My Story

A New Me

After awhile I started school again, it was tuff, my classmates did not seem any nicer, they just thought it was weak of me not to go to school for a month, but they did not know how it felt to lose someone you had so dear, because they never lost anyone before.

School didn't get any easier, my best friend was depressed as well and we both just really wanted to give up, but we hung in for awhile. After a few months we went to a study trip to china, it seemed nice, but it surely was a disaster.

The others was not nice to us at all, one day we were 5 minutes late, because the teachers forgot to inform us about meeting time, so they freaked out on us, (not the teachers, they took it cool, just the students) and the day before that, 2 students came 30 minutes late, and they just laughed of them, and the very same day, the students who freaked out on us for being 5 minutes late, was 15 minutes late.

Also the trip was to much study, to little trip, we walked 30-40km per day, no free time, just museum after museum.

So going home was pretty nice. The worst part was the trip cost us 10.000 kr.

After coming home my best friend told me, she would drop out of college, it broke my heart, I did not know what I should do on my own, but I could understand her.

She dropped out, shortly after that she went on a trip to Vietnam to visit her family, because one of her aunts was dying, she died while my best friend was there, so she got to attended to funeral and pay her last respect to her.

While my best friend was in Vietnam, I attended school, it was pretty hard on my own, I felt so lonely, no one wanted to sit next to me, or on the same row as me, or have me in their group, the teacher should literally force people to take me into their group, it felt awful.

Someday where we had a free period I would go to a café and sit and do my homework, so I would have less to do at home. One day a guy came up to me, he asked me if I could help him with his studies, normally I do not talk to strangers, but he looked nice, also to mention, he was not from my country, he spoke English to me. Later on I figured out I was exchange student in a country near my country, so he came here while having holiday.

Originally he was from Korea. We came to talk and became friends, it was nice to have a new friend. He went back to uni, but we kept the contact, sometimes we skyped to help each other with our studies, it was nice to have a supporter.

We clicked pretty well and I started liking him as more than a friend, and soon we started dating, and we became girlfriend and boyfriend.

He came to visit me when he had break from uni and so, so it was fine. I told my parents and friend and they were supportive about it.

Sadly the time came where he had to go to Korea, but luckily I had decided to take a break from college, because I was used up. So I planned to visit him later on in Korea, and I did. I travelled alone for the first time, and it was to the other side of the world, but I felt nice, I felt free and grown up, besides that I was 20 years old, so I should be able to take care of myself. And everything went nicely. Besides the fact my plane seat was broken, so I could not watch tv or anything for 12 hours, but it was fine, I just fell asleep.

When I arrived to Korea he ran a bit (a lot) late, because he had a scholarship interview, because he wanted to study in Europe permanently, which was nice, because then we could see each other a bit more often.

Anyway he came to the airport and picked me, he gave me flowers, which was so nice of him, I never have had anyone to do that before.

We went to the airport bus to go to the hotel were we stayed for the 3 weeks I was going to be in Korea. Sadly he had to go to school everyday besides the weekends and Friday. But it was fine, I just went to school with him, it was nice because I got to meet his friends and see his school.

We had a great time in Korea together, I liked it there it seemed better than were I was from. The food was better the people were nicer.

One of the days we went to namsan tower to lock our locks. It was great. I was so happy spending time with my boyfriend in Korea, I forgot all the unhappiness and just focused on how happy I was now.

Of course my time in Korea had to come to an end, which was sad, but time has to go on and I knew I would comeback to Korea later.

I came home; my mother, father and youngest brother picked me up in the airport. I was already sad to be home and I already missed my boyfriend, he missed me as well. Both of us believed we were each other's last love and in my case also first love.

My boyfriend and I's relationship were great, of course we had a few small disagreements but neither of us stayed angry for a long time.

My boyfriend studied very hard, because you need good grades to get a scholarship, and his grades were really good, I was so proud of him. And if everything goes as planned he will come to Europe and study in August, but now us only January, so I have to wait a long time. I do hope I can save up enough money to go Korea around my birthday, which is also around our anniversary, but I did struggle getting a job, in the end I found a decent job as English tutor on a school near my house, which is a okay job, but I am still not sure whenever I can gather enough money to be able to go to Korea to see my boyfriend.

But there is one thing I do know, although long distance is hard, we can pull thought it, our relationship is pretty strong, we both made each others life better, neither of us has lived a easy life. Because of him I can feel happy again, truly happy.

I still cry from time to time, because I still miss my sister, although there has passed over a year since she died, I will never stop missing her and thinking about how much I wish she still was here. Sometimes I think about she will not be there when I graduate, when I get married, when I get kids, she cannot travel with me, or visit me, or help me with the kids. My sister always said she did not want to get married or have any kids, maybe because she knew she could not get any kids, and that she would not get married. But she always said, don't worry sis, I will just help you with your kids.

She always promised me that we would travel together and see the world, but that never happened.

But I do know, she follows me wherever I go. She is there when I get married, she is there when I get kids, and she is always there, just not physically.

She has watched me transforming into the person I am today I came so far.

Today..... lately my best friend struggles, she is depressed, she cannot see her life going anywhere, I on the other hand has everything figured out, I know what I want to do with my life, I have a awesome boyfriend, who is supportive and nice. Over the past year she moved nowhere, she does not know what to do with her life, I wish for her to find her way in life like I did. I hope she can find someone who will support her like my boyfriend supports me.

Of course I support him as much as he supports me, lately he struggles, he has to study from 9 in the morning to 10 in the night, which takes hard on him, on the same time there are problems in his family, his mother has to get a surgery because she is sick, but in Korea it is expensive to get a surgery and his family does not have the money, it pains my heart that I cannot help him and his family, because I really love his family, the time I spend with them in Korea was great, they were so nice to me. I try to cheer him up as much as I can, and just always be there for me, I believe this is the only thing I can do, although I want to do so much more than that.

My boyfriend and I skype daily, but it is only short we have a 8 hour time difference which makes it hard for us to skype, and at school he is not allowed to have his phone, so he calls me at 10 in his time, which is around the time I finish working. Then we talk for a bit and he falls asleep. Which is fine because I have to do my chores, I have to cook for my family, my sister was the one who did that, I mean when she was not in the hospital because she has a passion for cooking, I don't, but both of my parents can't really cook so I have to cook or we have to live of cereal and bread, which is not that great. These days when I cook I cook Korean food, so I can learn to cook stuff my boyfriend likes, I am getting pretty good at it.

Lately I just hope my best friend and my boyfriend will be fine, they mean so much to me. Without them I would not be able to live.