Silent Blue ✦ 2jae (discontinued)

. sixteen .

"Oh?"

"Mhm. Wearing the same clothes, too. He came up to me and asked for another lemonade, so I went and got another soda that he payed another 5000 won for. I found out his name was Jackson Wang. This time, though, he stayed after he finished his soda for about five minutes and talked about how he used to sneak out to the fish market at night and look at the sky. And then he left again.

"This went on for about five months. Five months, five more minutes every day, and I felt like we'd become close as people even if he only met me at the bar."

"Did he wear the same clothes all that time, too?"

"Sure did. I never asked why, though. I had good reason to think he was homeless, you know? Anyway, he told me so many things about how he grew up in China— never specifying the region or anything— and how he learned so much." Jaebum took a deep breath in, and a shaky breath out. Youngjae found himself mimicking this.

"And then one night he told me one thing that he said I'd never forget, and I'd never forgotten it since then. That was the reason I stayed at the bar for so long. He made me love it with only those words. He said, and I quote, 'There's a time they call Silent Blue. I think that's my favourite time of day... When night becomes morning... Is that the end or beginning of a day? It's that moment when one day ends and the next one begins. I think, maybe, I'm inside that Silent Blue right now.'

"I asked him what it meant, and he told me to look outside. Look outside, Youngjae." The younger did as he was told and looked outside of the window at the buildings and street lights across from them, and at the sky that was a brilliant but smoggy blue. "Isn't it odd? When the city is half awake and asleep all at once, it's that calm and innocent time of... what is it?"

"I don't know," Youngjae stated simply.

"Neither do I.

"The night after that, an hour had passed since his usual time to stop by when a man in a suit came in asking for a Jaebum. He told me that Jackson Wang was dead."

"Huh?"

"Never told me why, how, when... Just told me he was dead and left, just like Jackson. I didn't believe him at first, but I realized that I had no reason to believe otherwise when he never came back."
Neither of them said a word for what felt like ages, just sitting with each other and staring at the outside blue that was already lifting.

"It'd spook me, too, if I had a dream like that."

Jaebum chuckled. "No, Youngjae, that was real." Youngjae's eyes widened, and his head lifted from Jaebum's shoulder.

"You- Oh, wow..." He was speechless in such a way that Jaebum found quite charming, and that made his heart speed up just a bit.

"The dream was that some other part of me just drifted away. I haven't had a dream like that since the time when he went away." Jaebum took another deep breath and looked at Youngjae for a moment before looking to the ground. "It's weird now, but I think he was so good for me that the universe decided to take him away."

"Good how?"

"You know, I was really a loser in high school. I didn't talk to anybody, so when I got a job it was good for me to interact with people. But Jackson really talked to me like we'd been friends since we were born. He was like the brother I never had, and that... that was so special to me, to have someone when I was so young and stupid." Jaebum started sniffling. "I trusted that he would be there every night, and he trusted me to have that damn lemon soda.

"I was so scared when he never came by again, Youngjae. I don't want the same thing to happen with you."

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©︎ illjae, 2018

a/n: something was really bugging me about this chapter last night and idk what it is now :(( might do a quick rewrite if i remember