Dead Dreams

1.

Isaac Hawthorne used to ride his bike to school every single day. Seeing him as my mom drove me to school was something I had gotten used to. His backpack straps loosely hanging onto both of his shoulders while his messy, dark brown hair billowed on top of his head. His eyes were constantly focused on the road ahead of him, never taking the time to acknowledge the scenery he passed on his way.

We used to be best friends when we were younger, used to hang out in each others yards and talk about things that hardly mattered in the universe. We used to eat ice cream together with our other friends Sean and Kayla laughing hard when one of us got brain freeze. But when high school started the two of us inevitably drifted apart. We could've tried to find time to hang out with each other but we just didn't bother to and so I thought it would be better to leave things as they were. Sure, I missed him a lot in the beginning but after a while I got used to it, even though I always wished we would someday reconnect with each other. I guess that that day will never come now.

Isaac was found in his room with a bullet in his head. That was all my mom had told me on the day she had gotten to know that Isaac had killed himself. School had been cancelled that day and I remained bundled up in my blankets for a whole week watching all the old movies that we had once watched when we were younger. I didn't step out of the house for a week, didn't even attend his funeral, I just couldn't.

The day I finally did get out of the house was a bright sunny Sunday. I met up with my friends Isabel and Dan at the burger place we usually hung out in after school. The silence present in the air was unnerving and lasted for a number of minutes until Dan finally started speaking. "Hey Emory, are you okay, I mean you weren't answering our texts for almost a week and we were kind of worried, so..." Dan stuttered out awkwardly and I cut him off with a reply that usually satiated people. "I'm fine." I replied.

I sat down on the edge of my chair my legs crossed at the ankles as I watched my two friends stare down at the table not knowing what to say. "Guys I'm not a ticking time bomb, I'm not going to suddenly explode in a shower of tears, okay, I'm good now." I told them and saw the tenseness in their shoulders dissipate. "Oh that's great because I'm not really good at handling sad situations like this." Isabel said as she sunk into her chair and pulled her phone up in front of her face. Dan looked at the two of us for a few seconds like he was deciding for himself what the next best move would be. "I'm going to order some food, want me to get you'll something?" He asked gingerly slipping out of his chair and we told him that we would order our food later.

I stared out of the window as I waited for Dan to return and found myself looking at the ice cream shop situated at the end of the street. The very exact ice cream shop Isaac and I used to go buy ice cream from once a week when we were kids. I remember the two of us dashing towards the shop as fast as our legs could take us on warm Friday afternoons just because we were very competitive as kids. We would then see who could finish his or her ice cream the fastest, a competition which I would continuously lose on purpose just so that I could savour my ice cream while he usually looked away with a pout. "That's not fair." He would often say when I continued licking my ice cream in an exaggerated fashion and listened to him whine all the way back to my place, where we would watch cartoons or play in the yard.

I turned away from the shop and looked at the table trying to keep the swirling emotions in my head at bay. "I have to go." I quickly muttered to Isabel feeling hot tears sliding out of my eyes and made a mad dash out of the shop with my phone clutched close to my chest. I wasn't ready to remember him. I wasn't ready to treat him like a memory, a memory that held no future to it but only a beautiful and dark past.

I jogged past many houses in the neighbourhood and finally came upon the Hawthorne's house hold. I knocked on the front door and waited, knocked again two minutes later but there still was no answer. So I walked over to the kitchen window that had a broken lock. I shoved the window hard and thanked the gods that the Hawthorne's hadn't thought of repairing it for the six years I hadn't cited this place. I slowly climbed into the house through the window and dropped to the kitchen floor with a thud. I stopped and for the first time wondered what I was trying to accomplish from this pointless visit but I quickly shut my thoughts out and let my feet carry me to the bedroom I used to go to on a daily basis. The room was shut and I hesitated, really asking myself if I wanted to actually open the door and see what had become of the geeky boy I had known so long ago.

The room was something I had never expected it to be. It was much cleaner than I ever dreamt it to be because the room I used to go to was a mess of comic looks and action figures. Now it was just plain, the walls grey in colour and the comic books had disappeared. It was like Isaac had erased that part of his life completely out of the new one he had formed. I quickly walked up to his desk and opened the top to find at least a trace of something that represented the old him. I searched through a bunch of assignments and articles and finally came across a bundle of pictures he had taken. I looked at the picture that was on top of the stack and saw a picture of him with two other guys all three of them beaming brightly at the camera like they were the best of friends. I couldn't understand why he would take his life when he was surrounded by these happy looking people but then again it was just one picture, I can't judge his life from a bundle of pictures could I?

I felt my eyes tearing up as I looked down at him with his beautiful smile and realized that I would never get to experience the happiness that exuded from his smile ever again. I quickly wiped the tears away with the back of my hand and focused on why I had come here in the first place, telling myself that I could cry later if I wanted to. I then closed the top of his desk and walked towards his bed and rolled under it. I easily found the piece of wood he had hammered onto of the underside of his bed and put my hand into the small space that existed between the plank and the underside of the bed. My fingers brushed against the edge of a book and slowly pushed it out so that it effectively fell on to the wooden floor.

That was when I heard a door shut from downstairs and my body immediately kicked into panic mode. I quickly grabbed the book and the photos and made a dash for Isaacs door. After quietly closing his door I rushed to his window and climbed out onto the small roof there was beneath it. I then carefully made my way to the left side of the house and skilfully jumped down onto the brick fence that existed on the houses boundary line. From there I made a larger jump onto the neighbours yard and ran all the way home without stopping to look back even once.

Once I made it home I walked straight up to my room which was situated on the second floor of the house. I told my dad that I was too tired to eat dinner and he let me go without questioning me because he understood that I was still coping with my loss. Once I got to my room I quickly removed my jacket and dropped the items I had collected on top of my desk. I kicked off my sneakers and dived beneath the covers, stared at the ceiling and let the tears of frustration, anger and defeat fall from my eyes. I shut my eyes willing myself to go to sleep but every time I closed my eyes all I would see was Isaac and his now haunting smile. I spent a few hours tossing and turning in my bed squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to coax my brain into slumber. Sleep finally came to me at about two in the morning. My body was finally too exhausted to stay awake, so I succumbed to unconsciousness instead.

A/N

Hey everyone,

Hope you'll enjoy this piece of work.

VP