Tinted Shades

Chapter nine: Do you really matter?

Stress.

No wait I didn't say that right.

STRESS.

Oh I guess I did now. 

Or is it all the same?

Maybe I don't even know. I guess  I was just to stressed to know if stress was stress or if stress wasn't stress or if stress was just stress and I shouldn't be stressed about stress.

 I sat that day at the foyer busying myself watching Brian disappear towards the classes trying to avoid my nagging mother and class teacher often replying to them with a nod or customized answer.

"Mama Ted, I can't promise you anything except that you should be expecting your boy soon for suspension again. This 'dstv' case is not a small issue," I heard my class teacher say.

Yes the unexpected or rather expected had happened and the rumors on the snitching had been confirmed . That is why I sat on the foyer with my mom that afternoon my class teacher with us. We had not been punished yet well at least not me, except for our parents being called to school. The whole school was now familiar with the incident all thanks to the deputy principal's big mouth during that exam releasing assembly.

All my life I had never heard so many insults coming from a single person in less than an hour. I have to give him that. She called us all names branding the girls who had been in the 'game' the name 'laptops'.

"Young man you better have a good reason for me not kicking you out of my house, "mother threatened before storming off.

"Well at least I have a day or two in school to think where next," I smile at the thought walking towards the dorms.

"Ted! " Brian's voice calls from behind. I turn to see him hug off some girl. Double weird. I mean ,why is he coming from the music room yet he was just from home? And why and who was being hugged off?

Pregnant with curiosity I didn't ask still maybe I just had a lot in my mind.

No sooner had we started our conversation and catching up than I was called again. Trust me if I had a dollar every time my name was  called that week I'd be more richer than stressed.

"You're wanted by the deputy principal at the foyer," the school captain breaks it down reading from a list.

It's done and judgment day has finally come. I converse with myself cursing every single second I participated in "dstv'.

At the foyer eleven souls shaken stood. One missing but I couldn't add up who. Even the mightiest and toughest that evening bite his teeth not to utter a sound. 

" Get out of my faces you perverted prostitutes!" The deputy principal begins and I smile at her choice of words. As if no prostitute is perverted." Go take a spot under the trees," she commanded her tone rising.

Our school had this habit of sending students to sit under trees before sending them to suspensions and so we already knew what awaited us.

"How come Tony is not here?" I hear someone ask from their tree and with that a debate arose. Everyone stating how they are going to tell on Tony and if it's suspension we are all going. One after another we were called in before the discipline committee. 

I sat under my tree as the bell to mark end of games rang and watched the girls cross to their dorms.

Phoebe.

For some reason I had missed her. Our kiss that day at the music room and the little memories we shared. Her loud laugh and my useless jokes.  

I had not done her good. Innocent and unbothored she was like baby Jesus wrapped in a babe before I got her stuck in my web. She must really rejoice to see me in this trouble. But I was wrong. Phoebe wasn't like the others. The other girls giggled at themselves as they walked in their groups towards the dorm. Some even pointing at me and bursting into laughters as I smiled along to numb the hurt. But Phoebe, Lwande as she was now known by most of the students looked down as she paused. Quite ashamed to have even known me let alone fallen in love with me. And trust that hurt worse than the laughs and giggles. For a big mouth arrogant boy I sure had a soft heart and maybe everyone else we just to proud to admit.

She walked by and away her shadow creeping behind not for a single second turning her head. Maybe she knew she would feel sorry for me or maybe she already did. But either way I felt sorry for us.

I was called in next actually the second last and hoped to be sent back to class like my predecessors.

"All hail the king," the deputy principal sarcastically jokes and a chain of laughters follow from the others round the table. Unaware of what was the joke I smiled.

"You see, the fool smiled,he himself thinks he is the king," she removed her glasses now serious as ever. If I was to count from 1 to 10 from the second I entered that office I wouldn't reach ten, for it took a sarcastic statement a chain of laughs a smile from me and a scolding for the meeting to be over.

I was asked to go and pack up and get ready to leave the next day. The pavements are usually a busy place with students chatting here and there others running to or from the library and claases while others snailed to the washrooms but that night it was all for me and I had time to sob to myself as I walked to class. It was all over just like that and I thought of how I would rather be ashes than dust, my spark blown by a blazing flame than my speck stepped on the ground. For right now I was just dust and had nothing to be remembered for in that school. Or would I even be remembered?