He drove for the first time that night. His cheap perfume was strong and radiated throughout the car. I could see his worried eyes in the rearview mirror and he would occasionally back look at me. I sat on the edge of my seat staring at the reflection of his eyes in the rear-view mirror. His long lashes skimmed his cheeks every time he blinked. I was able to see the tiny freckles that were feathered upon the bridge of his narrow nose. His dark green eyes were steadily fixed on the road ahead of us now and there was an unusual sheen to them.
It was awfully quiet in the car and strangely awkward sitting together in the car. We barely spoke, for I tried to break the ice multiple times. I randomly asked questions about his life or the scenery as we passed, trying to pass time and get to know him better. Over the year or so I've known Kevin, I tried so hard to put distance between us, not because I didn't fancy him but because I really did. I wanted to approach this with caution. I wanted all he cards to play right. I wanted to be in total control of all the possible outcomes for I did not want a repeat of what happened with Harley. Harley broke my heart over and over again. I was finally ready to open my heart back up again and I couldn't afford to embarrass myself around him.
Kevin was not liked by everyone at school. People viewed him as a threat and some saw him as a friendless loser. He would often smoke outside the school jeopardizing his reputation as the school wimp. He wasn't known as the type to smoke but he did it to relieve the stress. His girlfriend broke up with him for no apparent reason and his parents might as well have disowned him. They perceived him as a disappointment. They were academic scholars; his dad being a college professor and his mother being the dean of said college. They didn't like his rebellious behaviour as he would usually come home drunk, with hickeys covering his entire neck strategically placed by random girls at the club. His older brother was a negative influence as well but he was able to maintain a high GPA with his playboy behaviour. His brother, Troy, was know around the neighbourhood, as the fuckboy. He had a new girl in his arms every week and even then a girl was lucky to have lasted that long. Troy would often wind up in motel rooms or in the backseat of some chick's car early in the mornings before taking his walk of shame back home. Troy would also offer his old fake ID to Kevin to encourage his bad habits. By instinct, Kevin would do whatever his brother said. He was just used to it. He wouldn't object, just follow.
He lived with his brother as a result of being kicked by his parents. He hadn't really thought things through when he left his house seeing that he only brought two pairs of underwear and outfits to last him for three days. Kevin never thought things through which was one of the few things I liked about him. He was always a few steps behind the common person. He never thought of consequences or of what his future would be life. After all, he did live by his favourite saying, "YOLO".
I remember the day I met him. He wore an olive green oversized shirt with washed out blue jeans. His hair was perfectly quaffed and he was constantly smiling. I couldn't get enough of his smile. Every time I saw it it gave me goosebumps. His eyes were expressive. I felt as if he was trying to tell me a story each time he stared at me. I was vulnerable to everything of him. His eyes. His smile and dimples. His freckles and even his abnormally large ears.
I remember the day he called my name. He would say it differently with more emphasis on the 'i' instead if the double 'f'.
"Griffin"
I turned around ecstatically. It was time. He finally called my name. I found it cute the way he called me. He stood there leaning on one leg more than the other and with his hair in a messy lump. It looked as if he had just woken up and ran here because he was running late.
"Can you come here for a second, I need your help." He turned around and walked away. He looked back at me as if he expected me to follow. And I did.
He led me to this closet on the second floor. It was quite strange but I kept following. He opened the door to the storage room and cued for me to come in. I was hesitant at first but I went in anyway. He motioned for me to get the box on the top shelf. I reached for it. He grabbed my waist. I retaliated. I turned around and screamed.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I see the way you look at me. I've been watching you."
"I..uh"
"I wanted to tell you that i feel the same way"
Kevin leaned in for a kiss and I didn't budge. I let his lips crash mine. His lips were soft and tasted like strawberry flavoured chapstick. I pulled back. "Kevin, I don't know what to say. I thought you had a girlfriend."
"I do, but that's besides the point", Kevin pushed me against the far back wall of the closet. His hands wrapped under my thighs. He pulled my legs up and over his waist and pushed his hips against mine to keep my up against the wall. He thrust his lips into mine and kissed me. I didn't want this. I wanted to be his love, not a dumb affair he can go brag about to his friends later on. I had to admit, I didn't kind of like it but it wasn't right. I knew I wouldn't like it if my boyfriend were out kissing another man, so why should it be alright for Kevin to be making out with me while his girlfriend thinks he's doing who knows what. I immediately pushed Kevin off me and I tried to regain my balance. I shoved him out of the way and walked out of the closet. I turned around at the foot of the stairs to catch him smiling with lust to say, "I will not be your second choice." With that I ran down the stairs.
