Therapy {Luke Hemmings Fanfic}

chapter four

(WARNING: this chapter can he triggering.)

I slowly nodded. "of course."

the funeral went by slowly. I sat up front, listening to various people share memories from Jessica's life.

The pastor stood at the podium again. "would anyone like to say a few words?" Jessica's mom, dad, and I stood up. they went first, leaving the stage in tears after sharing their fondest memories of their daughter.

I approached the microphone, clearing my throat. "Jessica LeeAnne Brooks was my best friend, my sister at heart. we did everything together. there wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't at her house, or she was at mine. we stayed up all night eating junk food at watching movies on netflix. she was my comfort, my rock when I didn't know what to do. I always went to her for all my problems, and she always knew just how to comfort me. I felt safe with her. like nothing could hurt me. but now.. I'm having trouble fending for myself. I feel so vulnerable to the world. I don't feel safe anymore. my rock is gone, my hope is lost. I miss Jess, so much.. I don't know what I'm gonna do.." I pause, choking back tears. "but you know what? I'm gonna do my best to make her proud. I know she's still protecting me, even though she can't be here beside me. I wish there was something I could've said, something I could've done to make her feel less alone. maybe she would still be here. the world is a cruel place, and I wish I could've saved her." tears were now streaming down my face, I could barely talk. I closed me eyes. "I love you Jess." I whispered.

I stumbled back to my seat, putting my head in my hands and sobbing uncontrollably. the funeral was over shortly after, and we went to the cemetery.

her gravesite was beautiful. there were flowers on top of the mound of dirt that now covered her baby-blue casket. there were angel statues, all holding crosses, flowers, bracelets.. the sight took my breath away. I couldn't stop staring.

I went straight up to my room once I got home. I opened Jess' secret box again. my fingertips instantly found the sharp edge of a razor.

I hesitated. was this what I wanted? my only friend was now dead, and I felt utterly and completely alone. after all, what's the worst that could happen now? I couldn't think of anything worse than what I felt right now.

I brought the silver metal up to my wrist. I dragged a faint line and watched a drop of red follow the razor's trail. I made another, with more force this time. I watched the red river flow slowly down my arm and drop onto my bed sheets.