The next morning my eyes slowly fluttered open. I could feel the warm sun burning on my face. It felt nice. It had been a while since I had actually been able to sleep. I was surprised I even slept at all. I had cried just like any other night, but somehow I drifted to sleep. Something was different. Maybe it was the fact that I saw Fenris before I went to bed. Something didn't seem right... I suppose that Bodhan was just letting me sleep in. My chambers were after all usually quiet. I sat up in my bed and looked around. I had forgotten to change last night so I was still in some of my armor. I moved over and let my feet slowly dangle off the bed. Varric had often made fun of me for being too short to reach the floor from my bed. He had no room to talk though; he was almost as short as my bed. Thinking that made me giggle. Although I was no dwarf, I was rather short for a human. Maybe around 4'10. I sat there for quite a bit just thinking about things. I hoped off of my bed before I let my mind drift to the thought of Fenris again. I walked downstairs with my hair in a messy ponytail. Bodahn was standing at the foot of the stairs as usual and greeted me with a bright smile. I gave him a tired and weak smile, but it was the best I could do. I really didn't have many reasons to smile anymore, yet somehow I was still able to. I walked over and sat by Frodo. He lay in front of the fireplace, sound asleep. For a Mabari he was usually a very peaceful pup. I lightly scratched behind his right ear, causing him to slowly look up at me. I smiled casually at him. "Good morning boy." He barked quietly in return. He was obviously tired, and I did not blame him. I stood up and walked back to my room allowing him to sleep some more. I grabbed the rest of my armor and put it on. It was much heavier than my finery and practically wiped any chance to "relax" from my body. I walked to the nearest mirror, and attempted to fix my tangled hair. After finally getting it put into an acceptable ponytail I set off for Hightown. I had no missions so far, and so I was able to just walk around. It was a nice change of pace after having to constantly help with both Meredith and Orsino. Even though I had sided with Meredith, in the end, Meredith had lost her mind and left me no choice but to attack. Everywhere I went I saw the noble women with their children and suitors. I sighed heavily. I was almost certain that I was the only woman in Hightown without someone to call my own. As I continued to walk I ran into Aveline. She was out at the market with Donnic and their daughter Blair. I was so glad that Aveline was finally able to be happy again. She had found a love like no other. She never forgot about Wesley though... I'm sure this is what he would have wanted for her. It's odd knowing that Aveline is a mother now. She was a pain in the ass during her pregnancy. "Hawke if you don't hurry up, I swear I will pop this child out of my womb and give you a proper beating!" She would often yell at me. I laughed remembering the struggle of having to deal with a constantly moody Aveline. She wasn't very good with names either. I had suggested the name Blair, as it meant "warrior on the battlefield." At first she wasn't very fond of the name, but it grew on her. Blair was an adorable baby with fiery scarlet pigtails. She looked very similar to her mother, but also had many features of her father. "Hawke, it is good to see you again." Aveline said with a kind but respectful smile. "You as well Aveline. It sure has been a while." I said returning the smile. "Indeed." She replied. "Donnic, has it been hard stepping in as Captain of The Guard?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. "Very, I'm not sure how my wife has handled it so easily." He laughed. "Don't worry dear; you won't be there much longer. As soon as I am able, I will return to the Barracks!" Aveline said also laughing. Suddenly Blair looked at me and squealed with excitement as though she had just realized I was there. Being as Aveline was the only one of my companions to have had a child so far, I had grown quite fond of the little tyke. "Hawke! Hawke!" She looked up at me with her hazel-brown eyes and her arms in the air, gesturing for me to hold her. I picked her up and she smiled brightly. "I've missed you Giggles!" I said as I hugged her tightly. "Giggles" was a nickname that Varric had given to Blair as an infant because she was constantly giggling with joy. "I missed you too Hawke!" She said and tightly wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. I could hear Aveline laugh. "You know Hawke, I've always been jealous that she only does that to you." She said laughing a bit more. Donnic laughed as well. Blair continued to hug me tightly. "Giggles, I'm afraid I have to go sweetie, Hawke has some important things to do." I said to her as sweetly and kindly as possible. "Aww! But I just got to see you!" She said making a pouty face and crossing her arms in disappointment. "I know, but I have to go on an adventure! Cheer up Giggles! I'll visit you soon!" I said smiling brightly. I handed her back to Aveline. "Bye Bye Hawke! Make sure you come to see me soon! Don't take long because I might fall asleep!" Blair said frantically waving at me. "Take care Hawke." Aveline said while laughing at Blair's comment, and with that I walked away. I continued to aimlessly wander around Hightown. Eventually I ended up in Lowtown. I hadn't seen Varric in a while so I headed to the Hanged Man for a visit. I could hear the music from the familiar tavern and smiled. I'd had many memories from within the walls of the drunkard filled building. I entered the tavern and smiled again at well-known scent of ale. Though my smile didn't last long and was quickly washed from my face. Isabela and Fenris sat alone at a table laughing and talking. I should have been expecting what I saw, but the thought hadn't crossed my mind. They were together, and there was nothing I could do to change that. Awkwardly, I tried to walk past the boisterous couple. Luckily they hadn't noticed me in between their risqué smooching. It was depressing to see the man I loved in the arms of another, but he was happy, and there was nothing I would want more than to see him smile daily. I walked up the stairs of the tavern and into Varric's room. I didn't knock for I had no need. I had come to think of Varric as family, and casually invited myself in. I was relieved to see that he wasn't busy with anything. "And what brings me the pleasure