Feeling

Chapter 24 - The big Decision

Dad and I began planning my trip to Canada. We spent three weeks looking online for flights and hotels to stay in, I was confident I'd be staying with Tamarra, however Dad was not sure like I was.

I told the University that I quit, and gave my friends the address of where I would be staying. Dad sorted me a contract on my phone so it would be cheap to contact him and a few days later Dad took me to the airport and when I got there I sent Sam a text. 'Keep an eye on Richard at Uni for me, even though im away i still wanna know what's going on x'

She came back with 'Of course, have an amazing time, dont forget to send me a postcard ;) x'

The flight by myself was very peaceful, and Dad had tracked down Tamarra's home number so I could ring it when I got there. It was a 10 hour flight, and being over night I slept for the majority of it.

I was served with fine foods and drinks, the Canadian airlines were much nicer than British airways. I slept for about 6 hours, and watched some films in the gaps. I managed to find Friends series 10 on there, which i've seen a million times, but who could resist. The man sat next to me was canadian and on his way home to his family, I knew this because he was on the phone to someone, he sounded like he was worried about something so I didn't talk to him.

The flight went by quickly, and when I got to Canada I saw the beautiful sun shining, and gorgeous palm trees. It was like a paradise. And this time Natalie wasn't here to ruin it. I switched my phone on to find two texts, one from dad reading: 'text me when you land. Any trouble let me know x' I replied to him, 'Hey dad, just got here, sun is shining and Tamarra will be picking me up soon. xx'

I also had a text from Richard saying 'Heard about you leaving, Uni's gonna be quiet without you around ;) I'm really sorry about what happened, I hope we can still be friends?xx'

Had he not remembered what he said to me? About never giving me a chance? I wasn't allowed one chance to show him that i might be worthwhile, meaning he wasn't allowed another chance to be my friend. I deserved better than him, as much as my mind told me that he was the only one i ever wanted. I replied to his text with the word 'Ok'.

I phoned Tamarra and within half an hour she was at the airport, which was perfect timing as it took that long for me to get my bag from baggage claim, I watched it go round three times before someone helped me get it off of the rotating nightmare. Tamarra picked me up in her gorgeous silver four-by-four and drove me back to hers. When we got there I saw her gorgeous beach house, with vines running along the walls, and beautiful flowers in the driveway. Canada sure was beautiful, we went inside and Marilyn was the first one to jump on me and say hello, how I had missed her.

Marilyn told me to get changed and withing a couple hours they took me sightseeing and round tons of shops. We spent the rest of the afternooon at the beach. Me and Marilyn sat down on the warm golden sand and she built castles and dug holes. Unfortunately I hadn't taken my 'water wheels' with me, so couldn't go in the sea, but Marilyn pushed me right up to the water's edge, and sat down next to me in a beach chair.

"What's it like?" She askedshyly , in her cute Canadian accent.

"What do you mean?"

"Being in a wheelchair...what's it like? Is it bad?"

I didn't want to let her think about how hurt I was, so I needed to be careful. "It's not horrible. It was at first, I'd forget about it and try to stand up, I'd collapse on the floor, I have to pull myself out of the chair and drag my legs into bed, but now I'm used to it." I started to speak with a lighter tone, to show I was happy. "Sometimes it even has its benefits, with rollercoasters I can go to the front, at University I got to leave classes early sometimes. And now look at where I am, out here with you, this didn't stop me, I just have to think about what I can do, and not what I can't."

Marilyn's smile grew big, and she got up to hug me, I wrapped my arms around her before realising she was sat on my lap. She whispered in my ear, "At least I can sit on your lap for as long as I want, when I sit on mom for too long she tells me her legs are dead and pushes me off!" she let out a giggle, and I kept inside how much that hurt me.

I understand the phrase of someone having 'dead legs', and it hurts to hear it, I remember getting dead legs, I remember what it felt like, when your legs were really heavy and the skin tingled, that's not dead legs though. What I have now is dead legs. Legs with no feeling, at all.

Despite my thoughts about me being in a chair getting stronger thanks to Marilyn, I had a whole two months ahead of me in Canada and was so ready to spend them there. No boys, no trouble, nothing, I had everything ahead of me at this point, nothing was going wrong and I was finally able to be happy, like I wanted to be.

Dad constantly checked on me asking if I was okay, and asking me to come home early but I just couldn't. Canada was a much better place. The villages were beautiful, and everyone was so friendly. Tamarra took me down town to look at all the massive houses, everyone spoke to me, saying good afternoon, and how you, or lovely weather today. I noticed a lot of the houses were for sale, but they were so overpriced. I couldn't believe how expensive houses were. There was one house, it was small and right by the seaside, and looked tiny all squashed up between the large houses. Tamarra said it was the house she lived in when she was a child, but as soon as her mother had another kid they needed to move into a bigger house. We went to the village and I picked up lots of snacks before heading back, we came to town in her car, which we had parked by the small house that we saw.

This time we noticed that the small house was for sale, and jokingly Tamarra suggested that I buy it...

'Why not?' I thought to myself. 'Yeah, I'm gonna move to Canada.'