Galactic Couchsurfing and Character Development

1 // Use Code Beginnings

Leaving home was not a big decision for Two-Guns. Home had never been a place they had particularly loved - not that they didn't have good memories of the place, they just never really felt that strongly about it. Love, Two-Guns had decided long ago, was a strong feeling, and strong feelings just weren't very them.

Their last day at home had been uneventful - just like any other. No-one knew they were leaving. They sat and ate breakfast with their parents, as usual, went to work, as usual, and ate dinner with their parents, as usual.

The plan was to slip out unnoticed in the dead of night and catch the Midnight Interplanet to Athos, the main planet of the system. Just disappear like they had never been there in the first place. They left a note, of course. (Sentimentality, Two-Guns had decided not so long ago, was a suitably not-strong emotion, and could be allowed on special occasions.) The note was brief; it explained that Two-Guns had left, was not missing, and would be perfectly safe staying with a friend from college in Turtle, a planet a few systems over. Which was a lie. It also said to leave Two-Guns alone. The exact words were; I know you love me, and I know this will be hard, but seriously, I cannot stand this planet, I need to leave, don't contact me. A nice balance between emotional and blunt, Two-Guns had decided, before remembering that emotional wasn't really their style. They didn't change the note though.

Sneaking out of the house was easy. Two-Guns had done it many times before to visit friends in different cities. They'd even stolen their parents' car for it on occasion, but not tonight. Tonight was a night for walking. Sentimentality, it was decided, could stretch to seeing the stars of home one last time; could stretch to walking down the highway surrounded by the endless swaying ocean of space-grass and space-wheat; could stretch to watching the home they'd known for so many years fade away with every footstep, the old wooden building soon disappearing beyond the horizon.

Bye, fuckers.

The walk to the spaceport took a few hours, but it still wasn't light by the time Two-Guns arrived. They bought their ticket to Athos, showed their documents to security, and boarded the What-We-Call-Overnight shuttle to the future.

You may be wondering how someone with the name Two-Guns gets so easily through inter-planetary security. If not you're wondering what kind of weirdo calls their child Two-Guns. And if you're not wondering either of those then you already know Two-Guns is not their real name.

Two-Guns was named by their parents Digby Ramsbottom. Digby on its own is not a horrible name, they thought. It has that kind of old-fashioned twang that makes it anachronistic yet ... fun. Eccentric. There is no way anyone can turn the name Ramsbottom around like that. It's objectively terrible. It's the kind of name you use to make fun of upper-class aristocrats killing animals on country estates. And so Two-Guns Poprocks was born. Named so for their two guns.

On Pathos, Two-Guns' home planet, many home owners take to defending their land and property from the small eldritch abominations on the planet with weapons most people associate with the cowboys of the old wild west of Earth. As a farming planet, it only felt right for its citizens to pick up revolvers to defend themselves from the tentacled monstrosities that roamed about the countryside. And some people made their living killing these beasts so others wouldn't have to.

Two-Guns was not one of these people. Two-Guns was, by trade, a journalist, sent out to report on the deaths of these creatures and the heroic deeds of the people who killed them. Two-Guns' name came from the two guns they carried to defend themselves during these outings. They were known across the planet as 'the two-gun kid who follows the beast-killers about'. And so Two-Guns became their name.

They also really liked pop-rocks. It was just a really cool word.

Another thing people on Pathos take to is legally changing their name to a well-known nickname, if they have one. It began back before the beast-hunters became organised; many were better known by the names they chose which were often based on things they were known for. They ended up with names like Eye-Stealer and Goo-Smasher. The government decided it was easier just to call them that officially and so the tradition began. Not having many friends and completely unaware of their own renown around the planet, Two-Guns was gravely surprised when they were offered a legal name change. Tales of the 'two gun kid' had spread far and wide, enough that their fans were beginning to demand they change to the moniker. Two-Guns remained blissfully unaware.

"You should change your name to Two Gun Kid, kid," he'd said.

"Okay, but, consider; Two-Guns Poprocks," Two-Guns had replied.

"That's not what people call you."

"But it's close enough, right?"

"I guess. Whatever, kid."

And that's how Two-Guns got through security so easily. The guard recognised them from BeastlyTV. Or it was on their official paperwork. Most of the guards, on Pathos at least, didn't really care that much. Everyone was too preoccupied by the weird creatures that came out of the ground to try and blow up a space shuttle. Things were different in other parts of the galaxy though.

After the war that left the Coleridge system alone and isolated, which was roughly thirty years before Two-Guns was born, the galaxy had learned to deal with the occasional attacks that came from its people and their supporters. The government that ruled over the whole system had been charged with various allegations, mostly stemming from the totalitarian regime it held over the population. There had been a rebellion, the rebels got out of the system, and the Coleridgian government had waged war to find them. Their army was beaten and pushed back into their own system, and they have lived mostly in isolation ever since, only some ambassadors leaving to negotiate trading and the fallout of terrorist attacks.

But back to Two-Guns.

"Overnight" is a relative term in space. Different parts of the galaxy define it in different ways. In the Romantic system, a large system known for its diverse imports and exports and thriving entertainment business, "overnight" is measured as 12 Byron-hours - that's 12 hours on the planet Byron. In the Dumas system, which Two-Guns was desperately trying to leave, "overnight" was a little more open. Being a backwater out-of-the-way system, no-one had ever bothered to create a standard day/night cycle for people to reference. Few people ever travelled between the planets and those that did were usually on their way out of the system. Because of this, "overnight" was usually measured as the current night length of the planet you were leaving. Sounds simple, but as well as factoring in seasons, "overnight" also counted smog. If you were leaving the capital of D'Artagnion in the middle of winter, an "overnight" flight would be ten times longer than one from the rural areas of Pathos in the summer.

Two-Guns had a very short flight to Athos. It was summer and they were coming from a rural area of Pathos so - short flight.

It was autumn when they arrived in Athos. The rain was tumbling from the sky in multicoloured droplets, as it did. This rain wasn't made of water, nothing harmful, but not normal water. The sky was a deep, dark green - the colour of tropical rain forests on Earth. Electricity streaked across them in sparks of white, blue and gold. The tallest buildings pushed up into the sky, some breaking into the clouds and pulling the electric sparks to follow them way into the ground, where Two-Guns knew were basements upon basements as deep into the ground as the buildings were tall.

Watching out of the window of the Land-Snake that took them across the city to the intersystem starport, Two-Guns watched the people of Athos go about their business. Athos was a trading planet - all the finances of the system went through here. On the ground below, they could see all sorts of strange people they didn't see on Pathos and hadn't seen since college, all dressed in the smartest business clothes of their cultures. The Dumas system was home to all sorts of creatures nativley, and even more had moved their to take up financial positions on Athos that the surrounding agricultural and production planets couldn't provide.

The Land-Snake made the journey across the city. Disembarking at the starport, Two-Guns felt out of place among all the business-people travelling in and out of the city. They were just a third rate journalist from a backwater shithole surrounded by some of the best minds of the surrounding systems. Oh well, they thought, I'm sure Romantics love an underdog.

Tickets to Wilde weren't cheap, everyone was trying to make it big in the galaxy; write a book, act in a cinematic, be a star, yadda, yadda, yadda. Two-Guns wasn't looking for fame. Not money either. Two-Guns was looking for friends, a new family.

Not really. They were looking to scam as many rich assholes out of as much of their fortunes as they could. They'd figured they might need a little help, from people they could trust, and they trusted more shady people they'd met in college more than anyone worthwhile they'd known back home.

And besides, Two-Guns had no problem with a bit of galactic couch-surfing.