The Great Family Abduction

The Great Family Abduction II

FAMILY AND ITS INTERNAL CONFLICTS

Forming a family is not something easy. We have already commented on the unsuitable practices we sometimes perform. Here, we will mention them again, but with their counterparts, and we will discuss many conflicts and everyday situations we may come face to face with on many occasions.

When two people fall in love and decide to spend their lives together, we can imagine that they know each other or are simply attracted to the other person because of what they will share day and night under the same roof until death parts them.

What happens when one or both families don't agree with the decision? First of all, in most cases, they start to compare them with past relationships. Likewise, the lack of acceptance ends up making the couple do things with pressure and sadness, as they see themselves between the devil and the deep blue sea, and this leads to one or both families falling apart.

When they finally manage to be together, countless situations can come about, such as rejection on behalf of family members, which makes them stop seeing the family who is in disagreement and we may see the following scenario:

"Sweetie, that man is no good for you. He is not what we wanted for you. You are making a mistake. Look, you don't know what habits he may adopt. He may leave the work up to you or cheat on you. He is simply not up to your level." The daughter hears this list of mistakes once and again, every time she visits her parents (both the man and the woman).

Until one day, when they make the decision of not going or going less to their family's house, and are faced with the following problem: "Sweetie/Son, why don't you visit me anymore? Do you not love me? Do you prefer that person instead of us who are your family?"

They try to reach their daughter/son's most intimate fibers with this emotional blackmail, but clearly they decide to stay with their spouse as they are forming a new family.

A lot of cases are not like this, but we have not stopped to think that it is much better to receive our children and their spouses with open arms. It is up to us as parents to have a close family with love and values, even if we don't agree. At one time we chose the person we wanted to spend our life with and if the situation was the same and we are repeating it, why didn't we learn from our experience? And if it wasn't, why if we didn't go through that rejection are we doing it? God tells us to love one another even if we are strangers and we don't put any of this into practice even with our family. What is happening? Are they our signs of repentance?

Our role as parents turns into taking care of our children, educating them and giving them advice, not blackmailing them or forcing our wishes in their happiness.

That is respect between parents and children. Even if we don't agree with one decision or another, we need to respect them with love and for love. An entire life can go by without getting to know them or an entire life can go by without agreeing with the partners they chose or any other decision they made, but that doesn't change the fact that they are our children. Many times, we make them feel that way until they distance themselves from us.

It is like the father who doesn't agree with his son or daughter's partner and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is: "If you marry this person, you can forget that I am your father and I will not go to your wedding."

What do we engender in them? Bitterness, instability, fears, and a great resentment. Is that what we want for them and their children? We will destroy our own family by not accepting our children's decisions.