Life Without Bangtan Sonyeondan...

Chapter 03: Let Me Know

He spent the entire day trying to figure out what had happened to him and what this Namjoon was all about. He had read through his text messages and felt like a total creep. It was like going through somebody else's life, but it was supposedly his.

All the text messages were rather short and to the point. There were no in depth conversations like he would have with Yoongi or teasing and hazing with Jackson. No messages left on read by Jungkook. This Namjoon was lonely.

He didn't like that. He enjoyed the constant nagging from Jin. The whine that would come from Hoseok when he didn't like something. The way Jimin would interrupt his VLives and need constant love and attention. The way Yoongi would call him if he had just come up with the sickest beat for their next album. The way Jungkook would send him an unfinished track and ask for his opinion. The way Taehyung would say the most random things to make everyone laugh.

That was his life, not this empty space of a dorm.

How did someone survive like this? He didn't really know, but the minutes seemed to go by like hours. He stared at the ceiling for most of the night before exhaustion took over him and he finally fell asleep. The next day he had decided he would venture to Big Hit and try and talk to Yoongi. He would see if he could get any semblance of a memory out of the older man.

He dressed himself warmly, a pair of jeans, a black long sleeve shirt and a leather jacket. He didn't put too much into his appearance as he was just going to the main office. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to the number in his phone that was listed under SoYoung's name requesting a ride to the office.

He mulled around the dorm, trying to sort some things out in his head, but it still was not adding up to him. Namjoon sighed to himself as he waited for SoYoung to arrive, it didn't take long, so he didn't get too lost in his thoughts. SoYoung looked over at him as he drove to the office.

"Namjoon-ah, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go into the office in the state that you're in." SoYoung stated as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

"If I'm going to figure out who I am, SoYoung-ssi, I need to be in my usual atmosphere. I need to not stray from everyday life." Namjoon stated. Honestly, he wasn't trying to figure out who this him was, he was just going to hunt down Yoongi and talk to him.

"I guess that makes sense." SoYoung stated as he pulled in to the parking lot at the Big Hit offices. Namjoon got out of the car and headed inside, ducking his head, expecting for there to be a lot of fans and photographers around, but to his dismay, there really weren't that many people hanging around.

He had to remember that as a solo artist, he didn't have the popularity that BTS has - or had. He wasn't really sure how to describe it, knowing that BTS wasn't even a thing, which he was still trying to wrap his head around.

As they walked into the building, Namjoon looked around and glanced over at SoYoung.

"Where is Yoongi-hyung's studio?" He asked, the words leaving his mouth quickly.

"Uh... it's on the second floor, studio 6." SoYoung answered, his eyes showing both concern and confusion.

Namjoon gave a nod of his head and headed to the elevator and climbed on. He waited patiently, coming to the second floor and hopping off as he headed to studio 6. He stopped before going in and decided to grab two cups of coffee, he knew how HIS Yoongi worked, so maybe this one wouldn't be that different.

He made the coffees and headed back to the studio. He knocked and heard a voice call for them to come in. Namjoon pushed the door open and saw a the familiar silhouette of his hyung. Namjoon felt a wave of emotion wash over him and he nearly choked on his own spit.

"Y-Yoongi-hyung..." Namjoon felt himself stutter as he walked into the studio.

Yoongi turned around quickly, his brows were slammed together slightly in confusion as he stared at Namjoon. No one really called him hyung around this place, mostly because he was younger than most of the other producers and he didn't get himself incredibly close to any of the artists on the label.

"Hyung?" His lips pursed together. "Since when do you call me hyung?"

"I..." Namjoon swallowed slightly and took in the dark haired man before him. He offered the coffee to Yoongi and the man took it, his fingers wrapping around the warm cup, eyeing Namjoon suspiciously. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but he was. This Yoongi looked meaner and maybe harsher than the Yoongi that he was used to. "Sorry, I just... ummm... I wanted to see about maybe working together on a song, for my album." Namjoon tried to think quickly.

"What?" Yoongi looked at him, baffled. "Since when does the great Kim Namjoon want my help with a song?" His tone was sarcastic and his eyes didn't hold the life in them that the Yoongi he knew had. Namjoon took a second to take him in.

He looked disheveled, he didn't seem to care much about his appearance. His hair was jet black and shiny and soft looking like he hadn't bleached or dyed it in a really long time. Natural. His face was clear, but his cheeks were kind of puffy and there was some stubble on his chin. Namjoon lingered down further to see the pair of faded Air Jordans on his feet, baggy black sweatpants and a t-shirt clung to his smaller frame.

Namjoon noticed his fingers on the mouse and the keys of keyboard and the cuticles were eaten up or picked at. They were bad, worse than Namjoon had ever really seen them. He knew that wa a nervous, anxious tick of Yoongi's and it just showed him that his anxiety was bad, probably the worst that Namjoon had ever seen it.

"Is there a reason that we... haven't worked together in the past?" Namjoon arched a brow, trying to get to the bottom of what the issue was with himself and Yoongi.

"Are you serious right now, Namjoon?" Yoongi asked, staring at him for a second before diverting his gaze and moving his thumb to his mouth to gnaw on the skin around his nail beds.

"Look, something happened to me recently and I... I'm having a hard time remembering the past and... so if I did something to you, I apologize. Can I suggest a peace offering and ask that we collaborate together? I really do admire your work." Namjoon didn't care about pride at this point. He wanted to fill the empty void that was in his chest and the only thing that made sense was to find the other members of BTS.

Yoongi stared at Namjoon for a moment, he blinked and rested his hand on his lap. It was quiet for a moment and Namjoon offered the cup of coffee to the older man. Yoongi slowly accepted it and looked down at it. His brow arched slightly as he took a sip of it and made a face.

"How did you know how I took my coffee?"

Namjoon swallowed and shrugged his shoulders, "Lucky guess." He offered and Yoongi let out a sigh.

"Why all of a sudden do you want to work with me? We've been at Big Hit together for nearly eight years and you've never shown any interest in working with me." Yoongi was still incredibly skeptical of this whole thing and it was obvious.

"Like I said, I don't know what happened to me, but I can't really remember anything. I just know that I've heard some of your work and I really admire it and I think that we could work really well together." Namjoon stated as he sat on the table, looking down at the man that had been his brother for eight years, but was suddenly a stranger to him.

"Okay, I mean... I guess... we work for the same label... you're being weird and nice... so I'd feel like a complete asshole if I said no." Yoongi stated lowly, he moved his fingers through his messy dark hair.

"So, before we get started, maybe we should... get to know each other better?" Namjoon questioned looking at Yoongi curiously.

Yoongi blinked at him, his face said it all. Even though they didn't know each other in this world, Namjoon knew Yoongi and he knew how to read his facial expressions. He had never really been good at hiding how he felt.

"Just because we're going to work on a song together, doesn't mean we have to become best friend, Namjoon." Yoongi stated, running his hand over his face.

"I understand that, hy-Yoongi... but that doesn't mean we can't try to get along." Namjoon stated, almost calling him hyung again.

"You're starting to freak me out a little bit. Why are you being so weird today?" Yoongi questioned.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you..." Namjoon muttered to himself and Yoongi looked at him expectantly. "Nothing, just forget about it. What are you working on right now?" Joon asked curiously as he moved from sitting on the table to stand behind Yoongi and look at the screen in front of him.

There was no way that he could tell Yoongi what he knew right now. There was no way that he would believe him, especially with the way he was being so standoffish. This was not the Yoongi that he knew and it was going to take some warming up to get him used to this Namjoon, the one that was standing right behind him - not the person that he had supposedly been two days ago.

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