TOTALLY BADASS

2- "but, in fact, I am Father Jamboree!"

                   Chapter Two

Jesse pats me on the back, encouraging me to get a move on, "Come on. If you're not going to get overexcited about this then I'll have to carry enough excitement for both of us." He shrugs his shoulders and playfully sighs, "I don't want to wake up out of it tomorrow but you're really leaving me no choice. I'll drink double in place for where you're lacking"

He starts to shuffle through my wardrobe to find what he considers to be the 'perfect outfit'. Whatever he pulls out of my dumpster heap, I will not agree to wear. Indeed, opposites attract but no way in hell am I about to wear an outfit my lewd best-friend will pick out for me.

"Fine, you're a pain sometimes, mother party"

"No, no. Not party. Not even paartaay," he turns to me dramatically holding a cluster of fabrics and pauses before, "but, in fact, I am Father Jamboree!"

Yikes. That took him long enough to come up with. I know for a fact he searched that up just so he could use it in this situation. A Mary Poppins for trashy comebacks. Only he's a dude with a terrible buzz cut.

Jesse gives me another inspection, his eyebrows raised in scrutiny, "I get that your edgy and all, but lay off." He pushes my head towards the mirror and I only smirk. A couple of blemishes litter my face but along with the facial structure of my face and beautiful brown eyes, heh, I should be a model. "What are you talking about, boy? I only possess unrivaled beauty."

"Oh shit, I forgot I was talking to a narcissist"

And for that, I can only give him a couple of finger guns, because, damn, he's right.

Jesse doesn't live too close but he's there when it matters. I've been independent for quite some time so I don't need my parents too much, living alone gives my freedom. Of course I call sometimes. To check how they're doing, to ask for some money, to check if anyone had died, to ask if they've spotted any new patches of white hair and more money. You know, the usual. They don't call much, except, of course, to give me a tongue lashing about the complaints from school.

Jesse decided to wear his usual attire of a grey tee and black jeans. All his complaints about my 'edgy-ness' but he looks like a minimalist. I swear those are the only clothes he owns.

We take off to 'father's Jamboree' as Jesse likes to call it and when we arrive, the party is already in full swing. The sound of music thumps against my eardrums and sends vibrations down my spine. My nose wrinkles due to the smell of alcohol. But I know the booze always feels way better than it smells. It is going to be a good night.

Jesse gives me a shout and then disappears into the crowd. Alas. I knew this outing was more for him than for me. Tch. I weave through the crowd and head straight for the bar.

I chat to many guys - not getting too comfortable. The night drags on and I dance, mingling with guys and girls alike but non give off too much of a lasting impression. I'm back at the bar and I'm not too disappointed. I wasn't looking for a significant other since I just got rid of one of the pains in my ass.

I spot a slightly tall guy approaching the bar. It's already really late into the night and he doesn't look even slightly buzzed. I can't make him out through the dim lights but I could tell he had dark hair and a nice looking torso. My 'slightly buzzed' self is instantly mesmerized.

I lean on the counter and face him, "helloo there."

He ignores me.

"Uh, Mr. man, hello," I continue to pester him.

"What?" He snaps at me.

Okaaaayy. That was not the reaction I expected. I would have thought he'd have some charisma to match the pretty face.

Hmm, now I sound like an old man bothering a woman. Let's stop right here.

"Yikes, who peed in your dinner?"

He leans away from me and smirks, "no one. I haven't had dinner yet, rat."

Okay. Now I'm pissed. No time to unleash my wrath on a commoner. It's time to get a breather. I'm rational enough to know that much.

I just sigh and mumble something under my breath about pretty boys full of piss in their breakfast. I walk out to the back of the club and take a breath of fresh air. You don't notice how sweaty a place smells until you leave it, huh?

I hear a couple of erratic footsteps behind me and quickly turn around. I find myself looking at a shady man. He starts spouting nonsense about how I should join him tonight and how we can have lots of fun. Wonderful. Just my luck. I promptly refuse his lewd proposal with a deadpan look and a sharp no.

He doesn't take a hint and moves closer, placing his arm on the wall beside my face. I catch a whiff of him and I instantly know he's hammered. Way more drunk than I am. No need for any chorography, he won't remember this in the morning. I punch him in the throat. Not too hard I think. His hand flies to his throat and I finish him off with a chop to the neck. He stumbles and falls to his knees, disoriented.

A laugh sounds to the side and I look up from the sorry state in front of me to find Breakfast Piss. The night just keeps getting better and better.

"Do you need something?" I say, returning the snappiness I received just a few minutes before. I'm fed up, want to call it a night and go home. I start walking around the club to get to the front.

"What's your name?" He shouts after me.

"Dixie Normous," heh.

"I know it is," he laughs behind me.

Oh, I hate this guy already. Just can't let me have the last word, can he? Enough of this irritating boy.

I hop onto my motorbike and speed away from him. Aha! Eat my figurative dust.

...

This chapter is the product of editing and may not line up well with the other chapters just yet. Bear with me since I think the tone changes quite a bit as well. Take everything written in this story with a grain of salt - I am no expert at anything just yet.