On Thin Ice

Prologue

"Our next skater is four-time returning champion, Kageyama Tobio! For his free program, he'll be skating to Rachmaninoff's Prelude, Opus Twenty-three, Number Five in G minor."

Cheers went up as Kageyama stepped onto the ice and skated to the center. His heart was beating in his ears, and the familiar nerves of competition filled him, even though he'd competed for more than four years. His skates hugged his toes, the familiar ache loosening the growing knot in his stomach slightly. It was the last event. His last performance. This would decide whether he took home his fifth gold medal or not. Everything was riding on this one performance.

From the sidelines, he could see his coach standing there, looking at him with an encouraging smile, and up in the stands sat his competitors, watching him with looks ranging from excitement to resentment. No doubt they wanted to dethrone the proclaimed 'King of the Ice' and take home the gold for themselves. Oikawa Tōru, in particular, was watching Kageyama was a predatory smile that made a drop of sweat run down his forehead.

Stop. There's nothing to worry about, he told himself, closing his eyes and focusing on his breath. Your performances have been flawless so far. You can do this. Letting out a deep exhalation, he opened his eyes, which were once again calm, and raised his left arm, taking his beginning position. As the music began to play, he pushed off, spinning in a tight circle with his back parallel to the ice, one arm over his chest and the other trailing against the cold surface below before straightening into a gliding position.

"Beautiful cantilever, and a smooth transition into a bracket turn. Here comes his first jump, a triple salchow."

Using his knees, Kageyama launched himself up and landed on the back outside edge of his left skate, the familiar rush that came with jumps sending his blood rushing through his ears. "Flawless jump, with an arm raised for added points. Now into a lovely spread eagle."

Here comes the next jump. Take off... now. He jumped up, spun, and landed safely, earning a deafening roar of applause. "He's landed his first quad. He has six planned for the program. Now into a flying sit spin. Amazing speed and control. Here comes his second quad."

Spinning out into a standing position, Kageyama branched off into a rocker turn and prepared for his next jump. As he spun once, he caught sight of Oikawa's still-smiling face, staring at him from the crowd. A jolt went through him, and he hesitated for a split second. Don't let him get to you. Jump. You're going to miss the mark! Jump!

He was in the air before he knew it, rotating once, twice, three times. One more and he would land. One more and he could forget about Oikawa and finish his program. One more. The rotation completed; he was heading back to the ground. But as Kageyama's foot hit the ice, it buckled underneath him and with the sound of a stick snapping, the back of his head hit the ice and the world went black to the dying sound of frenzied cheering.

❄ ❄ ❄

"In recent news, four-time World Championship gold medalist Kageyama Tobio took a bad fall during his last free skate of the Grand Prix Final, resulting in a severe ankle break that cost him what could've been his consecutive fifth victory. He's currently staying at a local hospital in Barcelona, and we await further news on his recovery.

"In his place, fellow gold medalist Oikawa Tōru took first, while Kenma Kozume took second, and Tsukishima Kei took third. Oikawa says he wishes for skater Kageyama to make a full recovery and return to battle and attempt to win back his title in next year's Grand-"

"Turn that off already, would you?" Kageyama's harsh voice startled his coach, Daichi, who clicked off the television and turned to him from his spot in the chair beside his bed. "Ah, Tobio, I didn't know you were awake. How are you feeling?"

Kageyama crossed his arms and turned to stare at the door with a scowl. "I messed up a jump I've never had problems landing before, resulting in a severe injury and a loss in a skating competition I've successfully won four years in a row, giving first place to my long-time rival, which I'm just now hearing about on a news station," he said dryly. "How do you think I'm feeling?"

His injury didn't hurt nearly as much as the blow to his pride hearing that Oikawa had won in his place. Kageyama prided himself on his ability to win, and now that that had been taken from him... he felt empty. Not angry or sad; just empty. The injury to his ankle wasn't one that would heal quickly, and it would no doubt take him months to rehabilitate it enough to get back on the ice. Was he really expected to cope with that?

He had worked hard all his life to get to the point he was now, and it had all been smashed to pieces by a single misplaced landing. His talent would remain, but after the months of bedrest the ankle would no doubt demand, his body would be in the worst shape it had ever been in. He'd have to work like a dog just to get back into the shape he was in now. Was it worth it?

"Haha, you've got a point." Daichi laughed and scratched at his neck sheepishly. "But I talked to the doctors, and they said your injury isn't as bad as they thought. You should be able to get back to skating with just two months of rest and a bit of physical therapy. Isn't that great?"

Kageyama didn't look at him, annoyed by the hope in his voice. He wasn't sure about anything at the moment. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe he wasn't meant to go back to skating. Maybe life wanted him to choose another path. There were a lot of 'maybe's. He was so conflicted, it almost hurt, like a twisted feeling deep in his chest.

"Daichi..." He paused, feeling his stomach churn as if he were going to be sick. "I'm not sure..."

"Not sure about what?" Daichi asked, still smiling, still looking optimistic. "If you're worried about the recovery process, I've already taken care of everything. I scheduled your physical therapy sessions, and I called your parents and booked you a flight home on your hospital release date. Everything's settled."

"Daichi," Kageyama said again, and there must've been something in his voice that conveyed how he was feeling, because Daichi's smile faded and he stared at Kageyama seriously and somberly for the first time. "What is it? Don't tell me you're letting Oikawa get to you? He only won because you-"

"That's not it," he cut him off sharply. "I'm not coming back, alright?!" His fists clenched in the fabric of his sheets as Daichi's stunned silence filled the room, taut like a bowstring. "I'm done with skating..." he continued quietly, feeling like a knife was being inserted right between his ribs. Even though he'd made his decision, skating was his life: it wouldn't be that easy to give up.

He forced out the next sentence. "I'm retiring."

"What?!" Daichi half-stood from his chair, face rotating from shock to anger. "Tobio, you can't be serious! What; you missed one jump and now you're ready to quit for good? This isn't like you at all!" He grabbed Kageyama by the forearms, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Don't give up just because of a little injury! The Kageyama Tobio I know-the one who loves skating with all he's worth-would never do that!"

"I've made my decision," Kageyama answered bitterly, turning away and ignoring the stinging in his eyes. "You're not going to change my mind. You can tell the news channels tomorrow morning."

Daichi stood there, staring at him angrily for several seconds, clenching and unclenching his fists, dark eyes filled with a mix of emotions. Finally, he turned away, the muscles in his back taut as he strode towards the door. "Fine. Have it your way." He paused with his hand on the handle and shot a harsh glance back at him. "But I'm telling you now; I know how this feels, and if you don't get back onto the ice now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

With those parting words, he left, slamming the door behind him, causing the flowers on Kageyama's side-table to rustle in their vase, shedding a few colorful petals to the table surface below. He lay back and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the tight feeling in his chest. I won't change my mind, he repeated silently. I've had my time in the spotlight. This is fate. I'm done with skating.

Even though he thought it with finality, as he tried to drift off to sleep, they filled his head and swirled around and around, pestering him like the buzzing of irritating flies. He could only hope he wouldn't come to regret his decision like Daichi had said.

If he changed his mind in the future, the ice might not be there waiting for him.