Tears of Change

01

You

The scent of new paper and ink always had a way of calming my nerves. As I navigated through the towering shelves of the bookstore, my eyes scanned the brightly colored spines of the latest releases.

I've always been a sucker for fantasy because it transports you to a world far away from the mundane frustrations of reality.

Suddenly, my eyes lit up. There it was, tucked between two thick hardcovers. It's the physical copy of my favorite story from Wattpad. Seeing it in print felt different, more real.

Without hesitation, I grabbed two copies. One was for my personal collection, and the other was a surprise for Abby. She wasn't as much of a bookworm as I was, but I knew she'd appreciate the gesture or at least, she'd pretend to so I wouldn't nag her.

I glanced down at my wristwatch. 5:30 PM.

Hindi pa ako nag-lunch kaya nakaramdam na agad ako ng gutom. Gusto ko sanang kumain sa fast food dito sa loob ng mall pero papunta na rin naman dito si Abby. And knowing her, she'd want to eat somewhere aesthetic or vibey.

Inubos ko ang oras sa paglilibot dito sa mall. I bought so many books. Well, reading is my only hobby that keeps me sane when I'm bored or when the silence of my condo becomes too loud.

Abby texted me na sabay na lang kaming mag-dinner at papunta na siya dito.

"Tanya!" malakas na sigaw ni Abby at sinalubong ako sa escalator.

"Nakaka-stress talaga!" agad na reklamo niya.

"Ano na namang problema mo?"

"Kasi naman! The mass gathering I spent weeks preparing for? Canceled! Just like that! Nakakagigil, Tanya! All that effort for nothing," she whined, stomping her foot like a child.

I shrugged my shoulders at tinapik ang balikat niya.

"By the way, I bought a book for you pero mamaya ko lang ibibigay pagdating natin sa condo ko."

"Pumunta ako dito para dumiretso na tayo pero babalik ka pa pala sa condo mo? Nakakagigil ka rin 'no?" she complained while shaking her head.

"Anong gusto mong gawin ko? Bitbitin ko ang mga 'to all the time?"

"Duh, whatever."

The ride to my condo was filled with Abby's usual chatter. She was driving her own car—a sleek model she had bought a year ago. I felt a tiny pang of envy, but mostly just pride for her. Her parents constantly sent her money from abroad, and unlike most people, she actually saved a good chunk of it.

I, on the other hand, was still in the middle of building my savings. It wasn't that I didn't have money. My father sent me a monthly allowance that most people would dream of. But I never touched it. The bank account where he deposited the money remained untouched, the balance growing larger with every passing month.

Pero hanggang ngayon, wala pa talaga akong balak na gamitin ang perang bigay niya. Kapag kasi ginamit ko 'yon, para na ring tinanggap ko na si Papa at napatawad ko na. Still, there were moments of weakness when I looked at my small apartment and wondered if I should just give in. Kaya baka nga ay bigla ko na lang 'yon magamit.

Pagkatapos kong ilagay sa loob ng unit ang mga pinamili ko ay diretso akong bumaba at pumasok pabalik sa sasakyan niya.

We ended up going to a resto near the bar that Abby wanted to drag me to. Alam ko namang gusto niya lang na doon kami mag-dinner para pagkatapos ay sa malapit na bar ang sunod na punta namin.