Focus

Chapter One

I can't remember how it happened, I can't remember why it happened, I can't remember who they were, all I can remember is when it happened. It was the day after my birthday, September 18th, 2011. I remember bits and pieces, but it's mostly all a blur. My aunty says I have PTSD and amnesia or something, she says that its normal that I don't remember, but I want to remember, I want to know how it happened, I want to know why it happened, and I want to know who it was. The doctor's that Aunty Karen took me to have said that, my mind chooses not to remember the accident because I don't want it to be true, and that may be the case, but I want to know the unknown, I want to know why I can't remember the accident.
It's now seven years later, I am fifteen years old and I live with my Aunty Karen and her son Jackson, who is ten. Aunty Karen is roughly 5'4, she has long brown hair that I love to braid, and she has dark exotic brown eyes just like Jackson's. Jackson is fairly tall for his age, he is around 5'2, he has ashy blond hair that reminds me of mine, and dark brown eyes, like Aunty Karen's. Jackson and Aunty Karen are so much alike with their personalities, they are both fun to be around, they both are constantly happy and in an amazing mood, I can talk to either of them about anything because they are always there to listen. Jackson and I go to the same school, North Lee State High School, we normally walk to school together, however today Jackson has decided that he is old enough to take the bus, so I am now walking to school alone. My school is like most schools, there is a social hierarchy which includes, the jocks, which consists of all the guys who are on the lacrosse team, the mean girls which consists of all the girls who care more about gossiping and hooking up with guys than they do their grades, the geeks and nerds who are always keen to learn which I admire, the wannabes who are all wanting to be popular and who will do absolutely anything to be considered 'cool', and then, all the way at the very bottom of the social hierarchy, is me. I sit at lunch by myself in the corner and watch the rush of students of all ages surrounding me, I see them laughing in their groups, girls whispering in each other's ears and gossiping, guys in a circle gawking at the girls, and the nerds all in a huddle working on a science project or something. I don't have any friends, and I like it that way, I don't have anyone that I need to please and I don't have to feel the pressures of looking and sounding my best, because nobody cares.
People use to always say how sorry they were and try and give me sympathy for what happened but I never listened, I didn't want to have to be reminded that I can't remember, most people just let it go when I ignore them, but I remember this one time, about two years ago, when a guy in my grade came up to me and asked me if I am alright with everything, and I snapped, because it was on the 'anniversary', as Aunty Karen put it, that he asked. I started screaming and yelling, but the saddest part is, I didn't even know why. I have never done it before when somebody has asked me, but I did that time. After the teachers heard about my little 'display of erratic behaviour' I was made to see the school counsellor as well as the psychologist that I had already been seeing since the accident every day, and I had to apologise in front of my class for the way I acted.
It is now the end of the day and I am heading to my locker to get my bag, when I see somebody leaning their head on my locker facing it, I know from their build, that is was a guy, so I continued walking until I was standing directly behind him. I tapped him on the shoulder, but he didn't budge.
"Excuse me, could you please move, you are blocking my locker," I asked in the sweetest voice, trying to be as nice as I could.
He turned around, and all the ideas of me being nice went away, because it was him, it was the guy that made me snap two years ago, the guy who made me look crazy, it was Damien. He looked a bit different since we last talked, he was much taller, he has brown hair which was shaved on the sides with it spiked on top, bright green eyes, and small freckles that went across his nose, faintly. Anyway, even though, I was the one who snapped, he should not have even bothered with such a stupid question, especially considering that it was the anniversary of the accident, that he asked me.
"Oh, look it's the crazy chick, umm uhh, what's your name again, ummm, oh that's it, Rose, right?" he said in a mocking tone.
"You know that's not my name, we have known each other since we were four Damien, its Rosamay," I replied with utter disgust laced in my voice.
"Oh yeah that's right, sorry I didn't remember," Damien laughed sarcastically.
"Just please move out of my way and I'll be out of your hair," I said, trying to ignore what he said and the way he's looking at me, or should I say looking down on me because of how short I am and how tall he is.
"Gladly, I'll see you around Rose," he said, and quickly left before I could say something else. Again, I ignored what he said and opened my locker, and grabbed my bag. I walked out the school gates and was so happy that it was the weekend, and I could go home and read, which is what I normally spend my afternoons and weekends doing.
As I walk home, I couldn't help but feel as though there was somebody following me, I kept looking behind me to see what it was, but every time I would turn around, there would be nothing there. I continued my pace but I couldn't shake the feeling of somebody following me, so I quickened my pace, until I could see my house.
I opened the front door, and soon realised that I would be home alone for majority of the night because, Aunty Karen would be at the hospital working and Jackson is staying at a friend's house. Even though I love being by myself, I hate being alone at night, especially when I can't defend myself. I ran up to my room, which was upstairs at the end of the hall, to get changed and do my homework. My room is quite large with a double bed, dresser, bedside tables on either side of my bed, a desk with books along the wall, shelves with more books, a walk-in robe, and an ensuite. I love my room because I have privacy, Aunty Karen and Jackson have always respected my privacy, which I love them for. However, sometimes I feel so lonely, that's why I read so much, because I can connect with the characters in my books, and it helps pass the time.
After finishing my homework, I decide to go downstairs and make myself some dinner. I'm not that hungry, so I just make some two-minute chicken noodles. As I head to the stairs to go back to my room, I hear a knock at the front door, I all of a sudden start to feel really scared and anxious.