Forbidden

Black Heart of the Universe.

Luke jabbed the numbers for the code to the bridge com. Luck was with him as his call was answered by Leia herself.

She must have recognized his com number as she said, “Luke, what is it?”

“Vader.”

“What?”

“He’s coming, Leia. Here. Now. The ships have to get away immediately.”

“How do you know, Luke?”

“I ... I just know, Leia. Please trust me on this. Coordinate with the other ships for a destination point.”
There was a pause. Luke could hear her breathing. He dressed during the silence, sliding on the black pants, white under shirt and black jacket over it. His leather boots were next. They, too, were black and form-fitting and reached to just below his knees. He clipped his newly built light saber to his belt before she spoke again.

“All right. I trust you, Luke. The next logical place for us to go--”

“Don’t tell me!”

“What ... why?”

“Just ... don’t. I won’t be coming with you. I need to get my X-Wing and Artoo ready.”

“Luke! What is going on?”

He ran his hands down the front of his jacket, smoothing out invisible wrinkles. His hands only shook slightly. “I ... I can’t explain anything more, Leia. Get these ships out of here.”

He turned off the com, cast one more look around the room, knowing he would never be coming back, turned and practically ran out the door. He hardly saw the people he passed in the hallways as he went to the hanger bay. The familiar form of the Millennium Falcon caused him to pause for just a moment at the entrance to the hanger bay, a lump in his throat, before he turned to where his X-Wing was located. 'I do this for them. It’s not safe for me to be near my friends any more.' 

Leia was nothing if not efficient. She had called down to the hanger bay for them to ready Luke’s ship. Artoo was being lifted into his slot as Luke got to the side of the X-Wing. Leia had been very efficient in multiple ways, Luke realized, when a hand landed on his shoulder, a furry hand. Luke turned with a small smile to see Chewie and Han behind him.

“Kid, where do you think you’re going?” Han asked, his right eyebrow quirked up and hands on his hips.

'Leia readies my ship for me to leave while at the same time readying Han and Chewie to stop me.' It made Luke smile then frown to think of their caring for him. 'I can’t risk them any more. I must go away, far away.' Over Han’s shoulder, Luke saw Leia enter the hanger bay, a determined frown marring her elfin features. Her small legs brought her over to him faster than he thought possible.

“He’s leaving us, Han. And he isn’t planning on coming back, are you, Luke?” Leia’s intuition was right on the mark. Her brow was furrowed and her lips were pressed in a tight white line as she regarded Luke with cool eyes.

“I have to go, Leia.”

“You give the Rebellion hope, Luke. You’re a symbol of far more than you know. Without you ...” Leia’s voice faded away.

“Kid, she’s right. You’re the heart of the Rebellion.” Han’s eyes narrowed in concern.

Luke sighed and scrubbed his forehead with his real hand. “No, I’m a vulnerability to the Rebellion. Vader can communicate with me by thought ... through the Force. And he’s able to do more than that. Tonight he was able to see through my eyes and locate us. No one is safe around me. I must go! Don’t you see?”

Leia’s brown eyes went wide and a slight grasp came out of her lips. Han went white. Chewie roared in distress. Ever since Bespin their fear and hate of Vader had grown. A panicked tick began at Han’s right eye. Leia rubbed her hands together again and again. They have to let me go. They can’t wish to risk another unplanned encounter with the Dark Lord. If only I could be so sure of my own feelings. I want to see him more than anything yet I want to flee.

Han wiped his palms down the front of his pants, “Can’t you ... block him or something?”

“No ... not entirely, he’s too powerful and I’m ... I’m vulnerable to him. Don’t ask me anything more. There’s no time. You have to get those ships away, Leia.”

“They all ready are. The Encounter will be the last to go,” Leia said. “But we’re not leaving without you.”

“You must! It’s not safe for me to stay with you ... with anyone I care about. Anywhere I am ... he will come ... he will be able to find me.”

