The Library

Confusion

What? Just? Happened? I had spent weeks falling in love with a fugitive?

Wait a minute. I've been falling in love...

I felt warm as I came to this realization. This wasn't just a cute feeling I was having. This was love.

No! You can't. He's a criminal.

I couldn't breath. What was I suppose to do? He knew basically everything about me. He knew where I lived! He knew everything. Suddenly, I felt afraid. For the first time, I didn't feel safe or comforted by those blue eyes. I felt frozen and icy from them. I decided not to show up at the library the next day.

The next day, I sat in my room and stared at the clock. 4:11. 4:12. 4:13. 4:14. 4:15. It was official the time we met everyday. My body shivered with the image of Max doing all the crimes the news reporter had said. Of course there were moments when I wanted to leap out the door to see his face. But I couldn't and I wouldn't. We were over. No Max?

My life was now over.

My mind and my heart were in a brutal war. The heart yearning to see him and be with him. The head demanding to forget about him and his lies. Everything could have been a lie. He could've been making all of it up. Including the part where he liked me...

But my heart said...
Everything could have still been true. He could've truly meant all those soft words he spoke. Maybe he even loves me like I do him.

My head...
But I don't love him anymore. Not after that.

My heart...
His baby blue eyes. His silky smooth hair. His dimply cheeks.

My head...
His crimes. Theft. Vandalism. Arson.

I didn't visit the library for a whole week. And I was a little relived I didn't see him.

All of a sudden, on Monday night I heard a tap on the window. I ignored it at first. But it kept coming back.

Tap tap
Tap
Tap tap tap

I glanced over at my window to see little pebbles being thrown at it. I slowly paced over to the window and looked down. It was Max. I quickly ducked beneath my window.

He came? No, he came! He's a jerk. Yes, he came! He's so romantic.

I heard a soft voice calling my name.

"Lily!" I opened my window and gave him a sad look. It was hard for me to look at him. My eyes widened because it was the first time seeing him in a week, but my head was turning away from him.

Max yelled, "Why didn't you come to the library this week. I waited for you everyday. I got worried."

I opened my mouth and waited for words to come out, "Max, I know you're a fugitive. And I'm scared of you. But I'm also so mad at you. How could you do this to me? We got so close and we told each other everything. I trusted you. I thought you were perfect. But I guess perfect only exists in books."

He shook his head, "No, Lily, you have to listen to me."

"No! We're over. Whatever this...this thing was? It's over. Leave me alone Max, please. If you really care about, just leave me alone."

I then quickly shut the window and slid down my wall and on to the ground. I couldn't help from the tears running down my cheeks.