of having a visit from The Champion of Kirkwall?" He said greeting me with a smile. "I'm not here on business, I have just come to check up on things, maybe have a drink or two." I said smiling as well. "Princess, you know drinking is business, but if you're buying, I won’t refuse the offer!" He said laughing. Varric had started to call me "Princess" because it was the meaning of my name "Sarah". He kindly accepted my offer and we headed to the bar bench. We talked casually. Not much had changed between us. He was still the sarcastically loving and respectable friend that I had met almost 7 years ago on the streets of Hightown. He laughed at an awful poet as he recited his undying love for Isabela. We mocked some of the things he said. "Your eyes are like bumblebees, flying into the window of my soul." I said laughing. "My favorite was, "Your lips are like the wings of sparrows. Red ones. With no feathers." Varric said laughing a bit louder. Some of the things that poet said were unbelievably hysterical. We continued to laugh, and before I knew it, it was past midnight. "Well Princess, I think it’s time for you to get going." Varric said. "Oh my, I didn't even realize the time. It went by so quickly. Well I had fun, let us do this again sometime." Saying that I stood up. "Hold on a second Hawke! You can't walk home by yourself." He said laughing as he grabbed my arm. He sent someone to get Bodahn as he was too drunk and therefore in no shape to walk me home. As I waited for Bodahn, I noticed that Fenris sat alone. Curiously, I walked over and sat by him. He said nothing, and continued to stare at his glass of wine. I had secretly hoped that Isabela had finally given up on their love, but I knew that was not likely. Just a few hours earlier, I had seen the laughing and kissing like a newlywed couple. "Hawke, would you walk me home?" He eventually asked, breaking the silence. "What?" I said and I turned to look at him. "I know I normally walk you home, but I’m a bit out of it, and I'm not sure I could walk myself home." He said with his cheeks flustered. I wasn't sure if that was because of the drink or the fact he was embarrassed to admit his defeat. "Of course I will." I said laughing a bit. "Thanks... Sarah." He said. I smiled as I felt the butterflies in my stomach. He had never called me by my first name. It was always just Hawke. I stood up and threw Fenris' arm around my shoulder. "Come on...” I said laughing. As I dragged him home he randomly mumbled things. "Hawke..?" He said after a while. "Yes..?" I said curious of what he would say. "Have you ever realized that you’re beautiful..?" He said bluntly. I could yet again feel my cheeks flush a bright red. "You're drunk...” I said laughing it off. "No, I’m being honest." He said smirking. "Whatever elf, save that talk for your pirate lady Isabela." I said still laughing. "But she's no fun. She doesn't blush when I call her beautiful." He said looking me in the eyes. I was even more embarrassed knowing that he had seen me blush. I didn't say anything. "Why do you blush so easily Hawke?" He asked once again smirking. "I... I don't know Fenris.." I said trying hard to hide my reddened cheeks. He just smiled at me. Note to self; do not take a drunken Fenris home alone, I thought to myself. Suddenly he stopped. Standing straight he grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. "You really look beautiful in the moonlight Hawke." He said looking straight into my eyes. "Stop Fenris. You're Drunk! You belong to Isabela and I will not stab her in the back no matter how much I like y-" I stopped mid-sentence realizing my feelings were overflowing and ready to poor out of my mouth. "Do you like me Sarah?" He asked? I didn't say anything. We just stood there with our faces inches apart in the dark silence of the night. "Come on Fenris." I said and again I put his arm around my shoulders, and hauled him home. "Good-night Fenris." I said leaving him at his doorstep. I was too flustered to wait for his reply so I quickly turned and walked towards my estate. I heard his door open and close and I knew that he had walked into his mansion. "I wonder if he really felt that way...” I whispered to myself. The cold breeze of the night blew onto my face, causing me to shiver. I quickly realized it was more than a breeze. "Magic...” I mumbled and turned around quickly drawing my blade. I stabbed the Apostate mage in the chest as he fell to the ground. Running over the body, I flipped through the air and perfectly sliced my sharpened blade into the skull of another apostate mage. I could feel the adrenaline rising up in my blood. I could feel a sharp pain slice across my cheek. An arrow had barely skimmed the side of my right cheek. Turning around I struck the archer in the chest and twisted my blade. "Worthless scums...” I muttered and walked away back to my estate. "Glad to see your back my lad-" Bodahn had started but once he saw my cheek he stopped. "My lady... You’ve been struck." He said pointing to the open wound on my face. I wiped the blood from my cheek, but Bodahn had insisted he patch it up. As I sat on the stairs, Bodahn cleaned my wound and placed a rag on my cheek. "Now you keep that rag on there until you go to sleep okay?" He said. I nodded my head and stood up. Walking up the stairs, I headed towards my room. I plopped down onto my bed. I wasn't very tired, but I lay down on my bed anyways. His words kept replaying in my head. "Hawke, have you ever realized that you’re beautiful?" "You really look beautiful in the moonlight Hawke." "Do you like me Sarah?" I wondered if he really meant the things that he said. "Of course he didn't... He was drunk, that's all there is to it." I whispered to myself. I turned over in my bed and closed my eyes. I tried not to think too much of it, and hoped that my mind would let me rest. I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter. "Stop it Sarah! He didn't mean those things! You have no chance with him!" I yelled to myself. Yet again the tears began to flow. Why does love have to be so complicated?! I lay there on my bed in my finery and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep... I had to know if he meant those things. As I argued with myself I wondered what he was doing right now. With that thought, I closed my eyes and quietly asked "Maker... Please let me sleep." And with that my thoughts drifted away into my dreams. My dreams in where I could be happy and that was the one thing no one could take away from me...
