Feeling

It’s been a year since the accident. Life has never been the same.

I was with my mum, we were at home about to leave so we could buy a present for Father’s Day. At this time my dad was at working, working extra hours because my mum doesn’t have a job. Yes, I’m 19 and still living with my parents, and I didn’t go to University, but I don’t see that being a problem when they really need the help. My mum has special needs, and my dad has been struggling to look after her for nearly 30 years. My mum always wanted a daughter, and because of her condition she was unable to have children, so they adopted, and got me.

I must admit living with my parents all this time has definitely had its downsides, for example, when you have a boyfriend, they don’t exactly want to go back to yours when you have to look after your mum the whole time. It also becomes difficult when my mum gets ill, when we are in crisis the man at the butchers always gives me a well-paid part time job to help us out, but I’m not allowed to keep the job for long because he can’t keep paying me so much money for the little work I do. I am looking into a job, but since the accident last year, it’s been very difficult to find work.

Well my dad was at work, and I told my mum that I needed to buy a Father’s Day present. She asked me if we could walk together to the shops, which is over a mile away, I asked her if she was sure she wanted to walk that far, and offered to push her in her wheelchair and if she wanted to walk any of it she could. Overjoyed with the idea of spending time together in the lovely sun outside, my mum slipped on a cardigan and put on her best shoes, her pink crocs.

Everything was fine up to this point. I walked mum to the shops, and I picked out a nice card with a blue Corvette on the front, and mum found a mug that said “#1 Dad!” on it. We paid for the present and card and made our way out of the shop, to my annoyance, while we were in the shop, the road works that hadn’t started yet, had been set up ready for work, causing us to cross the road, when we got back to our house we went to cross the road, I wheeled mum across the road, and the present fell off the back of the chair. ‘Not a problem’ I thought, as I left mum by the pavement and hopped back to grab the gift. I hadn’t seen the car coming my way.

The only thing in my mind was the sound of my mums voice screaming my name and crying with defeat of obviously not being able to get up from her wheelchair, everything was blurring and I was in so much pain. Before I knew it I was in hospital, I must have blacked out because I really don’t remember much from after the accident to getting to hospital. Friends and Family came in to see me, I had flowers, chocolates, weird sweets from my crazy cousins. Once I was more aware of my surroundings the visits became more memorable, I remember seeing my granddad, the father of my mum, coming in and saying “how could you be so careless”. I was slightly offended but I also remember him crying at my side holding my hand.

I remember also my cousin coming in, which is my mums twin sisters daughter. My aunt Caroline (mums twin) didn’t suffer the same as mum, Caroline was a beautiful blonde, tall and slim, with a gorgeous blonde daughter, who has blue eyes, her names Charlotte. I can’t help but be slightly envious of my cousin and aunt, with their gorgeous blonde locks, that are always perfectly curled, and their stunning blue eyes that mesmerise anyone they look at. Then there’s me, stupid adopted me. With my stupid frizzy brown hair and boring brown eyes that never glimmer in the light, never mesmerise anyone, they’re just there. Like they should be really.

More and more family came in to see me, including my two best friends from college, Rhianna and Phil. They’ve been going out since secondary school, they ended up at the same college together after a few transfers and they’re still together now. They walked into my hospital room holding hands and kissing, causing me to mentally vomit everywhere. Eurgh. Finally my dad showed up, with a glass of water and small pack of my favourite chocolate, Galaxy Cookie Crumble. He sat down in the chair beside me and began to talk.

“I understand what you must be going through, and I want you to know that even though I’m working a lot, I constantly think of you, and pray that you get better.”

My dad started to well up as I turned my head to look at him.

“I never want you to forget that I will always be here to look after you, no matter what happens, and even though it has been difficult for you, having never had real parents, you need to know that to me, you’ll always be my real daughter, and I love you.”

I felt a lump in my throat and forced myself to swallow it so I wouldn’t cry.

“Dad, how long have I been in here?”

“About 2 weeks, you keep blacking out, and falling asleep for days on end, the doctors say they aren’t worried, but your mother prays for you every morning and every night”

I remembered at that moment that I had to get better, I couldn’t waste any more time. However after a week I was told I was going to need an operation, which two days later I had, it was the operation really that had caused my fate.