Love in Unexpected Places

chapter 3

When I was 13, I met  Chase Parkers in the 8th grade. We almost instantly fell in love. We where open and public about our feelings for each other, never toneing down the love gage, not a school, not at either of our houses. when my brother first me him, my parents hadnt yet been diagnosed with cancer, they where able to be a full and functioning part of my life, and they loved Chase. We constantly had him over for dinner or family fuctions like cook-outs. He was a huge part of my life.

About 3 months into our relationship, I became pregnant with his child. Instead of being scared and horrified like any normal teen mom, I was shocked but happy to be carrying Chases child. He was about as happy as I was, he loved the idea of being called "Daddy" within the first 5 minutes of finding out. 

I was about to tell my parents about the pregnancy when Andrew picked me up from school one day instead of my mom. We went to the hospital to find that both of our parents had been dieing of terminal brain cancer. They had only weeks to live and they where quickely declining in health. The news didn't sink in until the day they died. I didn't tell them before they died and I hadn't yet told Andrew who had just turned 18. When they died, I knew I had to tell him. 

We where laying next to our parents bedside, their lifeless bodies cold and white, and I began speaking without looking at him.

"Andrew?"

"What?" he asked with sobs in his voice.

" I'm going to have a baby," I said, the sobs where clear in my voice as well.

We both looked up at each other at the same time. His hurt filled eyes sudenly became ones of hatred and anger. He got up and stormed out of the room. I figured if I got up and went after him it would only make things worse. He needed time to cool off. Thats what I thought he was doing until about a half an hour later I heard screaming coming from the emergency room of the hospital. I wouldn't have moved if I had not recognized the screams as Chases.

When I got out of the room, running as fast as possible, I ran to his side. He was covered in blood and bruises. He didn't look hurt to badly, more scared than anything. He barelt managed to speak my brothers name before he came slamming through the doors and charged at Chase. I stood in front of him, sheilded him from my huge brother before he killed him. 

 He shoved my out of the way, slamming me into the stone wall and lunged at Chase. He was stopped by security guards that got him right before he landed on Chase. After he was saftley taken away, I began to feel the pain in my stomach and head. I tried to get up and quickely fell down again. The whole world began to spin and blacken around the edges. I passes out.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital gown with Andrew sitting right next to me , handcuffed to the chair, crying. Chase was in the bed next to mine, unconsiouse. I looked over at Andrew and began to cry along with him. I cried for Chase, I cried for myself, and I cried for my parents. That was the day my whole world fell apart.

I only ate when Andrew force fed me, which grew more often as my child did. I was dead. Not even my baby could bring the light in my life. Eventually Andrew let Chase back in the house, hopeing maybe he could help bring me back. It was a useless effort. The world seemed to get darker and darker, even when seemed it could get no more darker. 

There came a day when I woke up, knowing I could take no more. I walked down the stairs, 6 months pregnant, and went into the kitchen. I didn't even think about my child as I pulled the knife out of the holder. I didn't even take a deep breath as I slid the blade along my left wrist and then slid my right wrist while left was pouring blood on the wood floor. I said nothing, I didn't cry or scream like people do in the movies, I wanted to be gone, nothing, with my parents. 

When the room began to spin and I began to feel cold, I pulled out a kitchen chair and took a seat. What I didn't realize was there was a glass on the edge of the counter that was knocked over when the chair hit it. The noise woke up Andrew , I knew he was awake before I heard him running down the stairs. Though I knew he wouldn't just sit back and let me die, I had no desire what-so-ever to move or run. There had been no desire to do anything in so long that this was nothing that shocked me. 

Andrew looked at me with a look of knowledge and knowing. He knew that day would come, it was enevitable to every person who saw me. Anyone who had seen how my life had turned could see that there would come a day when I would no longer be able to take the longing. He scooped me up and ran to the car. It seemed like we where at the hospital before he closed the car door.

After that day I spent the next two months in the mental floor of the hospital, while getting the pre-       natel care I had refused to take while in my own home. I was relased about three weeks before Tabitha was born. About a month before Chases parents took me to court and got custody of Tabitha. They moved half away across the country before I got to see her again.

I loved Chase, but eventually I had to move on and except the fact that there was no way I could get either of them back until I was over 18 and had a good job. I occasionaly get pictures of Tabitha Marie with Chase. The rare video of her making a mile stone. I thought I would neverlove another again. A few months before I met Lucus, I decided that I would no longer love or think of Chase. That though almost freed me.