StarFall (Completed)

Ch. 17 (part 2)

I picked up my feet and ran as fast as they would carry me. I bolted after Miller. Why was he so troubled by what he saw? Could I even blame him though, I'm pretty troubled by it myself.

"Miller, please, slow down." I called out to him as I ran faster. 

He wouldn't listen to me.

"I don't understand what's wrong," I shouted.

Somehow that got his attention. He stopped in a small forest clearing, and faced me. "What's wrong? You don't know what's wrong?" He scoffed, and glared at me.

I stood at least five feet from him. I'd never seen Miller angry before. It filled me with worry. That calm, albeit anxiety-ridden face of his never seemed to hold much in the way of heated emotions.

"Please, talk to me. We're friends aren't we?" I moved closer to him.

He moved back. "Friends? Is that what we are?" His look shot through me.

"I thought we were." My words were quiet.

He shook his head lightly. "After all he did, you forgive him just like that."

"What are you talking about? I didn't forgive him."

"Save it." His voice grew louder. "I saw what you were about to do."

I stepped backwards, caught off guard.

"I couldn't help it. He's different now. I'm different now." I couldn't get my words out. "You have no idea how this change feels, Miller. Bobby can understand me somehow."

His eyes went from despair to devastation. He narrowed his gaze at me. I could feel how intense his anger was.

"After all I did for you? I was there for you when he wasn't. I carried you home, I helped you figure out the curse. I was the one you leaned on after what he did to you." He stopped for a moment, but I knew what he would say next. It built up in a great explosion of tension, and then released. "For crying out loud, Adeline, he raped you. How stupid can you be?" 

I froze. I couldn't believe those words had come out of Miller's mouth. Why was he saying this to me? What was he doing this? Was he trying to make it hurt, trying to make me hurt? My hand acted on its own as it slapped him hard across the face. He stood in place, his face red, and his expression softened.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I fought hard to hold them back. "I didn't realize your friendship came with a price."

I stopped him before he could speak.

"Yeah, he did something horrible to me. I haven't forgotten that. So don't you dare act all high and mighty with me. I told you I couldn't control myself. We're going through something similar, so excuse me for getting caught up in the moment." I snapped at him. "Not too long ago my life was nothing special, it was boring, and normal, and I liked it. Then it all changed when I went to that party...that night destroyed my life. First with Bobby, and then with that stupid queen." I couldn't hold back.

"Adeline, I--"

I moved towards him, enraged. "You don't get to speak. You don't get to say anything about my choices. They're my choices. Good or bad, or ridiculously stupid, they are mine to make." I shook my head at him, and lowered my tone. "You have no idea what's going on inside of me. How messed up I feel. I feel like someone hollowed a part of me out and just took it away. I feel empty, Miller." I stopped for a moment. I lingered in the resonance of my own words. "So I'm not really in the state of mind to make my best choices. But, I don't need you reminding me of that. I need you to be my friend. My grounded, sane, Miller. But I guess I've lost that now too."

He reached out to me, but I pushed him away. Miller called out as I ran off. I couldn't help but let the tears pour out. It felt like everything was getting progressively worse. And I hated every bit of it. I just wanted it all to end. I wanted my life back.

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