Leia worried her bottom lip with her teeth, her eyes focused inward as she tried to find a solution. “There’s something you haven’t thought of, Luke,” she said softly.

“What?”

“As much as you are a ... threat ... to us, to the Rebellion, if you stay, you may very well be a greater threat if you’re on your own. You’ll be more vulnerable to being caught by the Empire. And Force knows ... the universe can’t survive another Dark Jedi.”

Luke could feel time running out as Leia spoke. He swore he heard the rasp of Vader’s respirator in his ears and fought the urge to turn around and look for the imposing black figure that made Luke’s heart race with conflicting emotions.

“I won’t be turned, Leia. And besides ... turning me isn’t in Lord Vader’s plans anymore,” Luke answered her, realizing that he believed what Vader had said earlier.

Leia’s voice was sharp, the princess, leader of the Rebellion, not the softer tones of Luke’s friend. “What exactly are his plans, Luke?”

“Yeah, kid, he’s got to want to turn you to the Dark Side. I mean, Sith, isn’t that what you told us that Old Ben and your other teacher warned you about?” Han offered, his handsome face pained.

“They said many things that aren’t ... true.” Luke quashed the urge to rage against his two teachers. Or manipulators. Sending me to kill my own father unawares as if I could have survived that act. I would have known it was him the moment my light saber passed into his flesh, but by then it would have been too late. “Plus while you’re right that I could be captured ... at least if I was, I would be the only one.”

“You won’t let us convince you to stay, will you, Luke?” Leia’s eyes filled with tears.

“I can’t allow myself to be swayed, Leia.”

Luke watched as Han’s protective arms went around her shoulders to comfort her. The memory of being embraced through the Force by his father like Han was embracing Leia sent a shiver of desire and regret through him. 'Not for me. Such joy and comfort is not for me.'

“I can’t delay any longer,” Luke said and began to climb into the cockpit of the X-Wing. He felt a gentle hand on the back of his calf. He looked over his shoulder and down.

Leia’s lower lip trembled, but she put on a brave face as she always had. “We will see you again, Luke. We will make it safe for you to come back to us. Even if I have to be the one to put a blaster bolt in Vader’s black heart myself.”

Luke didn’t trust himself to speak for fear of what might come out. 'He’s my father, Leia, I don’t want him dead. Or would he say: You know how you feel about Han, well, I feel that way about Vader ... only more.' Shoving down the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble up, he just nodded and quickly ascended the ladder and slid into the cockpit.

“May the Force be with you!” Han called that familiar greeting and Luke gave him a smile then turned his eyes away from his friends for what he believed would be the last time.

Artoo queried Luke as soon as the canopy came down about their destination.

“Dagobah, Artoo,” Luke responded as he strapped on his helmet.

Luke prayed that Yoda would not pass into the Force until he found out what the Jedi Master needed him to do. But perhaps even then Yoda would appear to him as Ben had or at least whisper to him in times of trouble. A stab of loneliness hit him as he realized that soon yet another Force user would be gone from the universe. 'And there are so few of us as there is. Because of Vader. My father.'

The blackness of space filled his vision as the X-Wing rushed from the hanger of the Encounter. He watched as the starship streaked away from him into hyperspace, sending a mental goodbye to Leia, Han and Chewie. The Encounter’s departure had been just in time. The pie-shaped mass of the Executor, Vader’s ship, appeared not too far from where the rebel ship had been. His father’s Star Destroyer carved its way through space rather than flew. It was elegant and deadly, just like Vader.

Luke felt a tiny push against his mind as if Vader was knocking, seeing if anyone was home, but he resisted the intrusion this time. Artoo was already loading the coordinates for Dagobah into the NAV computer. He needed to get away from his father and he needed all of his mind to do it. Yet he felt a frisson of desire and dread at his father’s nearness. Now that he’d had the dream again Luke could no longer deny that Vader, his dark lord father, raised needs in him he thought long dead. 'I may not be able to stop these feelings but I will not give into them. It is all I have.' Luke was snapped out of his reverie when the X-Wing gave a jolt. He wondered if he was caught in the Executor’s tractor beam. He throttled the ship full forward, but nothing happened.

