Best Day Ever ~~An Ellie Goulding Fanfiction~~

CHAPTER 12: Collide

KAT’S POV

“Ugggghhh…” I groan raggedly, as I retch into the toilet bowl for what I pray is the last time. I hover there for a minute until the wave of nausea subsides, and then I lean myself up against the nearby wall. The tiles feel cool against my back, and even this small comfort makes me sigh with relief- especially because I’m pretty sure that my skull may actually split open at any second.

What really takes the cake this morning however, is the fact that being cooped up in here all morning is actually the appealing option; since the only alternative to sitting in this bathroom is heading out into the living room, and that means facing Ellie.

Truthfully, I’m not usually so nervous to see an ex, even if it is the very next day after we’ve broken up. I’ve been able to put on a poker face in the past and go about my business as usual. 

But with Ellie… 

All I can think of is what it will be like to see her, and not be able to touch her; and how difficult it will be talk to her, and not to say ‘babe’ or ‘baby' or any of our usual pet names. But what unnerves me more than anything, is the thought that when I look into her eyes this morning, that flicker of desire and of love that I’ve seen in every moment of our time together – that that flicker will have burnt out.

I gulp as I feel spasms tickling at my throat, and I know that I am at the edge of tears.

What if …what if when she looks at me, there’s just, nothing?

The mental image churns my stomach so bad that I think I may actually be sick again and I have to lean back over the toilet – but fortunately nothing happens and the moment passes.

I force myself to take deep breaths and calm down.

There’s no more delaying it. I think determinedly to myself; and I stand up to brush my teeth at the sink before I head out.

  

ELLIE’S POV

I hear the door creak open from somewhere inside, and I know that Kat must finally be done with the loo. I take another sip of my brew and ignore my desire to confront her about last night.

Caspy mews quietly under the blanket on my lap and pokes his head out to stare at me with open eyes.

“What?” I yell at him, still imagining Kat kissing and groping at some slutted-up tart in a bar, and I immediately feel guilty because his tiny body jerks in fear at the harshness in my voice.

“I’m so sorry, little bugger,” I coo at him, scratching him lightly behind his ears. “You know I’m not mad at you, right?” He seems distrustful for a moment but then he starts to purr lightly; although he’s still looking up at me like he wants to head in.

“Fine, fine…” I grumble, as I finish my brew and turn to head inside with him wrapped up in my arms, feeling rather sloshed as I stand up from my seat.

When I open the door the whole house smells of eggs and cinnamon French toast, and Caspy immediately runs to Kat.

The whole lot of it infuriates me and I march past Kat and enter the garage to grab another brew, slamming the door behind me as hard as I can.

The logical part of me chimes somewhere in the back of my mind and reminds me that Kat are I no longer a couple, so whatever she did or didn’t do last night shouldn’t make me angry.

Bugger that.

I storm back into the living room with my brew and an armful of firewood and make a point not to look at Kat.