The girl by the red flowers

Where are you?

My pen rests on the paper. My hand won't move. I stare at the blank sheet, while my mind wonders back to the past. Ever since I found out who she is, writing her became more and more difficult to the point where I can't even put a single word on the paper. My hands are trembling. Tears are forming in my eyes. Flashes of the past keep appearing in my head.

She was crying. Her hands were covered in blood...

I snap back to reality at the sound of tears falling on my desk. Shortly after, my feather fell to the ground. The sound filled the room as it cuts through the silence.

This is hopeless. In defeat, I let myself fall on the bed and swiftly fall to sleep.

I haven't written Mira for a while now. Terren has given me her last letter since I've been trying to avoid her. Both still don't know it's me who's writing the letters. When I read the letter I was heartbroken. I never want to hurt her, but no matter how hard I try; I just can't write her, let alone come near her.

Suddenly, I fall to the ground with a loud thud. I was so distracted that I didn't see the woman in front of me. Even though I bumped into her, she is still standing perfectly still. I should really pay more attention when I'm delivering mail. Especially in a place as busy as Tera City. The letter I was holding is now dancing away in the wind. I quickly stand up, excuse myself and run after it.

Due to my short height, I couldn't really reach the letter. Luckily there is a passerby who can. The person reaches the letter out to me. As I take it, my attention went from the letter to the person who's giving it to me.

Mira.

Our eyes are locked together. Neither of us knows what to say. Both our hands are still gripping the envelope. After a short moment of silence that felt like an eternity, I pulled the letter from her hand.

"Thank you."

I turn without looking at her and walk as fast as I can without making it seem like I'm running from her.

"Wait!"

But I was already lost in the crowd.

Today felt like the longest day delivering mail and I'm glad it's over. My feet are carrying me mindlessly through the forest towards my house.

Suddenly I hear the ruffle of leaves beneath someone's feet as they walk towards me. My head turns towards the noise and there's Mira. Apparently, she's been waiting for me here. She's looking at me with a stern face, but I can see she's struggling.

"Why are you avoiding me?!"

She was waiting, expecting an answer I cannot give.

"Or did you just talk to me because it's your job?"

Tears are forming in her eyes. The wind is softly blowing her hair to the side and a little in her face. For a moment the only noise came from the wind in the trees' crests.

"Everyone ignores me, but you didn't. You were kind to me when nobody else was. But now that your friend isn't writing anymore, you don't have to be anymore!"

The tears are silently dripping of her chin.

"Do you really hate me?"

Desperate eyes are staring at me. She isn't even trying to keep a strong appearance anymore. Still all words evade me, but I can't just stare back. I force myself to say something, anything.

"I don't hate you at all, Mira! I just..."

No, I can't fall silent now!

"This is all my fault. That guy still wants to write you. It's me that's been avoiding you.

Her eyebrows went up and her mouth is agape. She didn't expect that answer.

"Why?"

There's no escaping this situation.

"B-Because, seeing you makes me think back... to the incident."

I'm struggling to hold back the tears. Mira is still staring at me and in an instant, her stunned face turns into a sad one.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

I swallow trying to reclaim myself.

"It's not fair for me to associate you with what happened. I should be the one apologizing."

She looks up again and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I'm glad you told me. Thank you."

Her smile is more genuine now and she seems happy again. I thought seeing her again would make the bad memories even worse, but instead, the opposite happened. Seeing her smile at me like that makes me feel warm and relaxed inside. A feeling I haven't felt in years.

I've made up my mind. If writing her will make her smile like that again, then that's what I'm going to do again!

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Ah the romance, the drama, the mystery...

Isn't it so cheezy! Just the way I like it (-;

Next part we'll be exploring "the incident".