Stargazer

Part I. The End

I knew it was the end. It had to be. The end couldn't feel any other way than this.

I felt smaller. I had nothing to feel with, sure, so I couldn't really tell for certain, but the universe's forces had a way of acting on me, even after I'd lost my body. I could feel my essence tightening, and the core of my soul getting denser and denser. This is it, I thought. In moments, I'll disappear. This is the end. I would die with the universe, as the universe intended me to. In a way, I thought that should be comforting, but new feeling had awoken in me that pleaded with the universe for more time, for more things to see.

I miss the stars, I thought miserably. If only I'd died with them, a long time ago.

Suddenly, I felt it. I was at the center--the hot, compact center, where everything was happening. I had flashbacks to when I was being burned alive by my home star. This was like that feeling, except infinitely more powerful, with infinitely more heat. It scorched me in ways I can't describe, forging my soul into new being. That was when I realized that I was feeling, and not in the way the universe tricked me into sensing its forces before, but in a way where I could feel the burning sensation on skin and throughout my entire entity. I knew I had a body again. It was murky and unformed still, but it made me feel and remember things like I hadn't in a long time. The feelings lasted for what could've been forever, though I knew it wasn't actually that long. Then again, any frame of reference I had from my ethereal past in regards to time was also gone, so I guess I couldn't really tell.

There was nothing, and then there was something. I was something. I was everything.

Things began to cool. Things began to expand. Things began to happen. I don't know how else I can explain it. In moments there was light, and a dull pain began in my chest, as if something were being pulled out of me. I could see my solid, physical hands, though they were nothing like I'd ever seen before. They're creator's hands, I thought, but I didn't know where that thought came from. They were clasped together firmly, while little wisps of light made their ways through the spaces between my fingers. I opened my palms and cupped them to see what was inside more clearly.

A ball of light rested snugly in my hands. Compared to the burning heat of before, this warmth was tame and comfortable, and I found myself holding it close. It was a star. I knew from my experience with stars that it was fiery and powerful, but while it was here, it seemed delicate and precious to me. It was the only sphere of flame in the entire expanse of the cosmos right now--it was the cosmos--and it was here, in my hands. I couldn't help but think that it was the most spectacular thing I'd ever come across. Sure, I'd seen brighter, and I'd certainly seen bigger, but I felt a sense of possession with this star. It was mine, and I wanted to protect it and care for it at whatever cost. The dull pain inside me continued. It was growing, but I ignored it.

But what's happening? I thought. This is the end. It's supposed to be the end. There are no more stars, and there is no more anything.

But a voice in my head calmly replied. There is no end. Only new places to begin.

I am the beginning.

The star grew hotter. I could tell it yearned to be free. Knowing this, I released it from my hands. It floated away, and I reached myself towards it, letting it take parts of me as it went. I watched it grow in the empty space and change into something brilliantly new. My heart went out to the star, and soon, my tears did, too. I let it pull me towards it. I was powerful enough now to stay out of its center, so I wasn't scared. It would never hurt me. It just wanted to show me something.

It grew, and it kept growing, until its light made the whole sky bright for miles in all directions. It stayed there in front of me, beaming at me, as if to ask if I was proud. I was proud, prouder than I could ever express. This was the beginning.

The cosmos are yours. The voice returned. Speak to them, and they will heed to you. They must, for they are you.

It was then that I realized I had a voice. I had a mouth, however foreign to me it seemed now, and I had cords in my throat that craved to speak.

I didn't recognize my voice when I used it, but it was strong, and it was clearly mine. I wondered if I had this voice long ago, before this new beginning. I wondered if I could ever know for sure.

"I am Stargazer," I said to the sphere of light in front of me, still existing proudly. "I am the force that made you, and I am the force that continues to fuel you and your existence. You are the first of everything. I will..." I faltered, but the words that came next shone brightly in my mind. "I will name you Beginning. And now that you are named, you may present yourself to me."

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Heyo, it's the author here! Thanks so much for reading this first full part of Stargazer! *virtual high-fives and thumbs-ups* If you liked this part, please consider giving it a vote! I always appreciate your comments, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts about the story! If you have any predictions, also, don't be afraid to share them. All your feedback really helps me out as a storyteller and Wattpadder, so thank you!

A brief open-ended question to be discussed in the comments if you feel like it: What's the deal with Stargazer? What do you guys think of her, and do you have any theories about her or her situation? (I'm not going to confirm or deny anything, but I'd like to know what y'all think. :3)