Memoirs of a Huntress

Hey guys i have changed the starting because it makes it better for the ending of this bk.... because i have made up my mind nd going to make this into two bks

so yeah enjoy :D

Prologue

“Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops

Weakened by my soulful cries.

You may shoot me with you words

You may cut me with your eyes

You may kill me with your hatefulness

But still, like air, I rise.”

-          STILL I RISE by Maya Angelou

I had been running for so long; long enough that I had entered the city. Even here so far from his clutches I still ran. Confused with all these emotions coursing through me I just ran, hoping by some miracle that I could run away from these feelings inside me. I knew getting too comfortable, opening up to far and letting my walls crumble down for him, would kill me in the long run. And in a manner of speaking I had died just a little when things blew up in my face. Stupid me had to forget all that I was taught and go with what my heart ‘thought’ was best. Pfft, yeah good job heart put us through this pain; do you like it?! I yelled furiously in my head, but of course I didn’t get a response because hearts don’t talk, or feel which is why it was stupid of me to ‘follow’ it.

My breathing was ragged and I slowed from my almost sprint to a jog and finally into a walk. Thankfully I blended into the crowd, and just looked like I was a jogger getting some exercise in the early hours of the afternoon. I put my hands on my hips and got my breathing back under control as I kept walking in the opposite direction of my house, of my life... and of him.

Still thinking of him sent my body into disarray. My heart started beating faster increasing my breathing… or maybe it was the other way around? My body felt anxious and it felt like I had a large pit in my stomach with butterflies rioting there. I felt giddy and excited to see him, to see him smile, to see him glow with joy; to just see him.  I wanted to hold his hand… no I needed to touch him somehow; my body yearned so much for that contact with him it was physically hurting me, so overwhelming it pushed the physical pain I felt from my run to the back of my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to push him away, disgusted at how weak I had gotten from him... for him.

But closing my eyes only enlarged and materialised his image in my mind. It was like he was standing there before me. The sun glowing off every inch of him. That warm smile that seemed so boyish on his large masculine frame. His entrancing eyes. The smooth melodic voice that could hypnotize me to do anything he asked. The soft gentle nature of his that always had me feeling like porcelain if things got too rough. For once in my life I felt like I didn’t have to keep my guard up; I didn’t have to be the steel cables that held everything together. Around him I could let go just a little and not fear of any consequences in my absence of responsibility because he would step up and look after me. He would make sure things ran smoothly so that I could enjoy myself; and he didn’t even feel burdened by it! He was caring, and kind, and-

NO! I wouldn’t. Not again. I had already gone through the missing him phase, now it was time to forget about him and move past this point with him, trying to be civil with him. And if I couldn’t be civil with him, then I would leave him behind completely. Forget about him and all that we had… all that we could’ve had, and just move forward in my life. He was just a minor setback in the grand scheme of things and I could push through this… I had too if I wanted everything to work out in the end. There were more people depending on me for this to work, and I would focus on them instead of someone who didn’t care or want me.