Forbidden

Shadows of the Past

“What has happened to us, Father? What are we?” Luke heard himself ask in a small, uncertain voice.

Vader’s brow furrowed slightly as if he couldn’t understand the questions or the emotions behind them. The Dark Lord seemed to take all their new abilities in stride. Luke thought, ‘Maybe it has something to do with the fact that he’s always felt he should be able to do more, be this all-powerful being, while I didn’t even know about the Force until a few years ago. I was just a Tatooine farm boy dreaming of flying.’ 

Vader placed a comforting hand on Luke’s shoulder, his thumb rubbed gently over Luke’s collarbone. “Child, we are who we should be: the Balance of the Force. Do you not feel it?”

Luke nodded slowly even though he was uncertain what it meant to be the Balance of the Force. He did feel something … a sense of rightness in being with his father. But Luke did not have any special understanding as to what he should do with the powers he had been gifted with. 

“I’m just … afraid. I know Jedi are not supposed to feel fear, but I do.”

“Everyone feels fear. It is only if it rules you that trouble comes of it. But why are you afraid?”

“Our powers … they’re so extreme. We could do something … something terrible, something that can’t be undone.” Luke stared at his hands as if they already were stained by potential crimes. “An individual’s effect on the universe is like throwing a stone into a still pond. The ripples of that individual’s actions spread out into infinity. When I bring someone bring someone back to life, aren’t I changing the universe forever?”

Vader’s brow furrowed. “Yes, but you do the same thing when you stop a laser bolt from hitting its intended target. Or for example, when I saved those slaves from their fate. Whether I used the Force or our ion cannons to stop the slavers, does it matter if the end result is the same?” Vader gestured out towards the ships that were being slowly pulled inside the Executor. “Every act we do, large or small, affects the universe in unknowable ways. You and I are just able to do more large things with the powers we have.”

“But what about the fact that the troopers were resurrected with greater mental acuity and physical prowess? They are changed radically from what they were before. That is different than if I had been on the transport with them when they were hit and I turned aside that blast and saved their lives that way, isn’t it?”

“I cannot deny that the troopers are indeed changed by their experience. But if you were not meant to use your powers to bring people back to life then you would not have been granted that ability, Luke. The Force must want you to use these powers.”

“Yes, but isn’t it how I use them and who I help that matters? What if the Force means me only to save banthas or something and not people, but the powers work just the same on either?”

With a smile at the bantha comment, Vader said, “Then you would know that. You would feel it. Did you sense anything wrong when you brought those troopers back to life?”

Luke remembered the calm he felt as he entered the troopers’ room, how it was so easy to help them, how right it felt to help them. “I felt like I was doing something that I was always meant to do. But Father I didn’t know they were dead!”

“I saw the result of your helping those men, Luke. When I walked into that room, you were glowing with what you’d done. Acting against the Force’s will could never produce such powerful positive emotions in you.”

Luke rubbed his hands together, trying to hide the fact that they were trembling from his father. But Vader noticed, knew Luke’s emotional state, like he always did.