May 16
Ignacia's POV
Svet and I sit in my bedroom watching tv. A marathon of How I Met Your Mother is on and we stuff our faces with snacks. She's on my beanbag chair and I'm across my bed, mindlessly leading food to my mouth. I don't recall the last part of the episode I was paying attention to, but Svetlana's sudden shriek of laughter startles me. I jump just enough to knock my food off the bed.
Svet's expression is almost bewildered, "Hun, are you okay? You seem.. distant.."
I set down my kitkat, pursing my lips almost reluctant to speak. "It's.. Dev. I've been thinking.. You know.. About telling him that I like him." Svet's face lit up. "But I don't want to until next week. What if he doesn't like me and telling him makes it all awkward? The less time around after the better.."
"But what if he likes you?" a massive grin shines from ear to ear.
"As if. Boys don't like me, sis. Hashtag, fact." We cracked up. Talking in tweet was our thing.
" Okay, so how are you telling him? And when? Details!" Svet is waving a spoon of Nutella at me.
"Erm, well.. I don't know. I'm shit with words.. Out loud. I thought about writing him a note. That way I could get it right, you know? Or I could just muster up the courage and blurted it out after class finals week. I'm leaning the note way. Less damage on my part."
"Oh, well when?"
"Next week?" I smile like a child that broke their mother's vase, but pretends they have no idea what's happening.
"You are so chicken," Svetlana shakes her head.
Later in the evening after I'm alone in my room I pull out my notepad and begin writing. Two or three drafts later and possibly some tears, nothing I'll admit, I have my finished product:
Dev,
The past few weeks getting to know you better, has really opened my eyes. What I was afraid of was true. I came to realize I like you more than I had planned to really like anybody around here. It was something I was suspicious of myself of for a long time. I didn't become fully aware of it until maybe a month ago. I have a best friend I go to for everything, and she believed it best if I were to say something. The thing is, I'm not so great about saying things out loud. Confrontations are a hard thing for me to handle, but this was something I had to do.
Ignacia.x
I sealed it with a kiss and placed it in my purse. Lying in bed awaiting blissful sleep, I realize I'm going to tell him tomorrow.
May 17
I wake up at 7 am and I can hear Svetlana down the hall in the bathroom getting ready. My nerves have gotten the better of me. I slip on my favorite pair of skinny jeans, a v-neck, my blue and orange Vans, and a subtle necklace. I take longer than usual in my morning routine. My purse is illuminated a vivid gold. I must be losing my mind.
Svet and I are in Bio when I decide to let her know, "I'm telling him today," I whisper during lecture.
She squeezes my hand, letting out a near silent squeal.
"When?" she whispers a few seconds later when the teacher's back is turned.
"After class, I'm thinking?" I remark with an upward inflection. I hadn't thought too hard about how I was going to do this. I just know I have to say something. My stomach is rolling as I stare across the room. He's taking notes, so focused. Then he looks up, smiling at me, me?, and waves the cutest little wave I've ever seen. I smile and wave back, then shift my attention to the notes I haven't been taking all class period.
The bell rings and we rush to put away our things.
"Hurry!" Svet nudges me, "he's leaving!"
We race out the door only to see him catching up with a friend from his next class.
"I.. I can't, Svet, "I choke up and slip the note back in my pocket. I was inches away from handing it to him and I couldn't. Oh, the anxiety.
"Just.. Argh!" Svet slaps my arm, "You have to do it!"
"I see him all the time. I'll do it later!"
We both run off to class.
I slip out of next period early, a perk of all the officials loving me, and make my way upstairs toward his class. I'm overwhelmed, my heart is racing, my head is a mess, then the bell rings. I'm waiting in the hall gripping the note, when I see him headed toward his next class with another friend. Oh how I wish that was me. I'm losing time and I remember I HAVE to tell him, so I weave through the crowd following close behind him.
Just before he walks into his class, "Dev!" my heart is pounding in my ears. He turns around and smiles with that light upward step you only see in movies. I almost don't hand it to him, my mind playing tug-o-war with my hand. "H-here.." I finally lunge my left hand forward.
"What is it?"
"Just.. take it.." my stomach is in knots. I can't believe I just did that.
He smiles and nods. I melt and rush off to English in a frenzy. I can't wait to tell Svet. I feel so brave.
I spend English avoiding work and talking to Elli, when the lunch bell finally rings.
I spot Svet across the cafeteria and wave to her. We practically run into each other's arms. "I told him!" I blurt out, grinning.
"I know, I just ran into him," she has a devilish demeanor.
"Wait, what?"
"I saw him and asked 'did Ignacia give you anything?' and he just grinned really big. Then I asked if it was something good and he said yes."
"Oh.. My.."
What did this mean for class tomorrow? Oh my daydreams.
