Falling Down (Percy Jackson)

Chapter Two

Nico

He had lost it by the time I got there. And had reverted back to cutting. He was in the bathroom, with a razor that had been pulled out of a shaving razor in his hands and he was bleeding, shaking from crying so hard.

I grabbed him from behind and it was kind of a hug, but it was more so getting him away from anything in there and getting the razor out of his hand.

And once he realized it was me and that I was here, he just started to constantly mutter that he was sorry over and over again. I found some cloth bandage and started to wrap him up.

"Hey," I started off, really glad that I came here now, "it's okay, Percy. That's why I came here. You've helped me out a lot, I want to return the favor."

Percy tried to scratch at where he now had bandages and I grabbed his hand to stop him and he looked at me like he didn't think I'd stop him from hurting himself.

"You're not going to hurt yourself," I told him that right away as I held onto his hand, ignoring the fact that I was holding his hand. My mind was elsewhere, not on the fact that I like him. "Okay? I'm not letting you do that. There are better ways to cope with pain. You know that."

And he didn't know how to respond. What I said conflicted Percy and he was stuck between being touched and guilted.

I sat down next to him on his bed and he knew he needed something for his hands to do, so he decided that my hands worked to play with. Which I wasn't thinking about right now. I was worried about him. I wanted to make sure he was going to be okay. Or at least somewhat better so he can be trusted alone.

"What happened?" I asked, knowing it's better if he talks about it.

Percy shrugged.

"I don't know," the son of Poseidon explained to me, "we were texting and you said you saw everything but you had no intention of like ruining my life with it. You didn't freak out. You like came to me about it and you were genuinely concerned and that like... I'm not used to that. It didn't take me long to figure out that everything I told Grover went to Annabeth. And my brain just said that you weren't being honest, even though I myself knew that, and it set off my anxiety. Which set off my depression. Which has been just kind of sitting there for years now. It had a lot to say and uh... Well I went to make sure I didn't look like shit and I just lost it and yeah... You saw the rest."

He paused for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Percy apologized once more and said anything before I could insist it was fine again, "I shouldn't have scared you like that. I know that I wasn't in my right mind, but I know better than to do that to myself anymore and I did it anyways. I'm sorry you had to see it. You shouldn't ever have to see something like that."

I gave him a hug. One he hesitantly returned.

"Maybe not," I half way agreed with him on that, "nobody should have to, you're right. But I'm glad I came when I did. I'm also glad that you trust me enough to know about all of this. It's a hard thing to do sometimes."

He nodded his head, agreeing.

"Hey, Percy," I brought up as we we're still hugging.

"Hm?"

"Do you see a therapist or a psychiatrist?"

"What? No," he answered my question as we pulled out of the hug and he continued to play with my hands, looking at them as he did so, "not anymore. I did when I was little. My sister suggested it to my parents because Dad wasn't around and when I met my dad, they pulled me out. I think they're still paying it off. It was expensive. But uh... Yeah. Sessions stopped when I started camp and it's just expensive so I never got to go back."

"Isn't there financial help for that sort of thing?" I asked, finding it weird they wouldn't have insurance for that. But Percy shrugged.

"I don't know," Percy responded, "but Paul mentioned it one day to my mom. That it wouldn't hurt to send me to a few session because of everything that happens at camp. And Mom said it was a good idea, but we can't afford it. If there's insurance, it's probably just as expensive. We don't have medical insurance. It's really expensive and a waste of money being we don't get sick that often. We just have check ups and on the occasion one of us one of us gets really sick and needs a prescription. But it's not often enough."

"That's a load of government bullshit," I insisted, trying to reassure him, "I can be a really shitty therapist if you need to talk, though. For free, of course."

He gave a half assed smiled.

"I appreciate the offer."

He ended up texting Annabeth, and I helped him through that. He told her that he couldn't handle their relationship anymore. It was hurting him more than it was helping him. He'd call and say it, but he sounded like shit right now.

She took it horribly, of course. Insisted he was being selfish and that he doesn't care about her and didn't think that maybe it helped her. But by then, he just told her that right now he was allowed to be selfish. And he was.

Percy went to go get a snack, and I went out with him to see what they had. He seemed a little more relaxed. Knowing she wouldn't be on his ass now.

"Hey, Nico."

"Hm?" I responded from the other side of the kitchen as he looked in the cupboard for a snack.

"Thanks," Percy said as he went to grab something. "Really. You helped me out a lot today."

I smiled, feeling good to know that he was feeling a little better.

"That's what I'm here for," I responded, happy that he was a little better, "I'm glad I could actually help. Like I told you earlier, I hate to see you wake up one day and suddenly be suicidal."

•••

Percy

I was grateful for Nico, none the less. It was also kind of nice to know that he doesn't actually hate me. He's just very blunt and it comes off weirdly sometimes and we had tension in the past.

But that's gone now, and I'm glad. I've wanted to be Nico's friend for a long time coming. I'm hoping we can be friends now. Even if it's over my shitty mental health. He wasn't even bothered by me holding his hand. Even Annabeth hated when I would play with her hands. It was nice of him.

Of course, my payment was him accidentally falling asleep on the couch when we were watching a movie. I didn't realize though. Until I woke up after falling asleep to the movie.

He looked peaceful when he slept. It was a nice sight. Better than him being depressed, or sulking over Bianca's death.

I'm happy that he's been able to move on now, since she died. He's been a bit happier and more open to people. Hell, he went to me today. I didn't initiate the conversation. I didn't even have his number.

Hopefully, in time, I'll break out of my she'll like he has his.