Love By A Thread (A Brisabel Fanfic)

Wake Up Now

Waking up it felt like my body was cast in steel. I was in a hospital room and the door opened.

"Oh good, she's up. You can go in now." A nurse ushered someone in and closed the door.

"Suzy!" I cried. Her face was pale.

"They're not letting anyone see Brian." she said grimly. My mouth felt dry; I whispered an "I'm sorry" to no one but the air. I saw a few IVs on my arm and gasped, tugging on them.

"Help me get these off! They're poisoning me, it hurts!" I said desperately. Suzy put her hand on my arm, stopping me, with an almost knowing touch.

"No sweetie, these are helping you. Now stop that or you'll hurt yourself."

"Helping," I grumbled, "Suzy, when was McKenna's party?" I asked, suddenly curious and observant.

"That was three days ago. She's heart broken. Her big brother and favorite aunt in the hospital." Her voice rang with pity and sorrow, I almost felt it. I stared at the blankets silently, trying not to remember that it was me who put us in the situation. A few days ago, Brian and I were lying in bed, and he had hugged me. Oh how I wanted to feel his arms around me again. "What floor are we on?" I mumbled, not breaking my gaze.

"The twelfth. Now don't move. I need to talk to the doctors ok?" I insisted that they wanted to dissect me, but she just shook her head, smiling bleakly, acting like the mom she was. Suzy had accepted me as her own child, just like she had done with Brian and I couldn't thank her more, but I also couldn't help hating everyone in this hospital, even her. Suddenly coming to my senses, I realized that the crash was three days ago and if Brian still wasn’t up, it must be bad. Before I could think any more, the door opened once again and a cheeky nurse stepped in.

"Hi there, darling. We were able to get a different dosage of your schizophrenia medicine so that it won't counteract with what we give you here." She smiled again but I stared at her, overcome with the need to scream. I hated that word-schizophrenia-I only had a mild case, no one talked about it, no one but Brian, and he knew how to keep me safe, but he wasn't here, so I kept calm. 

"Your kindness is blunt and too much, it burns," I sat up when I noticed her expression change, "Here. Where am I? Where is my fiancé?" The nurse looked a little nervous and I was surprised at the change in my voice.

"You're at the Huntington Hospital, and I assure you your fiancé is fine, you can see him later." I landed on the pillow with a thud. 

"Why can't I move I'm not a caterpillar." I struggled under the tight blankets and faced the window. A bird flew towards the windowsill and I screamed and ducked, reminded of the tree and the car.

"Oh, you might suffer from some PTSD." The nurse looked down, almost ashamed to say it.

"Might!?" I looked up at her, teary eyed, “I already had it. It was a long time ago...." I curled into a ball and buried my face in a pillow. Brian knew what happened, but I never had the nerve to tell anyone else, despite his pleas for me to. I knew I should have, because it affected me all the time, sometimes even when Brian touched me when walking by, or other times when we were...closer . "When can I see my fiancé?" I asked again, burrowing even further under the sheets.

"Not till later. You look tired, how about a little snooze?" Her smile was sad as she changed the subject, I felt it.

I spoke up, "Don't feel bad for me...and could you turn the lights off?"

I sat alone in the room, counting the scars, scratches, bruises, IVs and bandages that lined my arms in the dying dusk light. I couldn't read the clock but someone came in with soup. And a little later, maybe an hour, a woman came in to explain something about arm exercises. Every night before bed I'd have to do some because the muscle got ruined or something. I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy staring at the silver fish swimming in the air. Their scales were shiny and they taunted me, even when everyone left. The once gleaming scales went dull as needles carved Brian's name into them. I watched them in silent horror as their bloody, ruined bodies fell to the floor. Even when I was asleep I could still see them swimming and dying.