So many decisions, so many choices - white roses or red. A large stage or a very large stage. Should kebabs be mutton or chicken. High heels in gold or studded with stones. Should he wear a blue suit or black one. Where should we place the chairs. How high do you want your hair tied. Red, blue, yellow, green or Barbie pink?
I spun round and round in a storm of questions - every day and night for almost a month. Just a couple of months ago I was single, working hard and meeting deadlines. My smartphone was ringing from the other room. How was it before? I didn't care about my phone - it was only a distraction from being the most productive person on the team. I ran to get it like my life depended on it. I can hear it but where is it. Oh no. It must be under all these fabrics and laces. I frantically searched as I threw stuff off the bed. There it was! It's face glowing with my fiance's name on it.
I swiped the screen. Hello
Hey! Where were you?
I'm sorry I was sitting with my family - we were having a debate about the items for the menu.
He laughed and went on to ask me about my day and tell me about his.
These were moments of peace. Moments where I got to smile and giggle and forget about all the planning. Bliss. One person who liked me just the way I was and did not want to customize me as if I were his smartphone. He didn't mind that I mixed two languages when I spoke and he thought it was cute that I used terminology from cartoons. He wouldn't tell me to shush if I hummed self-composed melodies and he wouldn't ask me to behave more my age when we were out.
Okay I have to get back to work. You be good.
I smiled and said goodbye. I stood up and made my way back to the fish market in the hall.