“Artoo, what’s wrong with the ship?”

When Luke felt his X-Wing begin to pivot so that the nose of his craft was pointed towards the planet instead of out into space, he felt the first stirrings of alarm. The ship was perfectly operational, but he was not in control of it. Something had taken over and it was not as crude as a tractor beam. Artoo gave a frightened wail.

“It’ll be okay, R2. Just keep monitoring the ship’s systems. We’ll get out of this yet.’

Luke reached out with his Force senses to see if he could determine what was pulling them towards the planet’s surface. He was slammed back into his pilot’s seat by a swirl of Light and Dark Side energy. Artoo queried if he was all right.

“Yeah, thanks R2,” Luke said. He was grateful that his helmet absorbed most of the blow his head took. 'How can the energy be both from the Light and Dark Sides at the same time? Who could wield the Force like that?'

Luke reached out again and touched the vortex of energy that was the cause of his ship’s behavior. He traced it back to the planet’s surface, but he could find no Force user behind the phenomena. He cut off contact with the energy when he felt it reach towards his mind. Just for moment before contact was totally lost he thought he heard a sound, like the shifting of cloth against cloth, a dry restless sound. Luke held the useless flight stick tighter in his hand. What in the Force is down there? And what does it want with me?

The X-Wing’s descent began to increase and the planet filled most of the ship’s plastiglass canopy too quickly for Luke’s comfort. Artoo was frantically relaying to him all it knew about the planet’s surface, which it looked like they were going to be visiting whether they wanted to or not. The air was breathable and there appeared to be large masses of life forms, but like Dagobah, nothing that resembled communities, just tons and tons of life.

“Artoo, what’s the name of this world?”

Artoo came back with the answer, Radek et Ghul al’Shere, or translated into the native tongue of the explorer who first found it: Black Heart of the Universe.

“Well, isn’t that cheery,” Luke mumbled underneath his breath.

Artoo answered back that the name might not be a name at all … but a warning instead. Luke snorted. A warning received well too late so it seems.

Luke twisted his head to see the Executor. He pressed one hand against the canopy directly over where a sliver of the Star Destroyer was still visible. There was no doubt in his mind that he needed help and for once the thought of Vader coming to get him was more than welcome.

'Father!'

'Child, be calm. I am with you.'

Luke steadied his breathing and forced calmness upon himself like a cloak before he reached for his father’s mind again.

'Something or someone using the Force is pulling my ship down to the planet.'

'Yes, young one, so I see and sense. The tractor beam of the Executor cannot stop your descent.'

Luke winced as he felt his father’s displeasure with the tractor beam’s technician. He wondered if the man were dead due to his failure to help Luke.

'I will be following you down to the planet, young one. I am on my way to the hangar bay now. Remain with your craft when you land. Do not go off on your own.'

Luke smiled at Vader’s tone of parental admonishment. He felt a bit like a child in a store being told by their parent not to wander off. He almost laughed at the ridiculousness at that thought. Did the Dark Lord ever do anything so pedestrian as shop?

'I won’t go anywhere, Father.'

'We will investigate this phenomenon together. Do not worry. You are never alone so long as I exist.'

Luke felt his chest fill with warmth at his father’s words. The fear that had eaten at the edges of his thoughts fell away. He was grateful for Vader’s presence and great power. Luke had no doubt that whatever lurked on the planet below would be no match for the Dark Lord. 'Not that I’m exactly helpless myself, but still … it would be good to have him at my back.' On a whim, he sent those feelings to Vader and was rewarded with a wave of pleasure, warmth and comfort from his father.

