Just A Kiss One-Shots

Love Letters

Tangiers, March 14th

My dearest, darling Kate

God, I miss you. So much.

Being away from you is like trying to breathe underwater.

Do you know how much I worship and adore you?

I miss watching you sleep and your soft snores (you do snore, my love – I'm sorry, but it's an incontrovertible truth). I miss waking with you and holding you wrapped in my arms until one child or other jumps on top of us – or oftentimes, all four. I miss talking with you throughout the day about the million things that make up our lives. I miss seeing you with our children. You are an amazing mother and I am so incredibly blessed that you have given me these four beautiful souls.

I miss your smile and the way your gorgeous eyes light up when you see me – it makes me feel as though I could conquer the world as long as you are by my side.

I feel your presence everywhere, imagining I hear the sweet sound of your voice and smell your scent. I live day-to-day thinking of you. When I fall asleep, I dream that you are next to me. I dream of you running your hands through my hair, down my back and over every part of my body. I want to feel every inch of you with my fingers, my lips. I imagine kissing you all over, whispering in your ear how badly I want you, our bodies entwined in a tight embrace.

I yearn for you.

The longer I am away from you, the greater is my desire to be with you again. I cherish every memory of you that rises from the depths of my heart. Know that wherever I am, you are always in my thoughts, know that I am with you yesterday and tomorrow and every day for the rest of our lives.

My darling, you bring me such joy and light. I can't imagine living my life with anyone else or loving any other woman with the depth of love I feel for you. Some days I still can't believe you chose me, said yes to me. You have been there for me through everything, good and bad. You are my inspiration and the reason I get up for work every day. You complete me.

Thank you for being my wife, my love, my life.

Your adoring husband

---

Kate sniffed and laid the letter down on the table in front of her then swiped her wet cheeks with the heels of her palms. Goddamn it, Tom! She'd known his first time going away filming without them would be an adjustment, and she didn't in any way regret encouraging him to take on roles that took him farther afield now that the children were older, but she'd also never expected to feel his absence so keenly. Granted, they hadn't been apart for more than a night or two in the eight years of their marriage and now he'd been gone for almost a month, making each day a new challenge in surviving without his familiar presence.

And she'd been coping okay. Mostly.

Some days when the children were especially trying, she'd cursed him inside her head and regretted encouraging him to go. But later, at night, when William, Lucy, Davey and Jack were at last sound asleep in their beds and once again resembled angels rather than demons, she'd reviewed her curses and known that deep in her heart she didn't really mean them. She supported Tom's career with every ounce of her being, just as he did hers, and she knew he deserved the opportunities that he'd denied himself over the past few years for the sake of their fledgling family.

It was just that she missed him so very much that at times if seemed her entire body ached with wanting him back. Wanting him near, to see the lines that crinkled around his eyes and mouth whenever he smiled or laughed, to hear the deep, rich timbre of his voice that still sent chills up and down her spine. The good kind of chills, the ones that made her hyper-aware of his presence and still occasionally stole her breath away. Though the children and her work kept her busy during the day, still her thoughts constantly found time to drift to him and wonder what he was doing just at that precise moment.

Nights, though, were bad, and the nights when he called or Skyped were the worst, for though it was sublime – for both her and the children – to see and speak to him, afterwards it only left her missing him more. That's when their bed would seem huge and cold and empty and her heart would squeeze in her chest.

And now this letter.

This adorably sweet, romantic letter from her adorably sweet, romantic husband.

The letter that made her feel loved and cherished and sad and lonely, all at once. It brought joy to her heart and wrung tears from her eyes, tossing her in a maelstrom of conflicting emotions.

Goddamn it, Tom!

---

London, March 19th

My Sweet Thomas

Today I thought of you around 30,000 times.

Well, yes, I may not be completely sure of the accuracy of that figure, but I reason that it's around half the number of seconds I've been awake today, so it must be close to how often my thoughts turned to you. When Davey fell off his bike and scraped his knee, I pictured you ruffling his hair (which needs another cut) and cleaning the wound. When Jack ripped an arm off Lucy's favourite doll and she burst into tears, I could see you cuddling her in your long arms and promising to fix the doll so it would be as good as new. I imagined I saw you in the dining room, helping William with his homework as I made macaroni and cheese for the children's supper. You were there with me when I read bedtime stories and kissed them goodnight, and when I collapsed onto the sofa afterwards and put my weary feet on the coffee table.

I think what I am trying to say – in words nowhere near as eloquent as your own, my love – is that even though I miss you so much my insides ache, you are still here with us, as much a part of our daily lives as though you were here in the flesh. I see you in William's kindness, in Lucy's tenaciousness, in Davey's humour and in Jack's smile.

And I do miss you, Thomas - so, so much I can't begin to describe. Our bed is cold and empty without you and I long to feel your arms around me, to hear the beating of your heart beneath my ear, to taste your skin and your lips, to feel you touch me and love me.

We may be thousands of miles apart but my love for you grows stronger by the minute. Right now, this separation is killing me, but in my heart I know nothing could ever come close to separating us. We are united both in body and soul and I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of me. That will never change.

Your Kate