The Chase

Chapter 20

The knock on my door pulls me back from my zoning out session.

"It's open," I shout.

To my chargrin the door opens up and Chase walks in, closing the door behind him. At least he's wearing a t-shirt. He sits at the edge of my bed and drops his head into his hands. I don't speak, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought.

"What are we doing Char?"

I don't respond and bring my knees up to my chest hugging them tightly. He hasn't looked up at me yet and as he does I feel my heart sink into my stomach. I have never seen Chase this unsure of himself.

"It was never my intention to hurt you," his voice is low and raspy as he speaks.

"I know that Chase, but sooner or later it had to come to this point. You can't keep doing what we have and expect everything to remain the same."

"I guess this is why you called me a one fuck wonder, I fuck everything up." He smiles sadly.

"You're not Chase. I was wrong to say that, well for the most part. You're sweet and enigmatic, when you want to be at least. Also funny and devilish as fuck." I give him a real smile making a decision to not hold against him all that has happened between us.

"A part of me wanted something more with you, which is why I've been trying to speak to you. The longer it took though, the more I realised that I'd fuck that up too."

I look down breaking eye contact with him finding it really hard to look into his eyes while he's saying how he feels.

"It's not me it's you right." I say sadly.

"Please don't." Chase begs me taking my hand in his and interlocking our fingers. He looks down at our joint hands and sighs. "You'd think we were meant to be by the way our hands fit together."

His words bring tears to my eyes and I quickly try and blink them away not succeeding as a lone tear runs down my face which he wipes away with the pad of his thumb.

"I wanted to be that guy for you Char, I really did."

"You were Chase. You were all I needed, but... I just... I can't. I thought I could... I fell in love."

Before I can do anything, more tears make an escape. We sit quietly each lost in their own thoughts, hands still interlocked. Chase's eyes are sad as he looks at me.

"I um... I actually also came to tell you that I'd be leaving for a bit. I'm going to finish my Senior year back in England, spend more time with my parents you know."

No no no no no. A sob escapes my throat and Chase pulls me to his chest, my face burrows into his neck.

"You don't have to leave because of me," I cry into his neck, hands fisting in his t-shirt.

"I'm not Char, I'm leaving for me. I'm not proud of the person I've become."

I can't stop the tears which have now become a steady flow.

"Please don't cry. You have to stop crying."

I can't.

"You were right that first time you know. Not only are you enough, you are everything." Chase whispers, making me cry even more. "If you don't stop crying I won't be able to kiss you."

Chase pulls back from me and cups my face in his hands, and even though I expect it, his kiss catches me off-guard. The kiss says so much without a single word being uttered.

I miss you.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Goodbye.