They say if life gives you lemons make lemonade? First off who the hell comes up with this stuff, some chinese fortune cookie writer who spits out a fortune every minute? Why not limes or coconuts? Now if life gives you lemons it's all about what you choose to do with those damn lemons. For instance you give a transvestite hooker lemons what are they gonna do? There gonna stick those damn lemons in there bra to try and make there boobs look bigger! You give a man who isn't comfortable with the size of his dick lemons and he's gonna shove those lemons right down his damn pants!. You give a hippie lemons there going to say screw lemonade I'm gonna take the seeds from those lemons and plant them so I can grow more lemons and then eat the lemons I have first off probably because I'm high on pot and have the munchies and because it's healthier than all the sugar in lemonade, Unless you happened to give those lemons to a hippie at woodstock 1969 then they would have been tripped out on lsd or some psychidelic and then they would have made some connection deep connection to the lemon or wondered why is a lemon trying to eat my hand?!. Speaking of getting high try giving lemons to a bunch of addicts who are using, nevermind those lemons or making lemonade they dont care they were given to them by life for a reason there going to try and sell those lemons to get money to get more drugs they'll try to tell you how special those lemons are to get you to pay more and maybe even claim there magical or laced with some kind of drug, they'll be the ones who sold the lemons to the transvestite hookers, heck if you get a smart addict they'll ask you to hold those lemons for a second while they steal all of your money or mug you! Unless of course there about to snort a line of something then they'll think hey would some lemon juice make what I'm snorting disolve better so I'll get higher I guess I'll find out. Now you give an addict who's using but is sober at the moment because they have to take a piss test lemons and that M.Fer is gonna look at those lemons and think I wonder if I squeezed all the juice out of them could I pass it off as urine and say if questioned say I drank a lot of lemonade? What a freakin genius I am I'm going to try doing that!. But now if you give an alcoholic who is trying to hide the fact that they're drinking lemons there going to take those lemons and made lemonade to add alcohol into it. Now if you get a full blown drunk who's totally wasted and give them lemons there gonna look at those lemons and wonder what the hell is this? A lemon what is that? I'm to drunk to know, I wonder if it would make my booze taste any better? I'll drop it in the bottle and see, Oh shit the rest of my booze spilled out and then they'll black out and wake up next to a buch of damn lemons and wonder what the hell did I do last night!? I sure hope thats my piss thats on me!. Addicts and alcholics some of the smartest people out there, Now you give a person who was once using or drinking but is now sober lemons depending on how long they've been sober they may think oh okay I'll just make lemonade isn't that what normal people would do? but if they've been clean over a year they'll say I'm gonna take those seeds and plant them so I can watch them grow just like me in my recovery and then use those lemons to add some flavor to my water. Now if you try giving an very intellegant kid lemons they're going to take those lemons and make a lemonade stand and then when they go to look at how much they made they'll realize that they would have to sell that lemonade for a lot more than they did to make it worth it. Unless that kid happens to be a republican then they'll jack up the price buy all the lemons they can get there hands on figure out how to save up and grow up to start a greedy lemonade cooperation, screw over there workers and refuse to sell lemonade to homosexuals. Now if you give a lesbian or a horny inmature guy lemons they're gonna say hey I should try using these lemons to make my girlfriends vagina taste better, But now if you try to give gay guys lemons there going to say whats up with lemonade? I want strawberries and cream. If you gave lemons to a mime it would study making lemonade and figure out how to mime making lemonade out of lemons, you give a clown lemonade and they'll learn how to juggle it but now a magician on the other hand would wonder what the heck they're suppose to do with lemons they're tricks are rigged ordinary lemons won't disappear. If you give a person with anger issues lemons they're going to be pissed off and scream at the lemons possibly throwing at something or smashing them into the ground but give a negative person lemons and they'll blaming everything on the fact that they were given those damn lemons and wonder why they were chosen to get lemons and that everyone elses lemons must have been better then they'res they'll sulk in a lemon depression and become sour people. Now if you give a schizophrenic lemons there going to wonder why are they being lemons is this some kind of goverment cia test? are there hidden camera's in them? is there some way to get high off lemons I don't know about am I being tested?! Why the hell is this lemon talking to me it's sitanic make the lemon get out of my head oh no the lemon morphed into pac man and I'm blinky!. If you give a kind person lemons they are probably end up giving those lemons to a homeless person and they're going to go sell those lemons to get something they can actually eat because to them what good is it going to do to carry around a bunch of damn lemons?. Now see your average everyday boring person will just make lemonade and go on with they're life but this goes to show just how much of the population is not average as a matter of fact average should considered more like the one percent who is considered this thing called normal that doesn't exist and now that we've all been given a lovely bunch of lemons what will you choose to do with yours will you descover that you secrety want to be a transvestite hooker or that maybe you have a drug problem?. Well I hope you learned something about yourself and never underestimate the power and impact a lemon could have on your life again, all hail to the lemons the sourest fruit of them all!
