Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 2

The trip from Rosewood High is completely silent. Ezra's hands haven't stopped shaking and Aria pretends not to notice how white his knuckles are from gripping the wheel so tightly. She hasn't spoken since they came down from the roof. When Ezra asked if she wanted to go home with him she simply nodded, knowing that if she said no he would have insisted anyway, unwilling to let Aria be on her own tonight. Aria understands though, she isn't annoyed by his worries. In fact, she's grateful for them, because she intends to at least try to keep her promise to Ezra, and if left on her own tonight she isn't sure how she'd make it.

Aria's head rests against the window as she watches the streets of Rosewood pass her by. She used to love the way everything seemed to blur together in a mixture of light and dark, but now she feels nothing; she feels cold again. She regrets letting Ezra save her. His kiss was enough to light something within her, but only for so long. Now she's returned to the same empty, hollow feeling she knows so well, and she wants nothing more than to feel that spark from Ezra's lips again. She craves it. She craves the way it made her feel alive.

Ezra eventually parks in front of his apartment building, stretching out his fingers once they finally release the wheel. Aria hasn't said a word or moved in the time they've been in the car. Ezra sits silently for a moment before getting out of the car, hoping Aria will follow. She does, and the two walk into his apartment for what feels like the millionth time. Aria shrugs the jacket Ezra gave her off of her shoulders and sets it on the kitchen island. He gave it to her when he saw her shiver as they walked down from the roof, and she didn't have the heart to tell him that while it was a nice gesture, it does nothing to help the growing chill inside of her.

Aria stands hesitantly in the middle of the room, as if this was her first time visiting 3B. Everything about the way she moves screams careful. Ezra remains behind her; waiting for her to say something, do something, anything. When it's clear she has no intentions of speaking Ezra sighs softly to himself and runs a nervous hand through his hair before resting it on his neck.

"Aria... We have to talk about this," he says quietly.

She doesn't turn around. "No, we don't."

"Please, I—I don't want to scold you, or lecture you, or anything I just... I want you to talk to me."

She walks over to the bed, sits, and starts to take off her shoes. "Talking isn't what I need from you right now."

"What can I do?" he asks genuinely.

Aria hates the way he cares for her. It's a constant reminder to why she doesn't deserve him. Ezra follows her, sitting beside her and staring at her. His eyes aren't pitiful, like she expects, but loving. She stares back at him but her gaze is unreadable. She looks at his lips, remembering the fire they brought to her veins, and that's all it takes for her to capture them with her own. She feels the warmth of his touch immediately. He doesn't hesitate to kiss her back and when he does Aria can see fireworks behind her closed eyes. This is what she needs right now. She needs to distract herself from the thoughts pounding away in her mind and forget the pain.

Aria's fingers begin to explore underneath Ezra's t-shirt and he reluctantly pulls away. Something about this feels wrong. He gets the strange feeling that he's taking advantage of her, even though she's the one who started it.

"Aria—" Ezra breathes. "Aria, stop."

She leans back, looking at him with curious eyes. "Why?"

"This feels wrong."

Aria furrows her brow. "Why?" she repeats.

"It's just... After what happened tonight it doesn't seem right to, uh..." he trails off.