destined. | h.s

16. jealousy?

After a month and three weeks.

Ariella’s P.O.V

Life was the usual, yet upgraded since I am now officially staying in London for college. Meeting new people and coping up was surprisingly done at ease, and one of my new good friends is Phoebe. Sometimes, I’d miss back home, but I am totally enjoying myself here in London.

Debbie and Abi’s class schedule were different with mine so we usually meet up during breaks and dismissal.

I know you probably will be asking about my friendship with Harry, we’re fine, just limited hang outs. We sneak away from crowded places and hangs sometimes in pubs and not-so crowded places, even in an abandoned apartment. Five times a month, yeah.

Good thing our classes dismissed early, so did the two’s so right now they’re busy convincing me to party like once in a while starting now, but I kept shaking my head. I never enjoyed alcoholic drinks and carelessly dancing.

“For once, enjoy here, Ariella.” That was Debbie. “Still a no.”

“For God’s sake, you’re nineteen.” Abi said. “And what’s with that?”

“Try night life.” Still I shook my head. “I’m just going to go buy a cup of coffee nearby.” I changed the topic, pointing to the place.

“Well, we’re going home and watch the show we wouldn’t want to miss, tell us when you finally made up your mind.” They said waving while walking away.

“No.” I shouted back only to be rolled by their pairs of eyes. “Maybe,” which was equivalent to not.

I looked away and walked across a few more streets and before I even reach my destination, a large crowd and flashing lights caught at the tip of my eye. I quickly looked to the direction and walked nearer and nearer.

Familiar screamed names rang against my ear once I was about a foot away to the real chaotic part, “Harry!” – “Harry here!” – “Rebecca!” – “Can I get a selfie?” I heard a few utter.

A pang and weird tingly feeling erupted somewhere in my system when I heard them mention a name, “Rebecca!” It then felt so intriguing that motivated me to shove myself to get a better vision of what was happening.

Yes, there they are, hands held by each other, I tried looking down because unfortunately the ‘Harriella’ mess wasn’t still purely cleared away. Despite, looking down, I made it to a point to still see them–I’m a spy!–and did something that sent everybody crazy, they kissed. Harry looked so comfortable with the kiss, and Rebecca smiled cheekily.

Why, why is my stomach churning? Why are tears pricking my eyes? Why do I feel like crumbling to the floor? Why do I feel hurt?

Trying to not create any scene, I slowly backed away and ran to the cafe letting the tears fall free. I hate myself, I hate myself because I am crying. I wanted to punch myself for having this emotion. I feel stabbed.

As I enter, I wiped it away and forced a smile at the waitress. “One maple latte please.” I ordered, keeping my voice from shaking. “. . . take out.”

My order was served and I left the place in an instant, ignoring the crowd from minutes ago, going back home, maybe rest for a while.

I was faced with sympathetic smiles when I was back in our place. I decided to pretend having no idea why they have those expressions, “What?”

“I saw the news.” Abi whimpered. “Oh, that, I’m used to that, ever since the choir days. Plus, I don’t have any right to be jealous or anything.” They just nodded, do I simply looked that deluded for sobbing at bit to the point it’s too evident?