Young Blood Chronicles feat. One Direction [Parody]

Part 2: The Phoenix

A/N: Woo here's part 2. Sorry if this is terrible!

One week earlier

"So... what's it supposed to be?" Louis asked his bandmates. Laying on a table before them was a shiny briefcase wide open. A light emitted from the inside of the case, as well as a mysterious... thing.

"No clue, but it looks important," Harry responded. "We have to take care of it. One of us should keep it. Personally, I think it should be me." He straightened himself in a feeble attempt to seem superior and slammed the briefcase shut.

"Why? Because you get the most solos in our songs? Because you're the favorite to the majority of our fans? Not everything revolves around you, Harry!" Niall angrily shouted. Zayn, Liam, and Louis waited patiently for their bickering to be over.

"Shut up, Niall."

"Okay," the irish boy complied.

Harry handcuffed the briefcase to his arm and left the building without a word. One by one, the others followed suit.

***

Harry strutted down the street, singing some stupid tune that he gave no shit about. Multiple times on the way he was stopped by some fans, asking for autographs or just a hair follicle. One had tugged at briefcase and attempted to open it, but after five minutes of scolding the young girl to not touch other people's belongings, she ran away crying.

On his walk, he came upon a boy on his bicycle. He was very swagalicous with his YOLO snapback, bling, and "cool story babe, now make me a sandwich" t-shirt. God damn that kid is hella rad! Harry thought. He was about to go hit up his homeboy when a woman in a ski mask emerged from behind him. The world went black when the tazer touched his neck.

When he awoke again, he was tied down to a chair and surrounded by various sharp instruments. He overheard two women with what looked to be perfect ponytails speaking among each other.

"The rest of them have been captured as well," a redhead said. "They're so fucking stupid. The blonde was too busy looking at a butterfly to notice the black van pull up right in front of him and pull him in."

"Eleanor got Louis right after she slept with him," the other blond-headed girl responded.

"What blubbering idiots. Oh well. I think our special someone is awake now," she said maliciously. A look of pure terror washed over Harry's face as one picked up a sharp axe and eyed his wrist.

"What are you doing?" The blond shrieked. "Are you cutting off his hand? We found the key and got the handcuff off of him already!"

"I know. It's purely for fun." She chopped off the boy's hand mercilessly while he screamed in agony. The bloody hand was wrapped in a towel. "Time for the real fun. Get the scalp."