Luke allowed himself to just bathe in those feelings. His father was the only one that felt so much for him, that gave him so much in terms of emotional connection. Luke had always attributed the lack of emotional closeness he had with people to his strangeness, that they didn’t want to get near him even if he longed to be near them. Then he attributed his strangeness to his ability to wield the Force, but even Ben and Yoda, both Force users themselves and obviously not afraid of such ability, had held him away from them as if to get too close was to become … contaminated. Only his father was unafraid of being with him … truly with him. Even when he knew the worst of Luke.

Luke left those thoughts to note that the X-Wing was skimming through the planet’s atmosphere. Luke could see a forest’s dark green and gold canopy below him. The thickness of the foliage convinced him that very little light would be able to reach the forest’s floor. Anything could exist down there … in the dark. The ship proceeded to make a controlled curve to the right, aiming the ship for what appeared to be a clearing surrounding a large stone structure that jutted out of the ground like a row of broken teeth.

The X-Wing landed gently on the ground at the base of a great staircase that led into the structure. Luke’s gaze drifted across the strange architecture of the building. It seemed to twist and turn at unnatural angles making him dizzy. The material it was made out of appeared to be a dull stone, the color of dried powdery blood.

'Father, I’ve landed. There doesn’t appear to be anyone near by. It feels … deserted … empty.'

'That may be how it seems but that is not how it necessarily is. Remember your promise not to go off anywhere. Stay with the ship.'

'Yes, Father.' Luke sent a mental sigh with that thought through their connection as if he were a put-upon teenager. He felt Vader’s muted amusement trickle back through the connection though there was also a flow of concern that Luke might still do something foolish or reckless. 'Father, can you see through my eyes again?'

'That would not be a wise course considering I have to fly the shuttle and vision is rather … important for that.'

'Oh, right. Good thinking. I just get the feeling that … I’m missing something here. Maybe you would notice it.'

'Tell me what you are seeing and maybe something will come to me.'

Luke realized that if he looked at a specific part of the building rather than the whole, the sense of dizziness retreated. He described to Vader the three flights of worn, wide steps that led up to what appeared to be the main entrance to the structure. If there had ever been doors to this entranceway they had long rotted away.

'The doorway is open, but there’s only blackness inside from what I can see. The building itself is at least ten stories tall and at least twice as wide. It’s divided into three wings. I can see two towers on the ends of each wing. And large empty balconies jut off the front of each floor. Countless windows, but just like the main doorway all I can see of the inside through them is darkness.'

'Do you feel that this darkness is natural?'

Luke stretched out tentatively with the Force, mindful of how the energy sought out his mind before, but when nothing attacked him he pushed out further.

'I … don’t think so. The light here is strange. It should be brighter all around but … its not. The energy that brought me here is gone, too. Or at least it’s not being focused on me and I can’t feel it. There’s a sense of heaviness almost … like the place is leached of life, but at the same time crammed with it. Honestly, it gives me the creeps.'

'Creeps? Hmmm, quite descriptive, young one.'

'Considering I was educated on Tatooine, you’re lucky I can string a sentence together.'

'Tatooine? That’s … I shouldn’t be surprised.'

Luke felt Vader’s shock through the bond at the mention of Luke’s home world. Since Tatooine was the last planet in the universe to cause excitement, his father’s reaction was odd.

'Why are you not surprised?'

'I, too, was brought up on that dust ball of a planet. That Obi-Wan should take you there shows great … arrogance … and he was known for his arrogance. It almost equaled mine.'

Luke mulled over Vader’s last statement. His father was confident now, as he should be considering his success rate and power, but Luke had never felt any overweening pride from him. But he was a young man, perhaps with a lot to prove, when he was taught by Obi-Wan. Maybe he used arrogance to cover up his fear that he wasn’t … what he should be. The last seemed very right to Luke’s thinking. He wanted to know his father’s struggles so he could reach him, bring him back to the Light, but also just to know his father.

