My Story

College struggles

After the summer I started college, I was so excited for college, my best friend and I attended the same college and same class, so it could not go completely wrong, right?

It was the first day of college and everyone talked with everyone, it seemed like a perfectly nice beginning, so I thought.

After a few days of college I could already conclude that I was not going to be one of the popular girls, because it seemed like people did not take any interested in me at all. I did start to realize that I was a bit different from the others. My classmates was kind of hippie like people, and I was surely not like that, they were that kind of people who would only shower 1 time per second week, I was that kind of person who showered every day.

As time passed by I realized they did not like me at all, they did not like my best friend either. They did not want to sit next to us, or be in group with us they laughed when we passed them in the halls, they laughed when we answered the teachers questions in the class, I could always hear small evil comments coming from behind us. There was a day. We had design class the teacher spilt us up in groups and we started our work, suddenly I girl from my group told me, "you are a very quiet person" I said "I don't think I am quiet when you know me". Short after she said that she told a guy from my group, "I hate quiet people". Although she was not my friend I felt hurt, very hurt.

When I came home I cried.

Again days passed and my best friend and I had to make a presentation in class, we worked so hard on that presentation and the teacher really liked it, but our classmates surely did not, they gave us so many bad comments, while everyone else got good comments, even those who obviously made theirs in the last minute.

That day after school I was really upset, I just wanted to give up and it was only my first year of college.

In the mean time stuff was not good at home either, my sister was in the hospital and my mother was with her, my father worked all the time, so I left me taking care of my brothers and all the house work, while I also had to keep up with the school work, which was difficult on it's own, so I never had any free time, I made assignments till late every single day, so I did not get enough sleep either. It was like being a single mom in a early age. It kept going like that on and off for a year.

Finally we had summer holiday and my sister came out of the hospital and we went on summer holiday, everyone was so nice, I enjoyed some free time for all the stress I had from school and chores at home, because school had made me really stressed and slightly depressed as well.

Sadly the summer went by fast, so before I knew it school was back on and I started with my second year of college, which I had been told would be the hardest year of college, and soon I figured out that it was true.

There was so many assignments to do the school days was long and before I knew it I was more stressed and depressed than ever, and my sister had to go back to the hospital because she was sick again, so I was left doing everything at home again, at the same time I was very worried about my sister, she had been in and out of the hospital more than she normally was. It was pretty scary.

Ever since I was child I had nightmares about my sister passing away, it was my greatest fear for that to happen.

I became unhappier and unhappier, I stopped being alive, I was no longer a human, I just woke up, went to school, sat like a zombie, then I went home did my chores and did my homework and then I went to bed, everyday was the same, I stopped eating and started to survive on coffee, so my weight dropped drastically, I was no longer the person I used to be, I lost myself and I should have stopped there, but I didn't, I wanted to make my parents proud of me. So I kept going and everything became worse.

At what I thought was my very worst. My sister and mother came home; it made it a bit better. My sister, grandmother, mother and I went on a holiday to Greece, because my sister really wanted to go there, we lived on a 5 started hotel and everything was nice, but I was still not happy, all I could think about was my stupid school work.

My sister was so worried about me, she could see I was very unhappy, and it was not good for me at all.