I could hear the wind swaying the tree's leaves back and forth. I closed my eyes. I always thought if I closed my eyes for more than a minute, I'd be a diffrent person, living a diffrent life. I knew that wasent true, and I knew that I'd have to stay being this discusting human with no life in her at all. I sighed, and got up the comfy, yet old couch. That couch was my bestfriend, it made my abstract life seem better than it really was. I could escape reality sleeping on that couch.
I didn't bother picking up my mess, even though my room did seem a little bit messy. I didn't care anymore. What was the point? It's bound to get dirty at some point, and I'll be stuck cleaning the room again. It's better to leave it A big mess, that's something my room and I have in common, we are messy. No one bothers to clean It up. No one cares. Welcome to my beautiful life.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I flinched. Yeah, I'm that ugly, that I flinch. I saw fat, fat everywhere. I didn't even care if my hair was messed up, and the bags under my eyes didn't bother me. It was the tard sticking out in all the possible places their could be. I looked hideous. I am hideous. I wish I could destory all the mirrors in the world so I won't be able to see myself. I smiled at the thought of it. I'm a little insane, yes, but I have my reasons. I walked to my wardrobe and picked out a sweater that use to be "in style." Now it was just an old, wrinkled, faded grey sweater with holes everywhere. Not the best pick if you wanted to impress boys. Pft, that was the least thing I worried about. Boys. I gave up on them a long time ago, they're so hard to impress. None of them look at me, none of them even try to get to know me, thankgod for that. I'm as boring as a stick, no, let me correct that, a stick is much more entertaining than me. Screw boys, I can live without them.
My thoughts were inturrupted by a rather familar noise. My stomach. I grabbed my fist and slammed it against my stomach, not too hard, but hard enough to make the noise stop. I then proceeded to say "I'm not hungry" 5 times. This, Is my daily routine. I'm proud to say I haven't eaten in a few weeks. It's easy, you know? To not eat for a week or two. I can keep this up and lose all the pounds. I don't see any diffrence though, I still look huge.
My mom was downstairs making breakfeast for my dad and brother, I could smell the food from up here. My mouth watered, you have no idea how bad I wanted to run down there and eat everything. I mean, I don't want to eat, I haven't eaten, why give up now? I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. My mom dosent bother calling me down for breakfeast anymore, she knows "I don't eat breakfeast at home because I eat it at school." So, I fooled her. Whocares? I don't lie, but there's a first for everything.
I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs. I walked quickly pass my happy family. I didn't breathe, for the fear of jumping on top of the kitchen table and eating their food. I opened the front door and sat down on the little steps. My dad takes me to school, which means I have to wait till they finish eating so i can go. I put down my backpack and put my head on my legs. It was cold outside, and the wind made it even colder, I liked days like this though, they helped me a lot. The air smelled of dirt and water, I loved the smell.
"You're going to eat at school sweetie?"
I looked over my shoulder, my mom was standing there with bacon in her hand, it was like she was mocking me.
"Yeah, I always do mom." I was afraid she might find out what was going on.
"Why don't you eat here today? They probably give nasty food in your school anyways. I remember in my school they gave us dead animals, it was discusting." She said smiling.
"No, you're making bacon mom. I'm a vegetarian. I think I'd rather eat a salad or something."
My mom stood there with the bacon in her hand, the smell was killing me.
