Till It's Golden Again (The Wanted Fanfiction)

Part 32

I held the coffin on my shoulder. I am still not sure if I could do this. I looked over to look at Nathan, his eyes were full of tears.

It wasn't fair she was too young had hardly lived. Their was so much she never got to do. She never really lived.

We walked through the small chapel. The small cognation stud and watched. Not many people turned up. I aspected this considering people didn't know.

Me and Nathan placed the tiny coffin on the alter. I kissed the top of the wooden box. "Daddy loves you baby girl." I turned with tears in my eyes. I sat next too Isabelle and she sat stone still. She had shown no emotion since. It was almost if you were an onlooker from the outside she didn't care, but if you know her well you knew she had just shut her mind down if not to think of it. But I knew she did. She woke up a couple of times a night screaming as did I.

Today was the day we buried our baby girl. It's been five months since I found Isabelle and Tom in that basement. One month we spent with our beautiful baby girl out of the hospital. She was three months old exactly. When I found her lay dead in her cot. The hospital said it was a cot death and their was nothing we could of done to stop it or prevent it.

Isabelle was put in a chemically induced coma for a month. The doctors said they put her in it so her and the baby could heal probably. They said it was amazing that she hadn't miscarried.

I didn't go to Rob's funeral. As much as I hated what he put Isabelle through I was grateful that the last thing he had done was save my soul mate and my daughter by taking a bullet for them.

Isabelle had been home for about three days when her waters broke. It was three months early. For the first month of our baby's life we weren't allowed to hold our little Lily. Now she's gone.

"We are hear today to celebrate the short life of Lily McGuiness. She gave her parents so much joy in a such a short space of time." The priest said. We didn't want him to say morn as we didn't want to focus on the fact our little girl. "It should be the law that parents shouldn't have to bury their children." I zoned out until I heard the priest call for Isabelle to say a few words. She picked up the churches she needed to help her walk due still to broken ribs.

"I want to thank you all for coming. To celebrate this wonderful little girls life." She then just burst out crying. This was the first time she had cried. "I know that people questioned why we were having a funeral." I ran up and held her in my arms kissing the top of her head in comfort. "Considering how short my little girls life actually was. B....b.....but a funeral iiiiiiiiiis for the livvvvving not the dddddeadddd." She began. I held my hand out for the paper so I could read for her as she had started to sob.

"This little girl was special. I know all parents say their children are special. Perhaps this is untrue in the greater picture of things in the world. But that's not what matters in life it's who you are special too. To quote the Hunger Games, 'Our lives aren't measured in years, but in the lives we touch.' For this little one it couldn't be truer. For what limited time she gave us she saved us. It could of been so easy for me to give up after what happened but she gave both me and Jay something to live for. She gave us a little infinity in a limited amount of days. I am not going to say that I will never forget you because I promised myself I wouldn't make promises I couldn't keep or don't fully understand and one day I will too be dead. Everyone in this room will be dead. Oblivion is unavoidable. One day earth won't exist. But for as long as I'm alive you will always be there even if it's just as a distance memory. I really regret that you weren't able to have your last words or your first words. I will love you for the rest of my life." I was silently crying.

The speech she wrote as so beautiful so Isabelle. When she had shut her self in the attic this was what she was doing. Letting all her feelings on to paper. I slowly lead her to the coffin were she kissed it. We walked back to the benches we were sat on.

Just before we sat. Isabelle kissed the three middle fingers and raised them in the air. Like the three finger salut in the hunger games. I remember her telling me that it means a sign of respect, someone you love and someone you are going to miss. I turned to see Tom, Nathan and Jake do the same. Soon everyone did the same.

The priest said some blessings, then we watched as our daughter was set to be cremated. I was walking beside Isabelle she was hopping along on her crutches.

"Jay can me and you skip the wake?" she said.

"Why?" I asked. I didn't want to go to the pity party I'm sure it will be.

"I don't want their pity. It happened and I want to deal with it just with you."

"Same but I think we have to go. I don't want to attend a pity party too."

"I just want to be alone with you. In bed cuddling with a crap film on."

We got to the end of the path were Isabelle's dad was stud waiting. Everyone was already in cars or taxis. We could feel the flashes of the paparazzi which sickened me at my daughters funeral. The vile humans. The fans have respected our privacy left us alone and not asked to many questions. We have been open with them to a point. They have understood that we don't want to share too much. They also weren't to annoyed when we pushed the tour back a year. We all felt dreadful about that but there was no way we could of physically done it.

"You two look like you need a good nights sleep." He said holding the door of his blue Volkswagen Golf. Isabelle and I had arrived in the funeral car so Isabelle couldn't drive even if she was physically unable too. Which she isn't.

"I know I haven't had one since I was in a coma." Isabelle smiled a small smile. "Does that even count." I hadn't had one since before she went missing.

"You both look like you could sleep for days. Say what I tell them at the wake you were feeling ill so I ordered you two bed as you are still meant to be taking it easy. But before that I'm going to go in the next supermarket and buy you some ice cream. Because I know my little girl and ice cream lessons the pain." He said while diving.

"Thanks dad." Isabelle said quietly. We pulled into the car park of a tesco. I sat with my arm around her shoulders as we waited.

"The speech was beautiful. A risk with the content but I couldn't of put it in any truer way."

"Thanks I thought it would sum up our feelings. Remember that I love you." She smiled with a tear in her eye.

"I love you too twat face."

"That's my line." We both laughed. I looked into her eyes. Her and Lily had the same eyes and same nose. I liked Isabelle's nose it's soft to touch and is perfect not too big or too small. Isabelle's dad came back with a bag then drove us home. We got back and walked in.

"Bed both of you." He handed us the bag then left. We walked into the kitchen to get spoons. I saw the boxes of baby toys clothes and the crib folded up.

" We should donate them to charity or something." Isabelle whispered. "As soon as I am well enough to drive." I nodded. She picked up a stuffed bunny that Siva had got Lily that she loved. "I'm keeping this."

We went upstairs change into more comfy clothes and put on reruns of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and ate the Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream straight from the tub. Then Isabelle fell asleep on cuddled into my side. With the bunny. Looking at her she looked like the nineteen year old I had first fell in love with eleven months ago. We both had matured so much. She was twenty one in a few months, so she could legally drink alcohol in the US, but for the first time since I was eighteen maybe even sixteen I had no desire to get drunk.

I just felt empty but not at the same time. As long as I have Isabelle the pain will lessen. I slowly drifted off to sleep.

AN

So only at most two chapters left and a epilogue. I don't have any plans for a sequel at this moment in time. I have cried writing the last few chapters.