Destined to Meet but not to be Together

Baestfriend

I often mistaken fairy tales into reality. I always dreamed being a princess loved by a king and a queen most especially -- a prince; with a very common ending -- a happy ending. They say it isn't the end of thestory when the characters are not yet happy, but for my story, I doubt it. Farewells don't always go with tears on both sides. Sometimes, farewells and last goodbyes are the path for happiness. They won't start with smiles but with tears and as time passes it would be transformed into great joy.

A comment on my post in a famous artist group was the open door of his love for me. That moment I wasn't really expecting we would end up this long. Frankly saying, he's not my type of guy by looking at his profile on his social media account. But from that time he started sending private messages on me. First on chats, not a day he fails to send me messages up until we exchange digits and it all went that way. We haven't seen each other yet but thanks to that artist group meet up. He found all ways just to attend the said meeting and to see me in person is the main reason. For him, the first time he saw me on that day was love at first sight but for me, it was chills on first dates.

His fantasies on me started to fuel up after that day, he even became eager to make a move on me consistently hoping for me to be moved. Until one day he suddenly gave us a label, that we're --- bestfriends. Common roots of good relationships I thought, just like the song "Lucky by Jason Mraz" says, but I never knew I thought wrong. It was not that effective all the time. Sometimes it's a root of being checkmated in the end.

Our social connections went that way until it was almost a year from that first day. Time's really swift and unpredictable but rare times, it's a traitor.

Often times, I was thinking, given a beauty is a curse just like what Helen of Troy thought. The fortune teller weren't wrong from his reading on me. Men keep on chasing me and my best friend is trying to keep his jealousy. He has a right to be envious because somewhat he's my best friend but being jealous for time, affection and attention I'm giving to those guys, I think he has no right.

It is my life and I control everything I do. It's not wrong if I'm entertaining those guys most especially if I don't have someone romantically special in my life. So I just let it pass to save our relationship but because jealousy devoured him he wasn't able to control his feelings. It choked me alive. He did a wrong move which destroyed my trust and stained the relationship.

Life is like a Chess game, one wrong move, you'll be checkmated then it's over. Once it's over, you can't do it all over. We should be careful in every step we take and in every move we make to escape from regrets. By that wrong move he had made, I started to grow cold but still he keeps on warming up and filling the gaps in between. Because I started missing him, realizations now popping out of nowhere. A little more, just a little more wait and effort my heart will be moved.

If only he haven't done that thing then there will be a chance of having an us. Maybe he's not the one or it can be I am his right one but then the timing was wrong. Because a right person at a wrong time may be the right one but not the perfect one. People come and go, there are ones who will stay but not any longer. There are also destined to meet each other but not to be together and we are the perfect example. We met for a certain reason and that reason is to learn from each other. To get to know the value of perfect timing. To get to know the essence of being careful on every step and move and to get to know the importance of every relationship.

That night when we are intended to talk and fix the holes and try to erase the stains was the end of our heartbreakinf chapter. Instead of fixing we did exiting. I remembered I started the conversation, breakig the awkward silence between us because I know he likes to explain something but he keeps on diverting the topic. I stopped talking breathing heavily in that awkward silence and feeling his despair as he keeps on biting his lower lip to prevent those tears from falling. Then a little while I suddenly notice him wiping his eyes. Obviously, it was tears and not some minimal habits.

Until from time to time hehis touching his eyes and wiped it. He's still silent, breathes heavily and bits his lips. My heart cannot contain the pain he is bearing. I badly wanted to comfort him and say "everything's gonna be okay" but if I did so, I would end up to be a liar. I have no right to ask him if he's okay because obviously he is not. I cannot wipe his tears because he might drown in pain as i would show affection ang sweet acts again. So what I did was just close my eyes, played my fingers to diveft my attention. The faces of our backs parting ways ended that chapter. He sent me his last message full of sweet words of apology, almost cried because I felt his pain. Then I sent him this message:

" Thank you for loving me even though I wasn't able to love you romantically in return. Thank you for giving care for me even though sometimes I fail to care how much you've cared about me. Thank you for the happiness, the joy, the memories and everything. I haven't regretted all these things. For so many times you've made me happy. Trust me, you're oneof a kind guy but maybe we are not really the perfect fit. I wish you all the best everyday. Let us make time heal all wounds when we'll meet soon we'll share smiles again and not like strangers."

Obviously, I made him cry again. But he promised it to be the last and reminded me that he will love me always. A very genuine love but because he's not the right one for me and it's not the right time for us, we ended the chapter. It was full of tears but it is the end. It is not happy but these tears will soon become joy. Letting go is the open door for freedom and happiness.