Abusive Love

I drove home thinking about all my flaws. There are so many. And because I was crying I almost got into a wreck, twice. but I don't care it would have just been death a few minutes before I end it.

I made it home alive. I slowly drag myself to my room and close the door not bothering to lock it. not like anyone is gonna come home to stop me. I walk up to my mirror and try to think of any reason not to just end it. I look at my face and I only see my oversized nose, small lips, and dull lifeless eyes. my gaze moves to my stomach. nothing but fat. tears start streaming down my face. why me?

I try to think of anyone who would care if I was not here. Tyler, no. Katlin, nope. Jake, ha never!... after going through everyone I know no one will care. not a living soul. I slowly make my way to the medicine drawer. I grab a random bottle of pills, not even looking at the label. I poor them all out into my shacking hand. Without second thought I swallow them.

Instantly everything gets blurry. Woah! I try I walk to my bed but it keeps getting father away. I look toward the wall and it was all different colors. I reach out for it but as soon as my hand touches the surface of it turn to bugs causing me to fall into it. I was now falling into a dark out of nothing but when I look up I see the bathroom. I am so confused at this point I just close my eyes. my fogy thoughts somehow end up on the future. what would happen if I stay alive? The more I think about it the more I get excited I could be happy , then I look into the darkness that I am falling into and know that I am dieing. Tears fall as I climb toward the toilet. by the time I reach it my breathing has become very difficult and I don't how long I have left. I shove two fingers into my mouth. I feel already dead as I puck. I look down and see a red color on the floor and know I am done. I can't be on this earth much longer so I just lie down and let the darkness take over.