Calamitude Jackson

chap. 4

When he shuts the door I lean closer to my dad and try to make my words come across as clearly as I can, "You're not really shipping me off are you? I mean, sure. I stabbed the kid but that was debateably self defense. And maybe I am a little weird.

"I don't go fooling around like all the other rich boys my age, but that doesn't mean you should let them take me away," he's stil puffing away at his cigar and looking away, but I know he's listening to every word I'm saying. "Please, I'm begging you, just let me stay here. I promise I'll act the way you want me too."

"Dammit, Cal!" I jump when he slams the cigar into a table, "Stop lying through your teeth. Do you think this is because you're a little weird? That maybe it's because you don't have any friends or that you stay inside a little too much?"

I don't answer.

"Those are the pettiest reasons to send your blood to a reforment school. I really thought you'd come clean and tell me what you've been doing."

What's he going on about? What does he know?

"No? You're not even going to try being honest? By good god, Cal. This is why I'm sending you to the crazy school for kids who go around stabbing people."

"I'm not a psychopath! That was an accident. And I know you know that!"

"Maybe, Cal, maybe. But that isn't the principal reason. That was just the final shove that sent this whole circus off."

"What are you talking about?!"

"The animals, Cal! The animals!"

My heart dropped.

No. Not that. I thought I had gotten rid of them.

"Ah! I see you know what I'm talking about now. Don't think I haven't noticed you slipping out of the house when you've said you're going up to bed because you were feeling 'sick'. I didn't think much at the time because I thought you were out doing what teenagers do, living a little. But how I was wrong." I sit, listening in stunned silence as my father relays my sins.

"A maid found you tearing them open and gutting them. She said you had their organs strewn everywhere, intestines staining the wooden table."

I remember that maid, she promised she wouldn't tell but Kajac hadn't believed her so he had made me hold the bloodied knife to her throat and make her swear not to tell anyone.

I hadn't slept that night.

Not because of the animals though. That hadn't been me. Somehow Kajac had convinced me to do it to those poor rabbits and squirrels. He said it'd be fun. I didn't want to but he said it would be like a self led anatomy class and we were only going to do it for the educational purposes.

But after we had caught the small animals with those homemade traps, it wasn't anything like Kajac said it would be. I don't remember much of what actually happened but Kajac told me I had just totally ripped their tiny bodies apart while they were still alive. I only remember standing over the mess with blood on my face and tears in my eyes and only the terrible ache of guilt to show for it.

Kajac explained in great gory detail how I had scattered their viscera everywhere in the tiny shed my father owned behind the house. I didn't believe him, but after really taking a look around me, I couldn't tell myself that I hadn't had something to do with it. I also couldn't lie to myself and pretend it had been an accident, not by how much blood their was on the floor and table, even some of it on the ceiling.

That was when the maid had walked in. She had been looking for a broom because the ones in the house had all gone missing. That had also been me. I used the wooden and plastic brooms to make my traps.