trip to the library would become a regular thing. Maybe trips to the bookstore as well, but it was the library today.

He walked inside a few minutes after eight, caught off guard when Jaebum wasn't sitting behind the desk. "Oh—" he said out loud, nearly asking if Jaebum wasn't coming in, but he felt it was obvious. Maybe he gave the older his flu. The thought made him guilty.

"You're quite the early bird," mentioned the librarian with a chuckle. She asked, "Do you need help with anything?"

"Oh, no... I just came to return this." He brought a small book out of his pocket that he brought to talk to Jaebum about, but he supposed he just would give it back.

"Okay, thank you." With that, Youngjae walked out feeling his heart and stomach sink, and he knew the reason but couldn't pinpoint why. He stood outside of the door, trying his hardest to string his thoughts together until he decided he'd head to the bookstore, thinking that Jaebum might be there if not at the school library. Probably not, but he'd check it out anyway.

Walking inside, his heart pounded suddenly, smelling coffee instantly and searching for that tinge of mint that followed him around the last time. He hadn't eaten anything, but he also didn't bring any money with him, so he hoped some more that Mark would be there to give him something free.

He found himself drifting to Jaebum's regular booth, even though there were many more seats since the bookstore had only just opened. To his surprise, he did see Mark, who walked up to him with a wave and sweet smile.

"Youngjae, are you feeling better since last week?" Mark asked, sitting down on the other side of the booth.

"Ah, yeah," Youngjae smiled sheepishly. "Jaebum helped me out for a while, so I'm feeling better now."

"Good, that's good." Mark rested his hand under his chin and started chewing a fingernail. "Do you want anything? We have more than breakfast stuff here," he mentioned. "I don't know why they call it a café, this is like a restaurant," he trailed off and laughed. "We've got soup if you want that. Or a sandwich?"

"Um... Soup sounds good... Like chicken soup?" he asked cautiously.

"Sure thing!" Mark jumped up happily to go get Youngjae's food, and Youngjae was left on his own to think some more, but he couldn't really. Every time, his mind would find a way to relate his thoughts back to being held by somebody, but he felt weird about it. Jaebum was comforting him like any friend would do. But, were they friends even?

He couldn't remember if he had Jaebum's number or not, so he took his phone out to check. He lit up a little when he saw a contact name Im Jaebum, but he saw that there was no number. Only a note that said, "Guy from library," was in the contact name. He wanted to ask Mark if he knew where he was, but was unsure of what kind of message that would give off. Mark would probably think he went there looking for Jaebum.

And he did, but Mark didn't need to know that.

After a short time, Mark returned with some chicken soup and a cup of iced tea.

"You look like something's on your mind," Mark told him, sitting down again. Youngjae wondered if he ever got in trouble for doing that, but didn't question it too much. Mark, not wanting to pry, only said, "I'll get you a spoon, hold on." Youngjae hadn't realized there wasn't one.

When Mark came back, Youngjae tried the soup and was surprisingly delighted. He still felt Mark's eyes on him, though he wasn't uncomfortable. Mark was okay. Jaebum was friends with mark anyway, so he was probably trustworthy. "You know..." He would never mention Jaebum though. "I don't know. There's a lot on my mind, that's all."

"Anything in particular? School, people...?"

"People," Youngjae answered vaguely. "Yeah."

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© illjae, 2018