'Will you tell me about … you and Obi-Wan some time?'

'Yes, when you are safe aboard the Executor I will answer all your questions about my old master.' There was a pause and then the Dark Lord asked almost tentatively, 'Who brought you up on Tatooine?'

Luke squashed the image of the second burning from his mind and concentrated on the slithering lines of the structure so that when he said their names there was hardly any pain at all. 'Owen and Beru Lars.'

'So my step-brother and his wife were your guardians? Never let it be said that a person cannot be hidden in plain sight.'

'Step-brother? You knew Uncle Owen then?'

'Barely.'

There was a pulse of pain that the Dark Lord quickly squelched before Luke could get a grip on it. Something about his meeting with them, but Luke couldn’t say what it was about that meeting that hurt his father to think about it.

With a flicker of anger that his father chose to read his thoughts like a book yet shielded his own mind, Luke jabbed, 'Your stormtroopers killed them while searching for the droids with the Deathstar’s plans.'

'Their deaths upset you?'

From Vader’s nonchalant response to their deaths, Owen and Beru themselves were not the cause of Vader’s earlier discomfort. Luke should have known that his barb at his father would come right back at him.

'Of course their deaths upset me!'

'Even though they are the ones that … punished you … for dreaming of me?'

Luke found himself flushing in the cockpit, his face burning. Had his father read his thoughts again? Or did it just make logical sense that his guardians would be the ones to punish him? He never wanted his father to know what they did to him or how he failed during the punishment.

'They did … what they felt they had to do.'

Vader’s voice was like a sibilant hiss as he responded, 'What they felt they had to do? Before it sounded like you agreed whole-heartedly with your punishment, but perhaps you don’t?'

'I … I don’t wish to speak of this anymore. It’s irrelevant, Father. I will never act on my feelings—'

'I believe there are two of us in this equation, son, and you cannot speak for me on it.'

'What … what do you mean?' Luke felt every muscle in his body tense at his father’s words.

'I think you know, child of my heart.'

'I … don’t.'

'Your guilt and shame stops you from seeing the obvious. But perhaps … like the tale of Obi-Wan and myself … this subject should wait until we are alone together in the Executor.'

'I truly don’t wish to discuss it more!'

'But I do. So we shall.'

Luke’s misery was like a cloud over their mind-link. What possible purpose does he have in continuing this discussion? Could he want … want me as a lover? He said I belonged in his arms and that the dream was a vision. But does he want the dream to be more than a dream because it shows him young and whole again … or is truly being with me at least a partial reason for it? No, no, no! I must never give into this … feeling … I have for him. I must content myself with a father’s love. That is so much more than I ever expected anyway.

Vader broke the silence between them by asking more about the structure, 'Does anything about how the building looks tell you its possible purpose?'

Luke thrust aside his discomfort and focused on his father’s question. He craned his neck to the right then to the left to see if there were any other buildings around the one. 'It looks like it’s the only structure around, but the forest is so thick outside the clearing that there could be a whole city underneath the canopy and I wouldn’t be able to tell. Maybe it’s a temple of some sort. That would explain its solitariness.'

Luke stared at the towers that perched on two of the front corners of the structure. They twirled towards the sky in an almost playful fashion. If it weren’t for the dullness of the brown stone they were made of and the grimness of the overall aspect of the place, he would find their workmanship beautiful. His attention was ripped away from the towers by a flash of movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head quickly but only saw the dried stubby grass of the clearing and the empty steps.

'I am making my descent now, Luke. I will be with you soon.'

Before Luke could respond to his father, he saw another flash of movement on the other side of the X-Wing.

“Artoo, are you seeing anything out there?”

The droid responded with a screech. There was a hiss and pop followed by the greasy smell of frying electrical circuits. Then Luke heard a tapping on the top of the canopy. He looked directly upwards …

'FATHER! SOMETHING’S HERE! IT’S COMING IN—'