I hate how my heart jumps everytime I hear your name.
I hate how excited I can be just to hear you call my name.
I hate how foolish my smile can get every time I see your face.
I hate how I can still think of you when I’m keeping myself busy just to forget you.
I hate how I always relate every lyric, every character and even the littlest detail I’ve heard to you.
I hate how I can easily forgive you.
I hate how I love to run my hands on your hair and keep it behind your ears so I could see you.
I hate how it make me feel whole when you kissed me.
I hate how it felt good to press your soft body to mine and trace your curves while kissing your hand..
I hate how I always dream of kissing your lips and touching your body.
I hate how I could nearly cum just by the look of desire in your eyes.
I hate how I wanted to taste you again, like a secret or a sin.
I hate how I will never get tired of saying your name and marking you mine.
I hate how my feet won’t stop following you and have a life of its own.
I hate how I always end up being lost and alone by letting you to lead me on.
I hate how my heart beat so loud that everyone could hear it—but you.
I hate how even the most boring and stupidest things felt so interesting when I’m with you.
I hate how I beg for destiny and fate to work in my favor and be with you.
I hate how I wish that you’d grow tired of the road and eventually find your way to me.
I hate how I’m dreading to hold your hand and never let go.
I hate how I drown every time I look in your eyes and touch each other’s soul.
I hate how I wanted to drink coffee and watch movies with you.
I hate how sweet it would taste to eat my favorite strawberry with you.
I hate how I will let myself look stupid just to keep a conversation with you.
I hate how I loved to argue with you and let you win
I hate how I can hear your sweet voice out of nowhere.
I hate how I chose to be weak, stupid, fool, vulnerable, confused and invisible just to be with you.
I hate how I can talk to you for hours but still miss you.
I hate how I wanted for you to want me to.
I hate how I loved you so deeply that I forgot I was human too.
I hate how I lost myself just to show you how much I love you.
I hate that I have tasted heaven’s rain when I chose to drown in the ocean of your eyes.
I hate how my eyes keep searching for your bewitching face every time I enter a room full of people.
I hate how my parents warned me of the drugs on the street but not of a girl with brown eyes and beating heart.
I hate how I let you changed me.
I hate how long I’ve been bitter since you left me.
I hate how I can’t breathe by seeing you with another girl.
I hate how I have felt every bit of hell’s fiery pain when you stopped loving me.
I hate how I loved to get hurt when you were a fire that burned every inch of my skin.
I hate how I still wanted to be your friend even if you keep pushing me away.
I hate how I can’t say goodbye to your ghost that’s still hanging in my ribs as if I still belong to you.
I hate how I used to think I set a fire in your eyes but learned that it was just a reflection of the one you set in mine.
I hate that even if you slit my throat, I’d still thank you for touching my skin.
I hate how you’re just a stranger who happens to know my every secrets now.
I hate how it wound me like a knife stabbed straight to my heart when you left me hanging.
I hate that all this time, I drank you like the cure when maybe you were the poison.
I hate how I’m always soft for you.
I hate that every corner of me is haunted by you.
I hate that you could come knocking on my door ten years from now and I’d still open my arms wider and say “come here, it’s been too long. It felt like home with you”.
I hate that I still hate you.
I hate that I still hate these things.
I hate that I still hate myself.
I hate it, I hate everything..
I hate all of these because it means that……
I STILL LOVE YOU
..and I hate it.
----
Author's note:
I'm still trying to pick myself up from the last time I fell. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
*I do not own all of these words. Some of here I've read on internet. Some, but not all. Mostly are mine. Credits to the owners.
