The One that Got Away
This isn't a perfect love story. We definitely do not have a perfect relationship - we fight (a lot), we cry, we break up then we laugh, we kiss and make out. We have been like this for 5 years already. We started when we were in high school. We were inseparable. Until that one time in college, he decided to join the military. It was hard. Really hard for the both of us. We were three years long back then. He had to go the military training and stuff. We barely talked. We only had the chance to see each other during his vacations. And that was when we started having loop holes in our relationship. But we didn't give up. We kept on giving each other unending chances.
But what if.. what if the other one falls apart? What if the other one finds someone new? What if the other falls in love with someone while the other was away? Can we still give each other chances?
Well.. what happened was.. those what ifs happened.
I fell apart. I found someone new. I fell in love. Would he still give me another chance?
"Hey." His hoarse voice greeted. "Why call so early?" He added. It really sounded like I woke him up. Of course, it's only 5:00 in the Sunday morning.
I almost shed a tear as I heard his morning voice. "It's sunday and your day is my day!" I tried to sound cheerful. I heard him let out a chuckle. I sighed. "I miss you." My voice cracked.
"I love you." He answered back. I couldn't help but let go of the tears already. It's been a year since the last time we've spent the morning together. Realizing every waking day that he's not next to me breaks me apart. Hearing him say that he loves me simply overwhelms me.. and guilts me.
"I love you too." That was true. I really love him.. too much. But have you ever experienced something really weird? And stupid?
Something like you damn love someone so badly that it hurts not being with him. Have you ever felt like you are being ripped apart simply because you miss him so much? Have you not wished for the pain to go away?
I did. I did feel all of that because of him. I love him too much. Too much that I had started falling in love with somebody else.
"Go back to sleep." I told him as he started his heavy breathing.
"Hmm?"
"Tulog ka pa. Call me when you wake up." I said while sniffing.
"Are you crying?" He asked. And with that, my tears automatically fell like as if there's no tomorrow. "I'm sorry." He added.
"Okay lang. I just really miss you."
"I miss you, too."
"Go back to sleep. I'll sleep with you." I said while wiping my wet cheeks.
"I love you, baby. I'll be home soon." He murmured before he started snoring.
"I love you, too." I whispered before ending the call.
Talking to him didn't make any difference. Oh yea, it did - it made me feel worse. I took a deep breath and tried to stop myself from crying again. But I just can't. I could feel stabs on my chest. I could feel my heart breaking.
I caught my breath as I felt the matress move, and then I felt a warm hug on my belly as I felt him warm breath on the back of my neck.
I wiped my tears away. Yes, I am not alone. I am with him. But why do I feel lonely? I took a deep breath as I held his hands. He's still asleep and I am glad he is. I am glad he didn't hear me talking to Liam, my 5-year-long boyfriend. Although he knows, I still can't bear to see him get hurt. He loves me dearly and I don't want him to get hurt. I love him. But I love Liam more.
Nakakatawa, hindi ko alam kung kanino ako nagccheat. Kay Liam ba o kay France, my other guy.
Isa ako sa mga babae na nagwawala kapag nakakanood ng mga palabas na may ibang babae ang boyfriend o asawa nila. Isa ako sa mga babae na galit sa mga kabit na malalandi. Isa ako sa mga babae na ayaw sa mga taong nangangaliwa.
I am a one-man woman - or was a one-man woman. I used to love Liam alone. Sya lang ang lalaki ko. Sya lang ang pinagutuunan ko ng pansin. Sakanya umiikot ang mundo ko. Sya lang ang pinaglalaanan ko ng oras. Sakanya lang ako lumalapit tuwing may problema ako. Sya lang, walang iba..
