Let Me In

[2] - I know what you want to say

Cheska

"I... I..."

Jose, I already know what you're trying to say. I've known about it for so long I can't remember how I found out about it. You can just say that you can't tell me if you're not yet ready, then I can understand you.

"Do you have something to say Jose?" if not, I really have to tell you something but I also can't.

"Do you have something to say Jose?" I asked once again, if not then I'll be leaving you under this damn place without saying a word.

"Just stay for a while and I'll let you leave" I should have left you right then, so that I wouldn't be in pain. You were looking from the stars above, but I'm staring directly at the star itself; your eyes are a gift from God, Jose. Not many bothers to look at them, but it's like you created another galaxy just to take my breath away.

"You know you have a beautiful name, right?" do you also know that your name is wonderful? Jose Solomon Roque, it suits you. You're my blessing and my peace    

"Frances Cheska Juliette Cumarat... Ahhh, what a refreshing name to hear." Do you know how I also disgust that name? The name that the woman gave me, the woman who left me after giving birth to me just to be with some guy.

I managed to fake a laugh because I've always known how he adores my name, of course he never knew how I hate my name – I never had the chance to tell him, so instead I blurt out, "You've always been a funny guy Jose, making me laugh and cry at the same time"

Can you still manage to make me smile after telling you the truth?

There are questions that still won't leave my mind even if I try to; will you still accept me after knowing what happened to me Jose? Will you choose to stay after knowing what kind of a person I am? Or will you stop seeing me after knowing the truth?

I can't take my eyes of off him; the longer it takes, the greedier I get. Today is not a good day to confess. It does not matter; he doesn't have to know right? I keep comforting myself with words that I know were lies. "What's bothering you for you to sigh so heavily?" I asked. Are you this bothered to see me? Am I too much to handle?

"It's nothing, how was your day by the way?" Was it really nothing, Jose? Are you really planning to tell me the truth? If yes, are you capable of handling my truth as well? "I won't be going to school anymore" and I won't be seeing you anymore.

"Why?"

"I think I don't like studying anymore" it's because I can't go there anymore.

I know that you'll be asking more questions so I told you that it's past my curfew and I need to go home. I was planning to say good bye to you – for good – because I know that we won't be seeing each other anymore, I won't appear in front of you ever again.

I sang my favorite song "Moon River" to my favorite person for the last time. Do you know that I have always loved you, Jose? Always have, and always will.

We were standing in front of my house when he suddenly stopped singing, I noticed that he wasn't looking at me rather, he was looking past me. "Why? Did you saw someone?" I think I saw him, and I think he saw me too.

You are a hundred percent sure that you were mistaken, so I bid my good bye and left you there. I was watching you from a far Jose, and I know that you weren't mistaken.

I know what you've been trying to tell... you can see dead people right?

Because I myself am already dead... and you don't need to know that.